Switch
by Carter Tachikawa
Summary: Knocked out during a mission, the guys see that they have switched minds and bodies. Now Aya plays soccer, Ken is computer crazy, Omi flirts, and Yohji is silent?! YES, SHOUNEN-AI! Another RanKen with slight Brad x Schu (very slight). R &R (COMPLETED!)
1. Prologue: Oh my God! I Have Omi's Legs!

Switch   
  
Prologue : Oh My God! I Have Omi's Legs!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight...I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish for tonight...I wish I could own Weiß Kruez and keep Aya as my slave forever. (Later) Rejected?! WTF?! Well, readers, there you have it! Weiß Kruez *still* isn't mine! (WAAAAHH!!!!!!!!) Oh yeah, you'll probably hear Kenken singing some old songs by people like Elvis (Such as "Teddy Bear" and "I Can't Help Falling Love With You" to Aya^^)   
  
Summary: After being knocked out during a mission, the boys find that their bodies and minds have switched! Now Aya is bouncing soccer balls, Ken spends too much time on the computer, Omi flirts with ladies, and Yohji is...silent and stoic? Can this problem be fixed?   
  
Pairings: Ran x Ken (yes, it's yaoi. Don't like, don't read) Although, due to the nature of this story, it may end up Yohji x Ken...or Yohji x Aya...or Aya x Omi???!!! In other words, the romance will turn to pure insanity.  
  
***I know, I know. All who read "Wanting Something in Return", I know you were expecting the lemon. Well, I have started on it and I kind have how I am going write it but I'm still struggling. You have to understand it *is* my first time ever writing a lemon, more particularly between two males. BUT DON'T WORRY! I will have it sometime before this year is over! 'Till then, sit tight and enjoy this next story. Since "Switch" one by a huge landslide as to the fic I should work on next, so be it! And I will start on the lemon too! Maybe it will also be up sooner than you think...  
  
Thanks to the reviewers of the last fic! (Sorry I can't remember all your names now! It's too early in the morning. But in the next chapter, I will put them down.)  
  
Without further ado, let's begin.  
  
***  
  
Before the mission...  
  
"Oh let me be!" Ken began singing as he rearranged some flowers by the window. "Oh let me be...your teddy bear! I just wanna be your teddy bear!"  
  
"So *you're* the one who changed the station on my car radio!" Yohji exclaimed. "I knew it! Your icicle of a lover there is too stiff to like music and the chibi is too young to remember those days."  
  
"We're *all* too young to remember those days, Yohji-kun." Omi corrected.   
  
Yes, it was another beautiful day in Koneko No Sume Ie and it was an hour before the usual hoard of schoolgirls made their way inside. Ken was singing to himself, sending smiles in Aya's direction. "Teddy Bear" had been the song he was singing to him for the past few nights. That and "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" were Aya's new favorite lullabies. It hadn't been long since he and Ken admitted how they felt about each other. Though it surprised Yohji and Omi that the normally cold Aya cared about gentle Ken, they didn't say anything against it. After all, it was good that Aya had someone other than his poor sister to fight for.   
  
Now Ken was beginning to croon again. "Wise men say...only fools rush in! But I can't help...falling in love...with you!" He placed a kiss on Aya's cheek. When no one else was looking, Aya smiled back at him.   
  
"Five...four..." Yohji began counting down the seconds before the schoolgirls came in. "Three...two..."  
  
Giggles and greetings burst through the door along with girls dressed in their uniforms, ready for another day at school. Almost immediately, the men were flocked by them. Aya and Ken separated, going back to work as usual. Most of the girls just lingered around so Aya decided to send them off.  
  
"Look, if you will not buy anything, then leave!" He snapped. Ken felt like melting. That saying changed every time but it always sounded so sweet and sexy coming from his lover's lips. In his head, he began to sing again, *Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? For I can't help...falling in love...with you!*  
  
"Ken-san! Will you please help me?" One girl asked, standing by the sunflowers.  
  
"Oh! Oh, sure! One minute." Ken grinned at Aya, who was still trying to shoo those girls away, before heading off to help that girl. He finished the song off in his head, *Take my hand! Take my whole life too! For I can't help...falling in love...with you!*  
  
The hours went by fast. Aya managed to chase a couple of girls away. Yohji made a date with a few of the older customers who had come in. Omi was being sweet to everyone. And Ken offered help to whoever needed it. This was the typical scene at Koneko. It would be so strange to see the boys switch places. It wouldn't be right.   
  
For what seemed like it was going to be a quiet day was cut short by Manx's arrival. She was unusually early today so they knew what this meant: the next mission would be serious. Very serious. She looked around, making sure there was no one other than the four of them. Even Momoe had disappeared somewhere. Yes, she had come on time.  
  
"New mission." She told them and they proceeded down to the basement.  
  
***  
  
During the mission...  
  
BOOM!  
  
It was not a pleasant sound. A 'boom' normally meant that something had exploded nearby and whoever was in the path of the explosion would either be hurt or possibly killed. At the very least, they'd be affected emotionally. The men of Weiß were no exception. Tonight, the 'boom' came from the factory where their targets had been hiding. Oh, the mission had been successful. All four of the 'evil ones' were lying dead inside, killed by each of the Weiß assassins. But no one accounted for the bomb that had been in there. And if it wasn't bad enough, there were a lot of strange chemicals and stuff hidden inside.   
  
Ultimately it was Omi who found and tried his hardest to disable the wicked ticking machine. Ken looked nervously over Aya's shoulder, gripping his lover's arm and silently hoping that the youngest assassin would be successful. Omi turned around, his handsome face pale, and shook his head.  
  
"It's no use! We have to leave! Now!" Omi yelled to the others. Aya nodded silently, then turned to Yohji and Ken. They didn't need to question him. What they needed to do was escape before they were broiled alive in the explosion. So they ran as far as they could and the moment they reached outside, the place went...  
  
BOOM!  
  
The force of the explosion propelled all four of them up into the air and down onto the pavement. Ken remembered being having Omi next to him and looking over in Aya's direction. His lover hadn't looked back at him since they made their way out of that factory. They were a good distance away from the explosion so the flames or the debris from the building hadn't hurt them. However, it was enough to throw them down and land on their heads. Land hard, that is.   
  
Hard enough to go unconscious for a few minutes.  
  
Hard enough to forget what they had been doing before landing on the ground.  
  
Hard enough to know that some of those strange chemicals in the building had burst out of their tubes and sent out horrible, unusual fumes that drenched the air they breathed and had entered their bodies. It didn't take long for some of those smells to disappear into the night as well. Others lingered around longer.  
  
If they had been closer to that building, they could have been killed. Obviously this mission had not been as easy as they had anticipated. But they were successful. That's all that mattered. Unconscious, slightly bruised but alive and successful. The pain was a small price to pay.  
  
Yohji groaned, being the first of the assassins to come out of his state of unconsciousness and feeling a headache coming on. Oh, he needed a cigarette and he needed it before he went crazy. Reaching into his pocket, he tried to pull out the box. Instead, he found himself holding a handful of darts.  
  
*What the hell?* He wondered. How did Omi's darts get into *his* coat pockets? Did the chibi accidentally misplace them or something? He wasn't the type to do that. Oh well. It didn't matter. Omi was still young, he could do things like this. Now for those cigarettes...  
  
He reached into his other pocket...and pulled out more darts. Okay, Omi's little habit of putting darts everywhere was getting on his nerves. The others were starting to groan next to him and come around. Head still pounding, Yohji looked at the darts in his hands. He also noticed his hands were a little smaller than normal.  
  
*Did I shrink or something?* He asked himself. After all, they *had* been in a factory with strange chemicals and junk inside. As horrible as it would be to shrink, it wouldn't surprise him too much. Plus his pants felt a little too small...and he could see his legs.   
  
"Something's not right here." He said in a singsong voice. These legs...so clean and stubby...definitely weren't his. And his shoes...why was he wearing red sneakers? Everything looked too small. Oh yes, something was not right in this little picture. His cigarettes were replaced by Omi's darts and he was wearing clothes that weren't his. Rather they looked like things Omi would wear...  
  
*Oh no! No way in hell! It can't be!* Yohji suddenly had a bad feeling what had happened. Looking over himself, he saw that he was wearing *Omi's* clothes! Catching his reflection in the window of the building he landed next to, he saw Omi's curious blue eyes staring back at him. He had Omi's blond hair and cute face. In short, he was Omi.  
  
"What...the...hell?" He asked himself, only it came out in Omi's voice. Hands against his face, he began rubbing them up and down. Yes, this was Omi's body. He was trapped in Omi's body.   
  
But who the hell was trapped in his? He noticed that the others were starting to get up. Ken rubbed his eyes and shook his head.  
  
"Ah...Aya-kun...Yohji-kun...Ken-kun...are you all right?" He asked.   
"Omittichi?" Yohji asked, guessing that who had switched bodies with Ken.   
  
'Ken' caught sight of 'Omi' and gasped. "That's me!"  
  
"We're dead, aren't we?" Yohji asked miserably.  
  
"I don't think so..." Omi didn't know who was in his body.  
  
"Yohji. It's me, Yohji."  
  
"Yohji-kun?"  
  
"That's right, chibi."  
  
"What are you doing my body?"  
  
"I don't know!" Yohji moaned. "But I want out! I'm cold! Don't you wear anything other than shorts?!"  
  
"Yohji-kun!"  
  
"I'm serious! My ass is freezing!"  
  
"That's the *least* of our problems, Yohji-kun! I'm in Ken-kun's body and you are in mine! So where are Aya-kun and Ken-kun, huh?"  
  
"I just wanna be your teddy bear." 'Aya' murmured on cue, sitting up. Blinking his violet eyes, he saw that Omi, Yohji, and Ken were up. Wait a minute...Ken?! No, that was not possible. It couldn't be. He felt the strands of hair hanging down by his face, realizing they were the blood-red eartails of his lover. And his left ear felt heavy...because of the long gold earring hanging on it. In his hand was Aya's katana. Eyes wide, he caught sight of his reflection in the window. Violet eyes stared back instead of brown ones. He was Aya now.  
  
"Ken-kun? Is that you?" The person who was now 'Ken' asked. The real Ken nodded.  
  
"I'm in Aya's body somehow." He replied. "And you're in mine. Aren't you, Omittichi?"  
  
"Uh-huh. Yohji-kun is in mine."   
  
"Then Aya is..." Ken began when Omi (Yohji) groaned.  
  
"Oh no! No! It can't be! Anyone but him!"   
  
'Yohji' stood up and brushed himself off without saying a word. He took off his sunglasses and looked at them as if they were a piece of scum. He pushed back a lock of his blond hair. 'Omi' felt like crying at that moment.   
  
"Are you all right?" 'Aya' asked.  
  
"I'm fine." 'Yohji' replied in an emotionless tone. "But why am I dressed like Yohji?"  
  
"Dressed like Yohji?! You *are* Yohji!" 'Omi' exclaimed. "You're me! Don't you know what happened?! Our bodies and minds were switched!"  
  
"What?" 'Yohji' raised an eyebrow.   
  
"It's true, koi." 'Aya' added. "I'm in your body now and Omi is in mine."  
  
"But I still can't figure how it happened." 'Ken' mused. "We escaped in time and the force of explosion pushed us onto the pavement, causing us to lose consciousness for a few minutes. Oh yes, let's not forget the potentially dangerous chemicals that were in that building. They may have factored into our switching bodies."  
  
'Aya' smiled. "Wow! I said all that?! You make me sound intelligent, Omittichi!"  
  
'Ken' nodded weakly. "Yes...anyway, this may be why we are in our present predicament. Now how we're going switch back to normal is a mystery. It may take days to come up with a solution."  
  
"Days?!" 'Omi' exclaimed. "Days?! I cannot be in the chibi's body for days! What about my date?! I have two next weekend! What the hell do I tell the ladies, huh? Oh girls, I can't go out with you anymore because I've switched bodies with a seventeen-year old who has stubby little legs!"  
  
"Stubby little legs?" 'Ken' twitched an eyebrow.  
  
"Omi has a point, Yohji." 'Aya' said before an argument could arise. "We're not going to solve this problem tonight. I say we don't stay here any longer. Let's go."  
  
"But my dates..." 'Omi' started up again.  
  
"Fine! I'll go on them!" 'Yohji' snapped.  
  
'Omi' thought about the disaster that would ensue on those days. Aya was going on his dates. Oh yes, he really wanted to cry now.  
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
I gave Ken brown eyes, like in the manga. I probably should have done with Yohji, giving him brown hair instead of blond. But I *always* picture him as a blond when I write my fics. I don't know why. So there you go.  
  
(Bleah! I know this part may have gone fast but I meant to do so. In case your wondering, YES! 'Yohji' does go on a date! (Be afraid. Be *very* afraid.) Once again, I'm sorry I've delayed the making of my lemon. Hopefully, I can come up with a good beginning to it. WSIR is also on mediaminer. org in case anyone wants to read it as a R fic. Not much difference, just the lemon scene will be making it longer. I'll probably put this one up there too. So I hope I've done good again. Leave a review. Do not leave a flame. It does not help worth shit. And something other than "MORE!" please. So take care and have a nice day!) 


	2. Chapter 1: No, Yohjikun! Don't Destroy M...

Switch  
  
Chapter 1: No, Yohji-kun! Don't Destroy My Lungs!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: Dear Santa, I've been very good this year. The only thing I really want for Christmas is to own Weiß Kruez and Aya as a slave wearing a bed sheet. (Gets letter back) Dear Carter, sorry, that's not possible?! What the...so there you go again, readers! I still *don't* own Weiß Kruez ;_; Also more oldies music that 'Aya' (Ken) will be singing^^.  
  
Summary: During a mission, the four guys are knocked and find out that they're bodies and minds have switched! Now Aya is bouncing soccer balls, Ken is computer crazy, Omi flirts with ladies, and Yohji is...silent and stoic?! Can they fix this mix up?!  
  
Pairings: RANKEN! (Aya x Ken) If you don't like, don't read. Although, due to the current circumstances, it could be Aya x Yohji...or Yohji x Ken...or Omi x Aya...ah, insanity ensues!   
  
***Well, chapter 1 is up. Still hard at work on trying to begin that lemon for you guys. Bear with me please. In the meantime, enjoy this. ***  
  
And I promise, the real Ran and Ken stay together!   
  
Well, let's begin!  
  
***  
  
"We have a problem." 'Ken' (or rather Omi) said. The men of Weiß had made it back to the flower shop on time. Other than the few bruises and cuts from their mission, their physical injuries were minimal. However, the switch in bodies and minds were another story. Right now, 'Ken' was recapping what had happened on the mission.   
  
"As you can see, we've switched bodies and minds with each other." He continued.  
  
"No, really?" 'Omi' (Yohji) snapped. He looked over himself. "I'm in a seventeen-year old body! I went from being the tallest to the smallest! Dammit, I need a smoke! Hey, Aya... no, not you, Kenken...I'm talking to the icicle in my body. Yeah, you! Hand me my cigarettes!"  
  
'Ken's' (Omi's) eyes widened in horror. "No! No, you are not smoking while you are in my body! It's bad enough you're destroying your own health!"  
  
"I'm *not* destroying my health!" 'Omi' shot back. "My head is pounding and if I don't get some nicotine in my body, I'm going to go crazy!"  
  
"Well, it looks like you'll have to do without them for a while." 'Ken' suggested. "I don't want lungs as bad as yours, Yohji-kun. That means no cigarettes."  
  
'Omi's' mouth dropped open. "No cigarettes?! What the hell?! Chibi! I'm more likely to die on a mission than I am to die of cancer! You can't be serious about me not smoking!"  
  
"I'm afraid I am, Yohji-kun. I want to keep my lungs healthy and clean."  
  
"First, I have Aya going on my dates and now I can't smoke! I hate life now!" 'Omi' moaned. However, when he said that, 'Aya' (Ken) was suddenly reminded of that. Surely his lover couldn't be serious about going out with strange women! After all, they had each other! Aya would never, ever take anyone other than him out! He couldn't!   
  
"Don't shi-ne my dates if they refuse to pay the bill." 'Omi' warned 'Yohji' now. 'Yohji' didn't look up or say anything. 'Aya' decided to confront him as 'Omi' and 'Ken' argued about the no-smoking-while-you're-in-my -body rule. He still didn't like that idea of his lover going out with someone else. Oh, he was sure the real Aya Fujimiya would not shi-ne the women for not paying the bill. He may be cold but he wasn't *that* cruel. What he didn't like was the possible outcomes of these dates...one that included leaving Ken forever.   
  
"Were you serious?" He asked, his now violet eyes softening with worry and concern. 'Yohji' turned in his direction, his green eyes now cold and emotionless.   
  
"Serious about what?" He wanted to know. It was strange listening to Yohji's voice now. Instead of that teasing tone, it was more dull and quiet. Of course, now that he was talking to his lover, it was softer.   
  
"Going on Yohji's dates. You're not serious about that, are you?"  
  
'Yohji' turned away. "I am. I don't want the rest of the world to know what happened."  
  
"I...I don't like the idea, koi." 'Aya' admitted.  
  
"You don't trust me?"  
  
"I do! I just don't trust..."  
  
"You're afraid I'm going to leave you." 'Yohji' realized. "I won't. It's only a favor. We have to hide what happened from everyone else."  
  
"But how long can we keep it up? What if we *never* get changed back? I'm going to miss holding *your* body and kissing *your* lips. It may be you in Yohji's body but I will still feel like I'm making love to Yohji. It won't feel right, koi." 'Aya' sighed.  
  
"Never say never." 'Yohji' smirked. Then he whispered. "Don't worry, Ken. I am doing this for Yohji. Nothing will happen."  
  
'Aya' smiled. It felt funny, considering that the real Aya normally didn't smile as much. "Well, if it's a favor, I guess it can't hurt. Just don't fall in love with one of them. Promise?"  
  
"Promise." 'Yohji' agreed. Finally, 'Omi' and 'Ken' stopped arguing. It seemed that 'Ken' had won because he had a satisfied look on his face and 'Omi' was sulking right now.   
  
"Yohji-kun has finally agreed not to smoke for the time that he's in my body." 'Ken' announced. "And with that finally fixed, we have to go to bed. I can't do anything about our problem now."  
  
"But Omittichi", 'Aya' began, "what about work tomorrow? What will the customers say if they see we're acting...strange?"  
  
"We'll just have to play pretend." 'Ken' decided. "We've lived with each other long enough to know what we're like. And Aya-kun is your boyfriend, Ken-kun. You won't have a problem being him. We just have to fool the world until we come up with a solution."  
  
"Great! Now I have to be all perky and cute!" 'Omi' moaned. "And Aya's gonna get to smoke my cigarettes! I really hate life!"  
  
"You'll survive." 'Yohji' replied, not caring too much about 'Omi's' plight and heading upstairs. One by one, the others did the same. Except for 'Omi's' suspenders straps getting stuck on the doorknob and dragging him down ('Ken' came to the rescue for that), the rest of the night was quiet and uneventful. Once they found the right rooms to be in, they went in and stayed there. Who knew what surprises and threats tomorrow held?  
  
___  
  
The next day...  
  
The morning had not started off that well for Omi (the real one). He forgot he was in Ken's body for starters. So imagine his surprise when he couldn't find any of his clothes in the closet. Also, Ken must have been gaining weight because his pants now fit a little too tight. Either that or he purposely wore tight clothes these days to please Aya. Omi hoped it was the first choice but found himself leaning more towards the latter. Once he got cleaned and dressed, he tried to remember how Ken acted.   
  
*Must start singing old songs.* He remembered Ken crooning "Teddy Bear" for the past few days and he hated the song now. Did he have to sing the damn song again? And would he have to flirt with Aya (who was the real Kenken now)? Being clumsy like him would not be easy. Neither would trying to play soccer with the children today.   
  
"Put a chain around my neck..." He began singing to himself. "Oh let me be...your teddy bear!"  
  
When he finally came down, he found Yohji (or rather, himself) already dressed for the day ahead. He had managed to find something he liked even though he hadn't brushed his hair properly. But it was what he was doing that horrified Omi. He saw Yohji (himself) leaning against a wall and smoking a cigarette, smoke hovering above him like a halo.  
  
That was enough to cause 'Ken' (Omi) to explode. "Yohji-kun! What did I say last night?!"  
  
'Omi' (Yohji) turned around, cigarette clamped between his teeth. "Oh...Ohayou Omittichi." He blew out some more smoke.  
  
"Don't 'Ohayou Omittichi' me! Why are you smoking?!"   
  
'Omi' had never seen 'Ken' so pissed off in his life. He looked innocently at the small cylinder in between his small fingers. "Huh? You mean this?"  
  
"Yes, I mean that! Put it out now!"  
  
"Aw, chibi! Can't I have *one* cigarette? No one's here yet. No one's gonna care."  
  
" You're wrong. *I* care! You can destroy your body all you want when we switch back! But need I remind you that those are my teeth, my lungs, and my body you are going to destroy with your nasty habit? Besides you promised that you would not smoke for the whole time you were in my body."  
  
"But what if I'm in your body forever?" 'Omi' (Yohji) pointed out. "Can't I just have one last cigarette?"  
  
"No!" 'Ken' plucked the cigarette out of 'Omi's' mouth and ground it 'til it was out. "You're not Yohji-kun right now. You're me so act like me. If anyone is going to smoke, it's Aya-kun."  
  
"Oh, so you're not worried if Aya destroys his body?"  
  
"It's your body, not his. His mind is in your body."  
  
"Fine, fine!" 'Omi' gave up and handed the pack of cigarettes over. "And you better stop putting 'kun' at the end of our names, chibi. Or else people will think you've lost it."  
  
"Right...Yohji." 'Ken' nodded.   
  
"Omi. I'm Omi."  
  
"Right...Omi." 'Ken' tried again and then he started to sing those silly songs. He finally picked the one that hadn't been half as annoying as the others. "And we can build this dream together. Standing strong forever. Nothing's gonna stop us now!"  
  
"And if this world runs out of lovers. We'll still have each other. Nothing's gonna stop us, nothing's gonna stop us now!" [1] A beautiful new voice sang coming down the stairs. Looking up, they saw 'Aya' humming and singing to himself, straightening out that unmistakable orange turtleneck of his. 'Omi' and 'Ken' exchanged looks. They may have been in different bodies but they were thinking the same thing. The real Aya Fujimiya needed to sing more. He sounded phenomenal!  
  
"I'm so glad I found you! I'm not gonna lose you. Whatever it takes, I will stay here with you! Take it to the good times, see it through the bad times, whatever it takes is what I'm gonna do!" 'Aya' belted out and bounced to song. He smiled at 'Ken' and 'Omi' before going back to his song and putting on his apron.   
  
"A star is born." 'Omi' joked watching 'Aya' groove and sing.   
  
"Let them say we're crazy! What do they know? Put your arms around me, baby, don't ever let go! Let the world around us...just fall apart! Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart!" 'Aya' went on.  
  
"You're not supposed to be singing." 'Yohji' (Aya) said, coming downstairs and putting up his blond hair into a ponytail. 'Aya' stopped singing and sighed. He'd forgotten that he had switched bodies.   
  
"Well, we're here." 'Omi' said. "What do we do?"  
  
"What we normally do." 'Yohji' replied, taking his apron and putting it on.   
  
"He's right." 'Ken' agreed. "Aya-kun...no, Yohji...is right! We go about business like usual. Try not to do anything that will draw attention. Play pretend, remember?"  
  
"So that means you have to sing, Ken." 'Aya' said, pleased that he finally got the hang of the pretending to be someone else deal. He had practiced his lover's ever so famous death glare and saying all last night. Now he showed it off, crossing his arms and glaring at the others. "If you're not buying anything, then get out!"  
  
'Omi' clapped. "Now that's more like the Aya we're used to!"   
  
'Ken' nodded with approval.  
  
'Yohji', however, just fumed at him. 'Aya' blushed with embarrassment. What had he done wrong? Did he not like the way he was acting or something? As the other two went to get ready to open shop, 'Aya' approached 'Yohji'.  
  
"What's wrong?" He whispered.   
  
"I don't like you mocking me." 'Yohji' replied simply but the anger was in his voice.  
  
"I'm not mocking you, koi. That's the way you always act towards customers who are just hanging around. And I suggest you get into character soon. They'll be coming in."  
  
"I'm not flirting with anyone."  
  
"I know you don't like it and I don't like it but you have to. I mean, you promised Yohji...or rather, Omi... you'd go on his dates. Just be nice to girls at least."  
  
"Ken..." 'Yohji' purposely called 'Aya' by his real name. It was his way of getting personal now.   
  
"Please, koi? Just be nice to them...for me?"  
  
'Yohji' sighed. "Fine. Only because you insist. But no singing!"  
  
"Five...four..." 'Omi' began counting down. "Three...two..."  
  
All at once the hoard of girls came in. 'Yohji' forced a smile, not a big one, but it still looked sweet. 'Aya' made his face hard and cold, ignoring anyone who came his way. 'Omi' grinned at the girls while 'Ken' just welcomed them all into the shop. They would fool the girls and then work on their problem, provided Kritiker didn't come in with a mission. Things wouldn't get worse. They couldn't be allowed to.  
  
Then again, the day had just started...  
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
[1] Hee hee hee...the song that 'Aya' was singing is Starship's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us" now and no, it's not mine either.   
  
  
Whoa! One more chapter that made my head spin and probably did with you guys too. To clarify everything, here's a list of who's in who:  
  
Aya's body- Ken's mind  
Ken's body- Omi's mind  
Omi's body- Yohji's mind  
Yohji's body- Aya's mind.  
  
When I refer to 'Aya', it's actually Ken, 'Yohji' is actually Aya, and so forth. (I think I just succeeded in confusing you guys even more-_-0) And I promise, the RanKen is still coming! Next up...he he he...'Yohji's first date and 'Aya' spies on them! Also, he tries his first cigarette! Review, don't flame, give me something other than "MORE!" and hang tight. The story has only begun. 


	3. Chapter 2: Gangway! 'Aya's' Learning to ...

Switch  
  
Chapter 2: Gangway! 'Aya's' Learning to Drive His Porsche!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: I'm going to be boring for this disclaimer. Weiß Kruez is property of Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiß and everyone else who worked on it. No, it is not mine. Nor are any of the songs sung here.   
  
Summary: During a mission, our guys are knocked and when they awaken, they find out that they switched minds and bodies! Now Aya plays soccer, Ken is computer crazy, Omi flirts with the ladies, and Yohji is...silent and stoic?! Can they ever fix this mix-up? Will they end up killing each other before they switch back? (More than likely...)  
  
Pairings: Shounen-ai, of course. RANKEN! (Ran x Ken...don't like, don't read) But due to the craziness, it may seem Yohji x Aya...or Ken x Omi...or....ahhhhh, insanity! (But it stays RanKen despite the conflicts)  
  
(Well, I'm back and here's the next part. I'm sorry I took longer than usual. I'm not feeling good in my stomach as I'm writing this cause this weekend was hectic with functions and the state fair going on...it's from all that fatty, greasy food that I feel so gross inside-_-0 But I'm still writing this chapter to please all of you^_^ Anyway, you can probably guess that Ken is going to learn how to drive his lover's car...and you can bet his is *not* going to be an expert at driving anytime soon. Ah well...let's begin! I've talked enough)  
  
  
***  
  
"Showtime." 'Omi' muttered before putting on a big smile and greeting all the girls the way the real Omi would. 'Aya' took a deep breath, realizing now was the time to put his practice to good use. Turning his smile upside-down and frowning, he crossed his arms and ignored anyone talking about him. The girls pointed to him and giggled, which in any another situation would have made him blush. But this was his lover. He was Aya. Aya did not blush, he just went about his business and stayed cold to the rest of the world. He had to stay cold.  
  
"Oh, what a lovely bouquet!" One older customer who had come in was telling 'Omi', pointing to a lovely arrangement of roses and other wild flowers tied together with magenta ribbons. "I would really like to buy that package."  
  
"I'd love to buy your package, sweetheart." 'Omi' murmured a little too loudly. The woman turned around, not sure what she heard but knowing it was directed towards her.  
  
"Huh?" She asked. 'Ken', unfortunately, heard what 'Omi' said and quickly came to the rescue before they lost this customer.   
  
"Um...Omi says he will be glad to ring you up! Isn't that right, Omi?" 'Ken' glared at him, causing 'Omi' to gulp and nod his head. The woman seemed very satisfied with that answer. When she turned away, 'Ken' hissed. "Just what the hell were you doing?! You make me look like a...a..."  
  
"Me?" 'Omi' suggested.  
  
"Yes!" 'Ken' sighed. "Now don't do that again! You make me look bad!"  
  
"*I* make you look bad?! Look what Aya's done to me!" 'Omi' pointed to 'Yohji' who was lingering in one corner. All the girls had noticed something was wrong cause 'Yohji' wasn't flirting or teasing them like usual. In fact, he hadn't even said a word to them. They knew they were all under eighteen but he wasn't that cold!   
  
'Ken' shook his head. "Don't worry about him. Now, I better not catch you flirting with the girls again."  
  
"Who are you, my mother?" 'Omi' rolled his eyes. Then he remembered the woman waiting up front. "Look, I gotta take care of her. Go back to work...Ken-kun."  
  
'Omi' walked away as 'Ken' went back to singing. "Oh, my love! My darling! I hunger for...your touch...along...lonely nights!" [1]  
  
Meanwhile, 'Yohji' had simply refused to act his part. He just ignored the girls hovering around him and anytime one of them would look him in the eye, he quickly darted away. Some of the girls were offended by this gesture but chose not to say anything. 'Aya' knew that he better make 'Yohji' act like normal before the secret was let out. When the crowd had moved away from the scowling 'Yohji', he decided to speak up.   
  
"You're not acting like Yohji, koi." 'Aya' began, a look of worry creasing his face. It was amazing though. Aya Fujimiya seemed to have no emotions yet recently he had done everything from smiling to looking afraid. Ken knew his lover was beautiful when he didn't smile but with emotions...he was absolutely stunning. He caught his reflection in the mirror when he was preparing to act his part and was amazed of how sweet Aya's smile was. Oh, he had seen it before but looking in that mirror...it was a whole new perspective.  
  
*Then again, everything is a whole new perspective.* Ken reminded himself.   
  
'Yohji' turned to his boyfriend, whose soft brown eyes were replaced by his own cool violet ones. Then he glared at the schoolgirls giggling and wandering around with no intention to buy something or bring money in their direction. People like that made him angry inside.   
  
"Why should I act like Yohji?" He demanded. "I'm still Aya Fujimiya inside."  
  
"I know that! But, it's as Omi...or I...said, we have to fool everyone or else they'll know something is wrong. Already, you're drawing attention to yourself. What are you going to do when Yohji's dates comes in? You can't be cold and unfeeling towards them. You said you'd do him the favor."  
  
"I'm beginning to regret it now." 'Yohji' muttered. "But you're right. I just hate..."  
  
"The thought of acting like Yohji? Just smile, koi. If anything, smile at the girls. Maybe throw in a greeting or something. You don't even have to go into lengthy conversations if you don't want to."  
  
'Yohji' thought about it and, a minute later, he smiled. "You're smart, Ken." When the girls weren't looking, he leaned over and kissed the boy. It was weird because he was kissing himself technically. But the real Ken felt it.   
  
'Aya' smiled back. "No. I'm just helping you out." And he tried to return the kiss. But something inside kept him from doing so...mainly the fact that these lips belonged to Yohji, not his lover. He backed away, leaving 'Yohji' disappointed and somewhat hurt.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked.  
  
"It's not you." 'Aya' murmured. "I'll be kissing Yohji, not you. I'm sorry, koi."  
  
"Oh, Yohji-san! Help me out!" One other customer called him over. 'Yohji' sighed and put on a smile. They had to break up this little conversation now. He touched 'Aya' on the shoulder before heading off to help the girl. Then he caught a couple of ladies ogling the boys and gushing about how cute they were.   
  
*Be Aya. Be Aya.* 'Aya' kept telling himself. Finally he got the ever so famous saying out.   
  
"If you're not buying anything, then leave!" He glared at the group. The girls, of course, ignored him the way they did the real Aya Fujimiya. It was not easy being his lover. The more he stayed silent, the more he wanted to talk to people. When he caught sight of 'Ken' singing and being helpful to the customer, it made him miss his body. Lingering around in one corner, acting as if he didn't give a damn about others, was also hard. Aya wasn't completely heartless but he wasn't that open either. True, he spoke to Ken a lot these days, sometimes he talked to Sakura Tomoe, and he probably did speak to his imouto as she was sleeping but he wanted to stay as far away from people as possible. Ken, on the other hand, liked hanging out with people, especially children. If speaking his mind meant destroying his image, so be it. At least people would know how he felt.  
  
But Aya...oh Aya, with his blood-red hair, amethyst eyes that deeper than they appeared at first, and strong body...Aya was not like that. Speak to no one, help out anyone who needs it, and then go about life. Aya was complex, which was what Ken loved about him. It left him room to discover hidden gems within those purple eyes. Yet there were also times that he wished Aya was an easier book to read. He wished that his love would let others, not just a seldom few, into his life.   
  
Right now, he caught sight of 'Yohji' smiling at some girls. Oh good, he was acting a little more in character. It looked like their secret would stay secret after all.   
  
"Hi, Yotan!" An older woman greeted him, batting her long lashes and giggling in the process. 'Yohji' could say a lot of nasty things towards this woman, seeing how she was hanging around like the majority of the people here, but he resisted. 'Omi' looked in her direction as well.  
  
"Hey, baby!" He greeted her. Poor 'Ken's' eyes went wide again and 'Omi' realized what he had done. The woman was also confused, seeing that a boy many years younger than her responded to her that way. Once again, 'Ken' came back to the rescue.  
  
"Omittichi here is welcoming you to the shop. He's been learning a few tricks from Yohji...right?" 'Ken' glared at him and 'Omi' slowly nodded.  
  
*Baka.* 'Aya' thought. Leave it to a beautiful woman to make the real Yohji forget whose body he was in. Lucky for him, the woman bought the excuse. Then she turned to 'Yohji', who had also dropped his charade and gone back to being silent.  
  
"Yotan, I hope you haven't forgotten our date!" She said in a singsong voice. 'Aya' looked horrified. The date! It was today?! Why hadn't Yohji mentioned this to anyone?   
  
'Yohji', too, looked a little surprised. He wasn't sure what he was to say. Finally, he got it out. "Hey...baby. How's it...hanging?"  
  
'Omi' groaned. "Tell me he did not just say what I think I heard him say."  
  
'Ken' nodded. "He did."  
  
The woman looked at him strangely but shook her head. "I'm all right. Now are you gonna take me out or are you gonna make me stand around all day?"  
  
'Yohji' smiled at her. "Let's go."  
  
They approached the door when 'Omi' interrupted them. "Uh...Yohji-kun! You're forgetting your car keys!" He held them out in his hand. 'Yohji' nodded and took them. The woman slipped one arm through his and it made 'Aya' (Ken) envious. He wanted to be in that pretty woman's place so badly. If he had known that the woman would be hot or that the day was today, then he wouldn't worry about it so much. But no. His Aya was going out with some stranger who'd probably steal him away.  
  
"Hears hoping he doesn't wreck my car." 'Omi' said.   
  
"He won't." 'Ken' said. Then he lowered his voice. "It's Aya-kun. He's much too careful on the road. And he knows how to drive so it won't be a problem."  
  
"What's he gonna do if he gets caught....I don't know, speeding or something? He can't shi-ne someone for doing that." 'Omi' pointed out.   
  
"Aya-kun's a stickler for following speed limits." 'Ken' reminded him.   
  
Meanwhile, 'Aya' (Ken) was too busy worrying about other things. So far, they were very unsuccessful in getting a solution to their little problem. More than likely, they would not get it before the night was over. What if they got a mission? Ken didn't know how to use his lover's katana. He'd feel strange wearing that burgundy trenchcoat, which probably weighed more than Aya did. And what would the real Omi do about soccer practice with the children today? They would realize something was wrong when 'Ken-san' kept missing the goal. Not that Omi was a horrible athlete but he wasn't that good either. Oh yes, and Aya-chan! The real Aya went to visit the young girl sleeping in the hospital almost everyday. He had to go there too but what would he do? He didn't know Aya-chan that well so what could he say to her?   
  
*I'll just have to say something.* Ken decided. *And if a mission comes, I'll just have to use Aya's katana or die trying. Hopefully, it won't be the latter.*  
  
Time was going too slow now as was business. Momoe didn't even question why the boys seemed different...then again, Momoe rarely paid attention to anything except the cat. The real Ken found himself becoming more and more impatient. It was probably best to trust Aya but he kept worrying about the woman. What if she became more attractive and appealing than him? Would Aya leave him like that? He couldn't.  
  
"Yo, Kenken! What's wrong?" 'Omi' (Yohji) asked him. 'Aya' (Ken) turned around and shook his head.  
  
"Nothing, Yohji. Nothing's wrong."  
  
"You're acting like someone peed in your cereal [2]". 'Omi' pointed out. "Why do you look so bummed out?"  
  
"Ah..." 'Aya' struggled to think of something to say.   
  
"You are worried about Aya-kun too." 'Ken' realized. Hearing himself say Aya-kun was very strange but the real Ken said nothing. He just nodded.  
  
"I knew it. I'm just wondering how he's going to ruin my date." 'Omi' sighed.   
  
"I can't take it anymore!" 'Aya' exclaimed. "We have to go and see what he's doing."  
  
"*We*?" 'Ken' raised his eyebrows and backed away. "Oh no! No! You and Yohji-kun are not getting me involved in this silly scheme of yours. Those are your lovers, not mine!"  
  
"Omi, c'mon!" 'Aya' whined.  
  
"Why, Ken-kun? Why don't you trust Aya-kun? You love him, don't you?"  
  
Yes, it was true. Ken loved Aya and he trusted him...but to leave him to a tall, leggy woman who had wrapped herself all over him as they left? No. No, he didn't like that idea at all.   
  
"I just want to see if he's okay." 'Aya' said. "But if you don't want to come, that's fine."  
  
"Which means you'll have to double up on your shifts." 'Omi' added. "I'm going with him. I'm gonna stop Aya before he ruins my sex life."  
  
'Ken' thought about it for a while before responding. "Fine, I'll go too! I'll get Momoe-san to take care of the shop. But we should be gone for one hour only, no less!"  
  
"Yes, mother." 'Omi' rolled his eyes again. Why, oh why, was he the one stuck in the chibi's body?   
  
"One hour is fair enough." 'Aya' agreed. "Let's go!"  
  
"Whoa, Kenken!" 'Omi' stopped him before he ran out towards his motorcycle. "Your Porsche is over there!"  
  
'Aya' felt fear growing inside him. "Porsche?"  
  
"Yup. You have to drive Aya's Porsche or people that pass us by will look really weird at us. Aya wouldn't drive your motorcycle. I can't drive cause I'm small and neither can Omi. You have to drive it."  
  
"But, Yohji! I don't *know* how to drive! And even if I did, I can't drive Aya's Porsche! He'll kill me if I hit something!"  
  
'Omi' chuckled. "Relax. I'm gonna sit up front with you and teach you all I know."  
  
*Which is why I'm afraid.* Ken responded in his head. But Yohji had a point. Aya would not be seen driving his motorcycle and the Porsche would probably be the best vehicle for all of them to go in. Somehow, he'd have to suck in his gut and drive that car. It couldn't be hard. If Aya and Yohji could drive, why couldn't he?   
  
"All right. We're taking the Porsche." 'Aya' decided, knowing this was a decision he would come to regret.  
  
He was right of course.  
  
"Okay, Kenken, turn on the ignition key." 'Omi' commanded. "Make sure that everyone is seated and everything else is in place. Check your mirrors, look behind you...perfect! Now shift gears to reverse...yeah, right there. Lift your foot off the break."  
  
They were starting to move backwards and 'Aya' froze with fear.  
  
"This isn't right! We're moving backwards!" He exclaimed.  
  
"That's cause you're on reverse." 'Omi' sighed. 'Aya' left out a breath of relief. 'Omi' looked back out the window. "Okay, we've backed up enough. Foot on the break, Kenken."  
  
'Aya' did as he was told. Instead of stopping, the car went faster.  
  
"I said "break"! Not gas!" 'Omi' exclaimed as the car zoomed on backwards. 'Ken' was looking very scared sitting in the back seat. 'Aya' had no idea where the break was.   
  
"GET YOUR FOOT OF THE GAS!" 'Omi' screamed, when he looked back and saw that they were coming closer to a curb. "Turn the car, dammit! Turn it! Turn it!"  
  
"Which way?!" 'Aya' was so confused.  
  
"It doesn't matter which way! Just as long as you stay away from that curb!"  
  
So 'Aya' turned right, still forgetting to take his foot off the gas pedal. They swerved right, still moving backwards...and hit something. It made a cracking noise and then fell silent. Finally, 'Aya' put his foot on the break.  
  
"That did *not* sound good." He whispered. 'Omi' looked like he was going to have a heart attack. 'Ken', who had been scared through the whole adventure, was brave enough to go outside and see what 'Aya' had hit.   
  
"You're lucky, Ken-kun." He said coming back inside. "It was a box."  
  
"A box!" 'Omi' said gratefully.   
  
"An empty box." 'Ken' added. "You were *very* lucky. But that's the good news."  
  
'Aya' paled. "You mean there's bad news?"  
  
'Ken' nodded. "Turn off the car and come outside. Both of you. You are not going to like what you're about to see."  
  
With 'Omi's' help, 'Aya' turned off the car and went outside. 'Ken' pointed to the back...where a long, jagged scar had settled in the first driving lesson. Oh yes. Aya would kill him now.  
  
"I'm dead." 'Aya' realized. "Aya has eyes like a hawk. He is bound to notice that!"  
  
"How did it get there?" 'Omi' asked.  
  
"Probably during the whole driving experience. We were so busy panicking, Ken-kun must have hit something and we never knew 'til it was too late."   
  
'Aya' gulped. Oh, he would get it now. Aya didn't like anything to happen to his precious Porsche and now it had a scratch. What would he do? Could he keep this from Aya long enough for someone to repair the car? Most likely not.   
  
"You know what?" 'Omi' said after a while.  
  
'Aya' looked at him miserably. "What?"   
  
"I think I should drive after all. You'll probably run into a person next time."  
  
***  
  
[1] This lovely song is called "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers (I believe) and was in the movie, "Ghost." It ain't mine, in short.  
  
[2] *shudder* How many of you have seen that wretched dubbed version? I, sadly, am one who has. You may remember that Yotan did say a line similar to this...only it was "Who peed in his Cheerios?" Not just any cereal, it was Cheerios! Do the Weiß guys even *know* what Cheerios are? Actually, the dub is not *that* horrible. But it ain't the original. I love the Japanese version ten times better.   
  
***Please note, I'm still not feeling well so if this chappy isn't up to par, you know why.   
  
(Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! That chapter also took forever! I'm sorry. I said I would get 'Aya' to spy on 'Yohji' but I wanted to get this little scenario out of the way first. You can bet this story is longer than "Wanting Something in Return". I just don't know how long it will be. Yes, they will go on a mission in mixed up bodies. Yes, the real Omi will have to play soccer with children. Yes, the real Ken will visit Aya-chan and Sakura may drop by too. I have a lot of ideas I'm playing with here. Chapter 4 will have the whole spying scene! Let's see how 'Yohji' fares on his date! Stay tuned!) 


	4. Chapter 3: The Date Scene and A Costume ...

Switch  
  
Chapter 3: Dun Dun Dun! The Guys Spy and A Costume Party!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: Trick or treat, people of Weiß Kruez! Now may I own the series? (Gets a candy bar thrown in direction) WTF?! Okay, I don't own it again! It may not be mine now but I do have a plan B!  
  
Summary: During a mission, the guys are knocked and awaken to find themselves in one another's body! So now Aya plays soccer, Ken loves computers, Omi hits on girls, and Yohji is in a...shi-ne mood?! The insanity ensues! Can they go back to normal?!  
  
Pairings: Since I love it so much, of course it's RANKEN! Ran x Ken...yes, it's a yaoi. (Although, according to the circumstances, it's may appear to be Yohji/Aya...or something else...well, expect your mind to be fried by the end of this. I promise though, it STAYS RanKen!  
  
(Happy Halloween, dear readers! I'm sitting here, dressed up as Ranners (orange sweater and eartails included!), writing the next half of this story for you. I'm a lot better than I was when I wrote chapter 3 so that's a good thing. I'm not going trick-or-treating cause I don't think anyone will know who I am-_-0. Plus it's too cold and I don't want to go out. As you wanted, it's the date scene! You can probably bet that Ken has only a few more days to live considering that in the last chapter he scratched up Aya's precious Porsche. But for now...let's see how the real Aya is faring on his date.)  
  
Thanks to the reviewers again: fei, Keeshe Kaldaka (I'm still awaiting the drawing you were supposed to make for "WSIR" !), lorien, CherubKatan, kamibukurosama, siberian, Ryia Jen Rowen, and Ayako. Oh yes, and thanks to Jade Green who reviewed this fic on mediaminer.org. (Yup, it's there too)  
  
And before I forget...the guys of Weiß and Schwarz are in the back getting into costume. So Weiß will be dressed as the Schwarz and vice (or should I say "Weiß". Get it? Vice? Weiß? Ah, forget it!) versa. I figured, since I'm Ranners, let's dress the others up too! You'll see them at the end. Who's who will be a surprise...  
  
Farfie (from background): Nyohohohohoho! I get claws! God will be hurting...  
  
Me:??? So much for the element of surprise. Anyway, time to get somewhat serious so without further ado, let's begin!  
  
***  
  
The real Aya Fujimiya was *not* having a good time on his date.   
  
The woman, who introduced herself as Akane, wanted to stay wrapped around his body no matter where they went. She giggled too loud, wore too much makeup, and kept burying her face into his chest. He would have said something against it until he remembered he wasn't in his body anymore. He had to act like Yohji. But still... where the hell did Yohji find women like this?  
  
*I'm doing you a favor, Kudou. You owe me.* 'Yohji' (Aya) fumed. The only one he wanted nuzzling against him was Ken. No wonder his lover had been so reluctant on letting him go on this date. He only prayed that woman wouldn't ask him to sleep with her.   
  
"Isn't this romantic, Yotan?" Akane cooed, leaning against him and the scent of her cheap perfume entering his nostrils, almost causing him to choke.  
  
*I feel sick.* 'Yohji' thought as she got closer. They were watching people play down on the sand at the beach [1]. He had taken her to lunch earlier, getting lost three times in the process and never getting used to driving Yohji's car. The scene at the restaurant hadn't been any better. She talked too much for starters. She wanted to know about his past and his favorite things. What was his favorite color, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite movie, favorite country (God knew why she asked that), and anything else that came into her mind. More and more, 'Yohji' wanted to ditch this girl. But if he wanted this woman not to know what was going on, he had to stay in character. Yohji would answer these questions with ease.   
  
"I'll answer all your questions at once." He had said smoothly, grinning at the woman. "Red, strawberry (even though the real Aya was more of a chocolate fan), lots of movies that I don't have a favorite, Japan itself, and I like you. Good enough?"  
  
"Good enough." Akane cooed.   
  
*Yet if we're going to stay in character, that means...Ken!* 'Yohji' suddenly realized that Ken had no driving skills whatsoever. He wouldn't dare to drive the Porsche, would he? Yet he couldn't go out on his own motorcycle cause people would see something wrong with that picture. The only thing Ken could do was stay in the flower shop. Hopefully, he would.  
  
*I trust Ken.* 'Yohji' reminded himself. *If he knows what's right, he will stay put. He won't touch my car.*   
  
"Yotan, what's wrong?" Akane broke his thoughts. "You've been so quiet since we left the restaurant."  
  
"Nothing's wrong." 'Yohji' muttered. If this woman was smart, she would know better than to pry into his business and ask more questions.  
  
She wasn't.  
  
"You haven't smiled once during our date." Akane pointed out. "Where's the Yotan I ran into the other day? The one who was giving me compliments and saying how pretty I looked? You've changed. It's like...it's like you've switched bodies or something."  
  
*You have no idea how close to the truth you are.* 'Yohji' thought to himself. But he wasn't going to let this woman know what had happened. So he faked a smile and said. "Sorry...baby. I'm just...lost in those...pretty eyes of yours."  
  
Akane almost melted to the ground. "Oh Yotan! You are so sweet!"  
  
*Why the hell did I say that?* 'Yohji' wondered. But the charade worked. "It's true...sugar. Those eyes of yours , like deep pools of eternal but peaceful and sweet darkness...I feel like I'm losing myself in them."  
  
That was enough for the woman to leap up and plant a kiss on his lips. Her lipstick was too thick and chunky so 'Yohji' tried not to throw up. He had used that same line on Ken not too long ago and somehow it didn't feel right using it on this strange woman. What would his lover say if he were to catch them in the middle of this kiss?  
  
*Ken isn't here. He will never know.* 'Yohji' assured himself. He held onto that woman tightly, figuring this was what the real Yohji would do. Uncomfortable as it was, he still held her. *If only you were Ken...only then would this whole scene feel right.*  
  
"You know what?" The woman whispered seductively.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm starting to get bored."  
  
*I was bored from the beginning.* 'Yohji' thought nastily. He didn't like where this conversation was going. *This is the last time I do anyone a favor!*  
  
"So what are you suggesting?" He asked, afraid of what the answer was going to be.  
  
"Let's go to a place...where we can be alone." Akane leaned closer and kissed him again. 'Yohji' did not enjoy it but he kissed her back only because the real Yohji would do that.   
  
"Any idea where you want to go?" He asked.   
  
"Paradise. Heaven. To the stars...anywhere, Yotan. Anywhere as long as I am with you." She suggested and then she dragged him away from the scene at the beach. The real Yohji would have loved what would come next.   
  
However, this was Aya in Yohji's body. He knew what would happen. And he hated it. He really hated it.   
  
***  
  
"We're here!" 'Omi' exclaimed as he drove the Porsche into a parking space. It felt strange though, that a seventeen-year-old was zooming by in an expensive car. Lucky for everyone, Aya made sure that his car had tinted windows [2] and no one could peer in. 'Ken' had made sure 'Omi' did not speed or go past any red lights while he was driving. Should they be caught, that would lead more problems like why an under-aged youth was driving a car and why they didn't follow the law. Then the real Aya Fujimiya would have all their heads. Lucky for them, 'Omi' kept a normal speed and stopped when he was supposed to.  
  
'Aya' sat in the passenger seat next to him, nervously picking at his nails. The scratch...one measly scratch on Aya's car...and he caused it. What would his lover do when he saw that? What would he do? 'Ken' told him the scratch wasn't that bad and it could be fixed. But 'til the car *was* fixed, they had to avoid the real Aya.   
  
*I can't believe I almost wrecked his car!* 'Aya' thought miserably, still staring at his nails. His Aya had some very clean, very smooth nails. He just noticed them right now. He had a big urge to start biting them cause he had a bad feeling on what the real Aya would do if he saw the scratch. But, considering he was already in trouble for the car, he didn't want to make things worse by ruining his lover's fingernails too.   
  
"Are you sure this is the place, Yohji-kun?" 'Ken' asked, looking around. They had come to the beach, which was where the real Yohji had planned to take his date, Akane, too. If she remembered what he told her last week, the two of them would still be here. If not, then they were doomed.   
  
"Pretty sure." 'Omi' agreed, setting the break and turning off the engine. "And I know Aya. He's not gonna follow her to some cheap motel."  
  
"But he's being you!" 'Aya' exclaimed. "He's going to stay in character, even if it means doing something he doesn't like! He won't give away what's happened to us!"  
  
"Shh! Ken-kun!" 'Ken' hissed. "Don't worry. Aya-kun won't do something that'll hurt you or endanger your relationship. I know he won't."  
  
"You sure, Omittichi?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
'Aya' thought about it for a while. "I guess you're right. Why would Aya look at any other woman? He's got me. And besides, I trust him. He's only doing Yohji a favor."  
  
"Good!" 'Omi' exclaimed, unbuckling his seat belt. "Now we got that settled, let's get out of here and catch Aya before my life is ruined!"  
  
The three got out of the car, 'Aya' being the last one. He was still nervous on how his lover would react when he saw what had happened to that Porsche of his. Maybe he should have stayed in the shop and let Aya take care of this date on his own. Maybe if he had done that, everything would be all right.  
  
"Move quietly." 'Omi' whispered. "I don't want him to know we're here!"  
  
"I don't know what I'm doing here!" 'Ken' rolled his eyes. "I don't have a lover on this date! Why did you drag me along?"  
  
"Would you rather take over three shifts at the shop?" 'Aya' asked.  
  
'Ken' shook his head.  
  
"Then?"  
  
"Okay, you win." 'Ken' sighed. "But if Aya-kun gets mad at both of you, do *not* think of pinning any of the blame on me. I'm just a witness."  
  
"Whatever, chibi." 'Yohji' rolled his eyes. His blue eyes scanned the parking lot, in search of his own car. The parking lot was crowded but it wouldn't be hard to spot it. 'Aya' kept examining his nails. ..which technically weren't his. What to do about that car?   
  
*No, I can't worry too much! I'll just tell Aya that someone else scratched it! Yes, that'll work! He'll believe me! He has to believe me!*  
  
Aya loved him. He told him he loved him. And in doing so, he would trust him. As they tried to keep to themselves, they also searched for the real Aya or Yohji's car. Hell, finding Akane would be great too! But so far there was no sign of either one. It was now late afternoon and people were starting to leave. 'Ken' kept reminding them that they had to go back to the shop.  
  
"In case...you know." He dared not mention the fact that Manx could come in with another mission for them.  
  
"In a few more minutes." 'Omi' insisted. "We'll go back then, chibi. I promise."  
  
So few more minutes passed by and they still couldn't catch sight of Aya, Akane, or Yohji's car. Figuring that the redhead (now turned blond) had decided to drop the girl off and then go back to the flower shop, the others gave up and figured it was best to head home.  
  
It would have been okay...if 'Ken' had not spotted two people that they were looking for.  
  
"There they are!" He exclaimed. 'Aya' and 'Omi' squinted to get a better look. Yes, that was 'Yohji' and his date! But from the way she had herself wrapped over him was enough to break Ken's heart and infuriate the real Yohji.  
  
"That bastard!" 'Omi' exclaimed. "What's he doing to my girl?"  
  
As if to respond, Akane kissed 'Yohji'. Instead of resisting, 'Yohji' kissed her back. 'Aya' had never felt so betrayed in his life. 'Omi' seethed in rage while 'Ken' just stood there in horror. Aya...the cold, emotionless Aya Fujimiya...was kissing another person? More importantly, he was kissing Yohji's date? How could he do that after all Ken had done and given to him?   
  
"There has to be an explanation." 'Ken' said, trying to patch everything up. "Aya-kun isn't one to do something like this. Maybe if we stick around and see more..."  
  
"I've seen enough." 'Aya' murmured. "Let's go."  
  
And with his broken heart, he headed back to where the Porsche was and began humming Olivia Newton-John's "Hopelessly Devoted to You" from Grease [3].   
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
[1] I'm pretty sure there's a beach where our guys live cause in episode 7, Omi is looking out at the sea and all these seagulls are flying above him. If I'm wrong, someone tell me.  
  
[2] If I remember correctly, Aya's car does have tinted windows. I've noticed it in episode 6 and 7. Again, if I'm wrong, correct me.  
  
[3] Hee hee hee...I figure that with Ken's new obsession on singing old songs, he'd probably take something like "Hopelessly Devoted to You" and start humming it. Plus I was listening to it and it seemed to go well with this scene.   
  
***  
  
I know the chapter is shorter than usual. I'm sorry, dear readers. Truth is, I now have a cold and my throat aches. Plus I have a lot more worries than usual this time around. I promise though, the next chapter will be better.   
  
As I promised, a costume party! The members of Weiß are dressed as the members of Schwarz and vice versa! Now for some comic relief, after that sad scene, here we will see Weiß wandering in the darkness when Schwarz attacks!  
  
(Cue 'Weiß' wandering in darkness. First we catch sight of a small assassin, wearing an outfit similar to Omi's and holding a crossbow. However, Omi now has telekinetic powers and pushes the door open with his mind. Behind Omi, we catch sight of Yohji...with long reddish hair and smirking grin. He is wearing Yohji's clothes, sunglasses, and smoking a cigarette. Then somebody makes noise. They turn around to find Ken making noise and shoving a bugnuk into a box.)  
  
Ken : Mwuahahahahaha!!!!! Breaking boxes makes God's ears hurt!  
  
Yohji: Farf...I mean, Siberian...keep it down!   
  
Omi: According to my calculations, Schwarz is somewhere here.  
  
Ken: After we hurt them, can we hurt God too?  
  
Yohji (telepathically sends message): Farf, we're supposed to be Weiß, remember? Unlike you, Ken *doesn't* hurt God on a regular basis.  
  
Omi (pushes another door open with mind): Shh! Since I am the smartest member in this group, you better listen to me! Schwarz is here! And Ken-kun, stop trying to hurt God!   
  
Ken: Can I make love to you, Abyssinian? It'll hurt God.  
  
(Enter Aya...who looks bigger and more pissed than usual. Why is he pissed? Cause the author made him trade his Armani suit for a huge trenchcoat that...according to him...is well out of style. Yeah, it's Brad with Aya's red hair and eartails. He even has that shi-ne look on his face.)  
  
Aya:....  
  
Yohji (yawns): So when's this mission gonna be over? I have a date in three minutes!  
  
Omi: Schu! I mean...Yohji-kun! Ah, I mean...Balinese! You just went on two dates today!  
  
Yohji (grins): I can't help it if the ladies find me irresistible. (Lights up another cigarette)  
  
Aya (sighs): I just had a premonition...  
  
Omi: Aya-kun doesn't have premonitions, Brad.  
  
Aya (thinking to himself): I'm going to borrow a page from Aya's book and seriously shi-ne Carter after this is over with.   
  
Yohji (read Brad's mind): Oh, don't lie. You *know* you love dressing up as Abyssinian!   
  
(Suddenly, Schwarz drops in from nowhere. There's a scowling Brad wearing a black wig and an Armani suit, smirking Schuldig in his weird jacket and yellow bandanna, Farf wearing his weird bandages and clothes, and Nagi in his school uniform!)  
  
Omi: It's the Schwarz!   
  
Aya (raises katana): Shi-ne Schwarz! (To himself) Oh my God, I sound so awful when I say that!  
  
Yohji (reads mind again): No, it makes you sound sexy.  
  
Aya (amazed): Really?  
  
Ken: Nyohohohohohohoho! Now we can hurt God!  
  
Farf: Isn't that supposed to be *my* line?   
  
Ken (thinks): You're right. WAHHHH!!!!!!!! KASE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Nagi (looks confused): What are you doing that for?  
  
Ken (pretends to sob): Cause it'll hurt God.  
  
Omi (pissed off): For the hundredth time, Ken *does* not hurt God!  
  
Brad: We've talked enough! Let's fight! (Gets into boxing position)   
  
(Begins fight scene. Of course, Weiß cheats with their...powers! Ken hits Farfie, who suddenly feels pain. Brad can't predict any of Aya's attacks. Schu falls victim to Yohji's mind games. And Nagi keeps getting things flung in his direction by Omi. Nevertheless, there is a huge mess and all four are on the ground.)  
  
Aya: Well that was pretty pointless.  
  
Omi: What do we do now?  
  
Ken: Hurt God?  
  
Schu (glares at him): Other than that!  
  
Brad: How about we hurt Carter instead?  
  
(Author suddenly senses danger)  
  
Me: Uh-oh!  
  
Nagi (grins): Yes...it's because of Carter we're doing this silly thing.  
  
Brad: You dress up like me and make me hurt Ken. Shi-ne Carter.  
  
Farf: I'll help you, love!  
  
Me: Shiiiiit! (To readers) Well, there you go! A completely pointless scene! I swear I'll have more of this later! If I live to write the rest of it that is...(runs off)...more humor later! And don't worry, Ranners stays with Ken forever and ever! (Keeps running as the Weiß and Schwarz follow in hot pursuit.) 


	5. Chapter 4: No, I'm Not the Father! I Jus...

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Chapter 4: No, I'm Not the Father! I Just Came To See My Sister!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Weiß Kruez, you can bet there would more RanKen action on that show. As you can probably see, I don't own it and I'll probably have my own anime/manga before I get a chance to own it.  
  
Summary: During the mission, our boys get knocked out and when they awaken, they find themselves in one another's body! Now Aya's a soccer hooligan, Ken sounds really smart, Omi has too many dates to go on, and Yohji refuses to smile at anyone?! Will they ever fix this mix up before their lives ruined?!  
  
Pairings: *holds up banner that says RANKEN 4-EVER!* Yes, it's a yaoi/shounen-ai/slash! Ran x Ken, in other words. Don't like it, then sucks to be you! Though insanity occurs, you can bet it *ends* a RanKen.  
  
(Okay! This next chapter is going to be Ken-centric (or should I say 'Aya-centric'?). The real Aya (or 'Yohji') won't come back 'til the chapter after this. You will find out what he did on that date in better detail (and no, he did not shi-ne the woman) Yeah, this will be a little angsty and longer because you begged for it. I feel bad for leaving you all with such a short chapter and crappy ending last time. Anyway, remember when I said 'Aya' is going to visit Aya-chan at the hospital? Well, that's what he's gonna do in this chapter. Not as humorous this time around, sorry. Well, hope you enjoyed the Halloween insanity at the end of the last chapter. Now onto the more important stuff)  
  
Thanks to the reviewers (once again, in no order): kamibukurosama, CherubKatan, fei, lorien, Ryia Jen Rowen, Tyrne J, nepcitan (I doubt I spelled that right), and Ayako  
  
***  
  
'Omi' paced around the room, fuming and ready to strangle the real Aya when he came home. He couldn't wait to get his hands on that cold-hearted, two-timing bastard! How could he hurt Ken like that? More importantly, how could he kiss*his* woman? For all he knew, 'Yohji' was probably sleeping with her in some cheap hotel in downtown Tokyo. The more he thought about it, the more 'Omi' wanted to kill him.  
  
'Aya', unlike 'Omi', was quiet. He had been sitting by the table, sipping a cup of tea and not talking to anyone. His Aya...his boyfriend...was kissing another woman! After all Ken had given him, this was how he was repaid. Of course, Ken was no stranger to betrayal. Memories of Kase flooded his mind again when he caught sight of Aya back there at the beach. He didn't think he could trust anyone again until he and Aya fell in love. He just felt so confident when Aya became his lover that the thought of ever being betrayed again went out the window.   
  
*Maybe Omi is right. Maybe there is a good explanation to everything.* He told himself. Aya wasn't a brash young man. He didn't rush into things like Yohji. He wouldn't sleep with a woman he just met even if she gave him a pile of Takatori clones to shi-ne. He'd still destroy the clones but he wouldn't get into bed with her unless he was in some sort of dilemma. So maybe he was in a dilemma when he kissed that woman.  
  
*But what kind of dilemma?* Ken wondered, taking another sip of tea. The hours just seemed to be going much slower this time than ever. *Why would Aya solve a problem by kissing a woman?*  
  
"That bastard." 'Omi' muttered again. The fury in his blue eyes made that cliche "if looks could kill" come to life. He may not have been hurting as bad as Ken but he was very upset. The real Omi ('Ken') tried hard to calm them both down.   
  
"Yohji-kun...Ken-kun..." He began. "Don't get mad. I'd hate to see something like this come between us."  
  
"I know you're thinking of our well being, chibi. But this is between Kenken, his back stabbing boyfriend, and me."   
'Omi' said. "And you can bet I'm not going to rest until I kick Aya's ass."   
  
"There has to be an explanation..." 'Ken' tried once again.  
  
"What explanation, Omittichi?" 'Aya' asked, almost in a whisper. "Aya doesn't love me. Plain and simple."  
  
"That's not true!" 'Ken' exclaimed. "You don't know Aya-kun's side of the story, do you? And for all you know, that may not even *be* Aya-kun! Maybe it was another person with blond hair. (Thank you soooo much, fei.)"  
  
"Well, whoever he is, he just got himself into some deep shit!" 'Omi' muttered. "Son of a bitch..."  
  
"It *was* Aya...or Yohji...or whoever. I can tell that's him from a far distance." 'Aya' insisted. "What do I do, guys? I still love him even if he did kiss that other girl. How am I supposed to confront him?"  
  
"You don't. You just him give a good one in the jaw and another in the balls for being a backstabber!" 'Omi' snapped.   
  
"Oh, Yohji-kun, you make me look so bad when you say that." 'Ken' moaned. Then he turned to 'Aya'. "Just be honest. Tell him what you saw and hear him out before making any conclusions. I guarantee it'll make life a lot easier if you knew both sides of the story."  
  
"You serious, Omittichi?"  
  
"Very. Aya-kun *will* be honest with you if you're honest with him. That's the way he works."  
  
'Aya' thought about it, then smiled for the hundredth time that day. "You know, Omittichi, you're very smart."  
  
"That's why I'm the brains of this operation." 'Ken' joked. "Honestly, what would you three do without me?"  
  
"Suffer." 'Omi' said and the three of them laughed. Aya had a very nice laugh too. Ken realized this when he heard himself. Oh sure, he heard Aya chuckle now and then but quickly that would disappear. His laughter was musical and sweet. He needed to laugh more often.   
  
"You know, I was just thinking." 'Omi' broke up the happy little moment. "I'm pretty sure Manx is going to come in with a mission sooner or later. What if we haven't switched back into our normal bodies by then? Does this mean I have to learn how to throw genki darts at the targets or something? "  
  
"Genki darts?!" 'Ken' felt offended.   
  
"No, I'm serious. It's gonna be weird trying to kill people the way Omi does."  
  
"You're right." 'Aya' murmured. "I don't know how to use a katana. Even if I learned, I still probably wouldn't able to use it as skillfully as Aya. I guess we'll have to cross our fingers and hope we don't die on a mission."  
  
"What about Kritiker?" 'Ken' suggested. "Don't you think we should tell *them* at least? I'm sure they may come up with a solution to our problem."  
  
"What if they don't have a solution?" 'Aya' asked.   
  
"Then we're screwed." 'Omi' sighed. "No more cigarettes, no more dates, nothing. I'm gonna be a twenty-two year old stuck in a seventeen-year old body forever."  
  
"Nevertheless, we have to tell Kritiker sooner or later." 'Ken' suggested, ignoring 'Omi's' last remark. "We can't hide something like this from them."  
  
"*If* they ever come in." 'Aya' reminded him. He caught a quick glance at the clock on the wall. "Hey, isn't this the time that Aya normally goes to visit his sister at the hospital?"  
  
"You're right." 'Omi' agreed. "If you want, I can drop you off there."  
  
'Aya' looked so unsure. "Really, Yohji, I don't want you to get in trouble for being under-aged and driving. Maybe I *should* try getting behind the wheel again..."  
  
'Omi' snorted. "The hell I'm letting *you* drive, Kenken! You're the one who left that precious scratch on Aya's Porsche in case you forgot."  
  
The truth was, Ken *had* forgotten about the scratch. It was because of what he saw at the beach. He'd been worrying Aya and the girl so much, he didn't remember the little incident with the Porsche. They still had to solve that problem before Aya found out and possibly killed Ken, lover or not.   
  
"Ah...oh yeah. About that, what do you think we should do?"   
  
"Pray that Aya never notices?"  
  
"Other than that."  
  
"I'm sure we can find someone to cover up that scratch, Ken-kun." 'Ken' suggested. "And Aya-kun won't get mad at you for something like that."  
  
"Excuse me?!" 'Aya' violet eyes widened, the first time either one ever saw that happen. "Not get mad at me for taking out his Porsche without asking him and then leaving a scratch on it? I beg to differ, Omittichi."  
  
"Well, are you gonna go see her or not?" 'Omi' asked.   
  
'Aya' thought about it for a while. He did want to talk to someone else about Aya other than the guys. True, Aya-chan couldn't give him any advice but she'd still listen while she was asleep. And anyway, she was probably bored listening to her brother. It was time for her to hear from someone else.   
  
"Yeah, I'm going." 'Aya' decided.   
  
"I'll look after the shop until Yohji-kun comes back." 'Ken' said. "If Aya-kun comes back, I'll keep him distracted."  
  
"And if he tries to escape, give a good one in the nuts, chibi." 'Omi' added before heading out with 'Aya'. Poor 'Ken' looked confused and disgusted at the same time. 'Aya' began thinking about his lover again as he and 'Omi' went to Magic Bus Hospital together [1]. What exactly *did* Aya say to his sister when he visited her? Or did he ever talk to her at all? How could Ken keep himself in character and at the same time, say what he wanted to say to a comatose girl that he never knew all too well?   
  
"Don't worry about the Porsche, Kenken." 'Omi' said as they came closer to Magic Bus. "We'll think of something."  
  
"Oh, it's not that!" 'Aya' said. "Just thinking about Aya..."  
  
"That bastard again?" 'Omi' frowned.   
  
"Don't call him that!" Ken defended his lover. Aya *may* have hurt him but that didn't give Yohji the right to say anything nasty. If he hadn't been in Omi's body at that moment, Ken probably would have socked him right then and there. "Aya's not a player, Yohji. Omi's right, he's got to have a good explanation behind everything."  
  
"Whatever." 'Omi' rolled his eyes as he slowed down in front of the hospital and then stopped completely. "So when do you want me to pick you up? Or do you want to come home on your own?"  
  
"Give me an hour and half. That should be good enough to visit Aya-chan." 'Aya' said. *And avoid Aya.* He added silently to himself.   
  
"Sure. Later, Kenken." With that, 'Omi' drove off. 'Aya' prayed that he wouldn't get caught by someone and then questioned about why a teenager like him was driving a fancy car. Then he entered the hospital.  
  
It wasn't until he got inside that he realized he had no idea where Aya-chan's room was.  
  
*Great! Just great!* 'Aya' scolded himself. *You don't even know where she is, baka. And you can't ask anyone cause they'll think you're stupid or something. I mean, Aya comes regularly to visit her so someone will think something happened to him if I asked where she was. I guess I'll have to find her on my own.*  
  
Finding Aya-chan in the midst of the huge hospital did not turn out to be an easy task. 'Aya' wandered from top to bottom, occasionally peeking into rooms to see if there was a comatose teenage girl in one of them. Luckily, he *knew* how Aya-chan looked like. His lover had shown him pictures of the girl few weeks before the horrible deaths of his parents and the accident that left her where she was. She was beautiful like her brother. Long dark hair, soft cerulean eyes, and creamy skin...a lovely contrast to her brother with his red hair and violet eyes. The more Ken looked at that picture, the harder he found it to believe that this poor girl was in a coma.   
  
*I have to find her somehow.* 'Aya' told himself. *Even if it takes me the whole hour and half...which I hope it doesn't.*  
  
Further and further, 'Aya' (Ken) ventured into the hospital. He found empty rooms and full rooms. There were rooms with adults occupying them and rooms with children in it. More than anything, he wanted to go visit them since he loved children and keeping them entertained. He then remembered he had to coach soccer to the kids today.  
  
*I can't do that! Omi has to take over!* He realized. Poor Omi. The boy wasn't the world's greatest soccer player. In fact, as much as Ken hated to admit it, he sucked. The kids would notice the difference. He only hoped that a miracle would take place and make Omi a good player for just an hour.   
  
Meanwhile, his own search was leading nowhere. He still had to find Aya-chan. Perhaps, if he had free time, he could stop by and say 'hi' to some of those children there. The next couple of rooms had no children in it. Just as he was about to give up and ask someone, he heard a scream coming from one of them as if someone was being murdered. His assassin instincts kicking in, he ran over to that room. Another blood curdling scream pierced the air and he finally knew what room it was coming from.   
  
"What's going on here?!" He demanded. True, he did not have his bugnuks, but that didn't mean he couldn't put up a good fight.   
  
Several doctors, nurses, and the screaming woman on the bed who was trying to give birth to baby looked at him.   
  
"Are you the father?" One of them asked.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" The woman asked before screaming again and pushing. Ken turned away, his face bright red.  
Now he felt like the idiot of the century. So the woman was going into labor. How could he interrupt such an important moment like this?   
  
"I'm not the father!" He yelled. "I'm just trying to find Aya Fujimiya's room! I'm so sorry."  
  
"Aya Fujimiya? The girl in the coma?" Someone else asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"She's one floor above this room. Exactly above. You've come to the maternity ward."  
  
"Oh...thank you. Sorry for the inconvenience." Walking slowly away from the screaming woman, he went upstairs. That was the most brilliant thing he had ever done. Poor woman. He only hoped that the delivery would be a good one. Oh well. At least none of them thought he was stupid for asking Aya Fujimiya was.  
  
*That's cause they think I'm stupid enough to burst in on a woman delivering a baby.* 'Aya' realized with a groan. He finally made his way to where Aya-chan supposedly was and this time, he got lucky.  
  
"There you are." He whispered. "I've been looking everywhere for you."  
  
If Aya-chan heard him, she didn't answer or move. Except for the beeping of the machines hooked up to her, there was no other noise in that room. Her eyes shut, her black braids falling down to her shoulders, she was the perfect picture of broken innocence. No signs of waking up, no signs of dying...just peacefully sleeping on that bed as the world passed her by. She had been sleeping for much too long.   
  
"Hi, Aya-chan." 'Aya' whispered, sitting in a chair next to the bed. "You probably don't know me but I heard a lot about you. Yeah, I look like your brother but technically, I'm not."  
  
Aya-chan remained still and 'Aya' continued. He had heard that talking to comatose people often bought them out of their sleep. Maybe today he would get lucky.   
  
"You see, my name is Ken and I've somehow switched bodies with your brother. He's my lover...yes, he's gay. I wonder if you ever knew that."  
  
Still no response.  
  
"Anyway, that's not exactly why I'm here. It's your brother, Aya-chan. I love him so much. It's true. I would do anything to make Aya happy as I'm sure you would. I thought...I thought he would do the same for me. But now I'm not sure anymore." 'Aya' sighed. It was good thing Aya-chan wasn't awake or she'd see how red he had turned, worse than when he interrupted that poor woman in the delivery room. "You see, Aya-chan, I caught him with another person. A woman. He was kissing her. Not a simple kiss on the cheek either, lip lock. Needless to say, my heart is now broken. I should confront him but I'm so scared. I still love him. I always have. But does he love me anymore? I mean, what do you think? He *is* your brother."  
  
It was kind of foolish to ask Aya-chan a question she most likely wasn't going to answer. So 'Aya' kept on talking. "I don't know what to do now, Aya-chan. I really don't. I don't want to lose Aya but I can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't love me. I've been hurt one too many times already. Omi...that may be someone else you don't know, he's the guy in my body right now...suggested that I be honest to him and he'll be honest in return. I suppose that's the only thing I can do, huh?"  
  
No answer, not even a flicker of an eyelid. However, 'Aya' did feel better letting someone else know what was going on, even if that someone else wasn't awake. He decided to go ahead and take Omi's advice. Whatever happened had an explanation behind it. He'd have to hear Aya's side of the story. Getting up, he stroked Aya-chan's soft black hair.  
  
"Thanks for listening to me, Aya-chan. I know you can't answer back but I know you heard me and that's more important. I know you're confused the body switch like I am but I promise you, your *real* brother will come visit you again soon. Maybe he'll let you know how everything turned out between us."  
  
Silence answered him once again.   
  
"Hey, want me to sing to you?" 'Aya' suddenly said. "The guys said they would shoot me if I sang anymore. But you don't mind, right?"  
  
Since Aya didn't wake up and protest, Ken began to sing.   
  
"Sometimes you can't help yourself. Sometimes, you gotta take off and fly. I may be getting older but every now and then. I sit up in bed and I wonder why. [2]" He sang very softly. He couldn't tell whether Aya-chan enjoyed it but he knew she was listening still.   
  
"I never thought I'd feel so confused. Never felt like I'd be thrown away so fast. But I guess it would happen sometime soon. And happy moments become a part of the past. Losing you wasn't something I was proud of. I'm still hoping you're the shadow behind me. My life is a mess and I've hit the cold ground. So won't you step back in and try to find me?"  
  
"Very nice." A familiar voice spoke up from behind. "You *do* have a beautiful voice."  
  
Ken stopped singing and turned around with fear. Standing in the doorway was none other than Aya Fujimiya (or Yohji) himself.   
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
[1] I hope I'm right on this. Aya's sister is in Magic Bus Hospital, right? (For the beginning half, of course)  
  
[2] I...believe it or not...wrote that song. Yes, I wrote it. It's called "Every Now and Then" and it's on my profile so if anyone wants to check it out, go ahead! See my crappy songwriting skills!  
  
(And I know you hate me for leaving you at a cliffhanger like this. The next chapter will have Aya x Ken reuniting as well as Omi playing soccer with kids-_-0. Forgive me for the stupid ending last time readers. I was on something...god knows what cause I ended up making a Brad x Farf without knowing it. Anyway, hope you all had a good Halloween. I was up there, yelling "Take something or get out!" to the kids. (Okay, I didn't really yell that). Review and no flames please. The flames don't help whatsoever. The whole deal with the Porsche will also be resolved later.)  
  
Sorry if I'm not my cheerful self. Had an argument with my family and I have school worries to top that off with. Hopefully, this chapter won't bore you guys. I was supposed to work on my original anime/manga but ended up working on this instead. Enjoy! 


	6. Chapter 5: Okay, Why Does My Car Smell L...

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Chapter 5: Okay, Why Does My Car Smell Like Smoke?  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiß Kruez. Why haven't I made this disclaimer as interesting as the others? Cause I'm tired and I'm running out of ideas, that's why.  
  
Summary: During a wonderful mission, our boys get knocked out. When they awaken, they see they have switched bodies! (Oh, the horror!) Now Aya loves soccer and kids, Ken likes old people for some strange reason, Omi likes women, and Yohji...suddenly likes money and hates Takatori? Oh, the horror! The horror!  
  
Pairings: RanKen forever and ever. There I said it. Despite the weirdness of my story, it stays RanKen!  
  
(Okay, some apologies. I am a baka. No, I'm not kidding. I'm a baka. I cannot believe I confused you readers and MYSELF, the author, with this story! Keeshe Kaldaka and fei were quick to point out a mistake in my fic, which I *did* fix. I forgot the boys had switched bodies! I thought Aya was back in his old body! Ah, stupid me! Thank you, fei and Keeshe Kaldaka, I owe you big! I can't believe I got confused with my own story! If that doesn't label me as a world class baka, I don't know what does. I'm sorry, dear readers. When you have three fics (including this), school, family, social life, love life, and everything else in between getting in the way, it's hard to stay in order.)  
  
To my readers:  
  
Keeshe Kaldaka and fei: Thanks, girls. Really. You kept me from looking like a bigger fool than I already am. I promise to start "WSIR" sequel "The Gift" (yes, the lemon) soon for you. (Keeshe, I'm still waiting to see the drawing that you were supposed to make of "WSIR".)  
  
Amber: Thanks for the review. Um...about Aya-chan's hair...it looks blacker to me than purple. (I'm going anime color here). Of course, I have seen pictures where it looks kind of blue but I think it's just the animation. I wish Weiß didn't have weird animation. I may also have really bad vision too. I don't know. But for the sake of the fic, let's just say her hair is black. I just don't see it as purple.  
  
Thanks to the rest of you as well: lorien, CherubKatan, Ayako, Fiorespere, siberian, Ryia Jen Rowen, ionis, and kamibukurosama (Yes, Aya has an awesome voice but not as cool as Ken's! "Sweet Nothing" is one of my favorite songs. He sounds so amazing.)  
  
Now, without further ado, Baka of the Year will continue the rest of this fic...  
  
***  
  
'Omi' had been driving around in the Porsche for a while. He didn't feel like going back to Koneko right away. Who knew, maybe 'Aya' decided to not spend the entire hour and half there. Besides, 'Ken' could take care of things at the shop by himself. And 'Omi' was longing for some nicotine.  
  
*Should I? The chibi will get mad...* He thought to himself, looking at an old cigarette pack that he had stashed away in his room. He knew he probably would get caught buying cigarettes because now he was under-aged, damn the real Omi Tsukiyono. And the past few hours had been pure hell! No smoking? How did everyone expect him to go through a day without *one* tiny cigarette? It wouldn't hurt Omi's body *that* much. One cigarette wouldn't do worth shit to him.  
  
"To hell with this." 'Omi' muttered, parking the car and opening the cigarette pack. Oh, those beautiful white cylinders all neatly lined up in that box...how he missed them! The way they smelled was heaven to him. Screw what Omi said. He was having one.  
  
"One cigarette won't destroy your body, chibi." 'Omi' murmured, putting a cigarette in his mouth and holding it tight between his teeth. Taking his lighter, he lit it and took a quick puff. Ah, he felt much better now! He opened the window a little but not enough for anyone to take a look at him. Yes, one cigarette wouldn't hurt Omi. It couldn't.  
  
*And the chibi will never know.* 'Omi' thought as he drove away, cigarette still clamped between his teeth. Now things were looking better for him.  
  
***  
  
"Yohji...I mean, Aya...love, what are you doing here?!" 'Aya' stammered. He was not ready to confront Aya about everything yet. How did this moment come so fast? He still didn't know how to explain the scratch on the car or how he felt about that girl.  
  
"I came to visit Aya-chan. What else?" 'Yohji' replied simply, entering the room. "Why are you here?"  
  
"Um...I'm supposed to be you, remember? I came to visit Aya-chan the way you would. I tried to stay in character as much as possible."  
  
'Yohji' nodded. "And I hear you made quite a stir in the maternity ward."  
  
'Aya' blushed. "You heard about that?"  
  
"News travels fast, Ken."  
  
"I wasn't trying to make you look like an idiot." 'Aya' confessed. "In truth, I didn't know where Aya-chan's room was. I figured you come visit her regularly and I had to do the same. But I had to find her room."  
  
"Why didn't you ask anyone for help?"  
  
"Cause...you never asked anyone and...I didn't want to look stupid?"  
  
"Yet you did anyway by bursting into a room where a woman was delivering a baby."  
  
"Sorry." 'Aya' murmured, looking down. 'Yohji' felt a little pity, took one hand, and lifted 'Aya's' (or technically, his own) chin.   
  
"It's okay. I forgive you." He whispered. Then he tried to move in for a kiss. 'Aya', remembering what happened, pulled away quickly. It was hard to kiss someone who had put his lips on someone else.  
  
"What's wrong?" 'Yohji' asked, growing disappointed. "Are you still upset over the fact that you're kissing Yohji instead of me?"  
  
"A little. But that's not the main reason." 'Aya' sighed. "You see, koi, I caught you...with another woman. You were kissing her and it hurt watching you do that. How could you do that?"  
  
'Yohji' raised an eyebrow but didn't look surprised or deny anything. "Are you talking about Yohji's date? I was only kissing her because that's what he would do. Not to mention she was the one who kissed *me*, not vice versa."  
  
"Oh." 'Aya' felt a little relieved. "But where is she now?"  
  
"Home." 'Yohji' said. "She wanted to do something more...I refused. I drove her straight home, despite her protests. I'm not in love with her. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize the relationship I have with you."  
  
"So you were only doing Yohji a favor?"  
  
"Just like I promised." 'Yohji' nodded.  
  
"Makes sense." 'Aya' forgave him. "I'm sorry, koi. I got carried away. I should know better."  
  
"You should know better than to interrupt the birth of a baby, to think that I would ever cheat on you, and to spy on me when I clearly did not *want* you around. I thought you trusted me." 'Yohji' frowned.   
  
"I do! Really! But..." 'Aya' paused. His boyfriend had a point. How could he ever *think* Aya was cheating on him?  
"Ah, I guess I got scared of you leaving me."  
  
"It won't happen. I promise." 'Yohji' tried kissing him again but 'Aya' pulled away.   
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." 'Aya' apologized. "I can't kiss you while you're in Yohji's body, koi. It just doesn't feel right."  
  
"So what are we going to do about this?"  
  
"We can't do anything until we're back in our old bodies." 'Aya' shrugged. "It feels wrong, knowing that it may be *you* inside but it's Yohji on the outside."  
  
"I understand." 'Yohji' tried hard to hide his feelings but 'Aya' could see he was hurt. "Let's go now."  
  
"Uh...don't you want to visit your sister?"  
  
'Yohji' looked over at the sleeping Aya-chan. "That's not my sister. I'm Yohji, remember? You're Aya and you've already visited her."  
  
"Um...true." 'Aya' nodded. "Okay, then. Let's go. Bye, Aya-chan!" He turned to the girl on the bed before heading out the door. 'Yohji' said nothing but followed his boyfriend. Neither one noticed that sunlight, pouring through the window, fell upon Aya-chan's sleeping face and made it appear as though she was smiling. The two had finally fixed whatever problems they had.  
  
***  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow, Omi-kun!" The fifth girl that 'Omi' had just asked out cooed. He couldn't believe his good luck. Now he could date women *under* eighteen. Of course, most of them were impressed how cool he was being. 'Omi' figured that the real Omi Tsukiyono never acted this way.  
  
*But for now, I'm him and I'm going make him appealing to *all* these lovely ladies!* 'Omi' thought with a grin, his now blue eyes twinkling. The girl giggled and waved at him as he headed back towards the Porsche. So being in Omi's body wasn't half as bad as he thought.  
  
"I'm a very lucky man." 'Omi' chuckled, lighting up his sixth cigarette before getting into the Porsche again (making sure no one saw him, of course!) and driving off. Six cigarettes weren't going to harm his body. And it's not like Omi would find out anyway.  
  
***  
  
"Mou!" 'Ken' exclaimed when he saw what time it was. "Ken-kun has soccer practice in an hour! I better get going!"  
  
But he couldn't go anywhere until 'Aya', 'Yohji', or 'Omi' came back. They had been gone for quite some time now and he was getting worried. Did 'Aya' resolve his problems with 'Yohji'? Had 'Omi' been caught driving the Porsche? Or worse…did 'Yohji' find the scratch that 'Aya' had left on his precious car, thus harming his lover?   
  
*Poor Ken-kun.* 'Ken' pitied him. That was it. He couldn't wait for anyone to come back. After telling Momoe to look after the shop for a while (which she was more than happy to do), he left the shop and headed straight for where the field was. Unlike Ken, who had no idea where Aya-chan's room had been, Omi knew where Ken played with the kids.   
  
"Ken-san! Ken-san!" All the little boys exclaimed when 'Ken' approached the field. 'Ken' gulped. These weren't children, they were monsters! [1]  
  
"Hi, there!" He greeted them, trying to be as cool as Ken was. "Um…you guys ready to play?"  
  
"Yeah!" They all responded.   
  
*Great. I'm not that good at soccer.* 'Ken' remembered. It was true. He either kicked the ball too hard or he didn't kick it hard enough. He failed to make goals except for one time…and he made the goal for the other team. Needless to say, his classmates were not too happy with him when they saw what he had done.   
  
"Oh…okay." 'Ken' nodded. He took the ball from one of the little boys and tried to dribble it. "Split yourselves into teams."  
  
"Um…Ken-san?" One boy asked, looking confused.  
  
"Yes?" 'Ken' asked, a little worried. *What have I done wrong now?*  
  
"Aren't we s'pose to practice dribbling and kicking first?"   
  
*We are?* 'Ken' wondered. Then he nodded. If this was the way Ken held practice, then it was best he do things right. "Um…sure. Go ahead and practice, kids."  
  
"Play with me, Ken-san!" They all screamed at once.  
  
*I'm in hell.* 'Ken' realized as they all came forward and 'attacked' him, laughing and screaming in his ear. This was going to be one *very* long practice.   
  
***  
  
"I'm walking on sunshine! Whoa whoa!" 'Aya' began singing to the radio and grooving to the radio. He had called 'Omi' to tell him that he had found 'Yohji' and was now headed back with him to Koneko. 'Omi' didn't seem mad with the whole thing; in fact, he sounded a little *too* happy. He had turned on the radio to his favorite station and was singing with Katrina and the Waves.   
  
"I'm walking on sunshine! Whoa whoa! I'm walking on sunshine! Whoa whoa! I'm walking on sunshine! Whoa whoa! And does it feel good! Yeah!" 'Aya' belted out, smiling too much yet again. Next to him, 'Yohji' glared at him.   
  
"I thought we were supposed to stay in character." He said.  
  
"I'm sorry but I have to break out of it now." 'Aya' grinned before going back to the song. "I feel alive, I'm feeling love, I feel the love, it's really real![2]"  
  
"Ken…"  
  
"I feel alive, I'm feeling love, I feel the love, it's really real!"  
  
"Ken…"  
  
"I feel alive, I'm feeling love, I feel the love, it's really real!"  
  
"Ken…" Now 'Yohji's' patience reached the limit.  
  
"I'm on sunshine, baby, whoa! Oh, I'm on sunshine, baby, whoa!"  
  
"Will you shut up already?!" 'Yohji' snapped, turning off the radio. 'Aya' pouted and sank back in his seat.  
  
"Hey! I like that song!"  
  
"I'm trying to say something to you." 'Yohji' got out. "Now how did Yohji drive you to the hospital?"  
  
Dun dun dun! The moment of truth-telling had arrived! Now he'd have to go back into how 'Omi' tried to teach him to drive the Porsche and how he ran over that box and how he got somehow got a scratch on the precious car. He gulped.  
  
"Um…you see, koi…"  
  
"He took my car, didn't he?"  
  
"Uh…"  
  
"I knew it!" 'Yohji' looked ready to shi-ne someone, which was a strange look on him. 'Aya' felt the lump in his throat sliding down to his stomach. If this was how 'Yohji' felt about *taking* the car out for a drive, he certainly didn't want to see what would happen when his lover saw that scratch.  
  
"We had to go somehow and I can't drive…" 'Aya' began.  
  
"It's okay. You're not the one I plan to kill when I get home."  
  
*Oh, but you will when you see what I did.* 'Aya' answered back silently, turning the radio back on. It was only a matter of time before his life came to an abrupt end. He only hoped 'Omi' and 'Ken' had a plan to fix that scratch before Aya saw it or else he could kiss the rest of his days goodbye.  
  
***  
  
"One more game, Ken-san!"  
  
"No!" 'Ken' moaned on the ground. Oh, this was hell all right. The kids beat him every single time. Some were curious as to why 'Ken-san' was doing so horrible. Memory of that school soccer game came back when 'Ken' shot a goal for the wrong team. Those kids adored him now, the others were upset.  
  
"Ken-san, that was the other team! How could you score for the other team?"  
  
"Yeah! Thanks a lot, Ken-san!" The other team was cheering.  
  
*Why me?* 'Ken' asked himself as the little kids from the other team pulled him back up to his feet and then tackled him down again.   
  
***  
  
"He he he…Omi will never know." 'Omi' chuckled to himself as he finished is cigarette and popped a breath mint in his mouth. He was glad to break the rules. He got to smoke and he got a date with seven girls under eighteen. By Monday, Omi Tsukiyono would be one of the popular kids in school.  
  
"You will thank me for this, chibi." 'Omi' said as he parked the Porsche in front of the Koneko. No one was here yet so he was safe. No one would ever know what he did, least of all Omi.  
  
***  
  
"We're back!" 'Aya' exclaimed, opening the door to the Koneko. Behind him, a scowling 'Yohji' followed. They found 'Omi' chilling by the counter, smiling and helping out another girl.   
  
"Hey!" 'Omi' greeted them. The girl was about to question why 'Aya' looked cheerful but chose not to. "Have fun, Aya-kun?"  
  
"Yeah." 'Aya' nodded.  
  
"How about you, Yohji-kun?"  
  
'Yohji' muttered some unintelligible. The girl said goodbye to the boys and then 'Yohji' decided to talk about what was wrong.  
  
"You took my car out." He accused 'Omi'.  
  
"Yeah and you took mine. What's wrong?"  
  
"I didn't *say* you could take my car out."  
  
"Well, I needed to get around somehow." 'Omi' shrugged. "It's boring staying in the shop all day long."  
  
"Um…Aya?" 'Aya' began. "Let's not…"  
  
"My car better be in good condition, Yohji." 'Yohji' continued, getting a shi-ne look on his face. 'Aya' gulped for the thirteenth time. He and 'Omi' exchanged glances, remembering the scratch.  
  
"Oh, it is! Really!" 'Omi' lied. Before 'Yohji' could continue his interrogation, 'Ken' wandered into the shop. His dark hair was covered with mud and he looked like he had been hit with giant mud ball.  
  
"Omi?!" 'Aya' exclaimed. "What happened to you?!"  
  
'Ken' gave him a venomous glare. "I will never, ever, *ever* play with those kids again. Never!"  
  
"Ah, that's right. You were supposed to play with the kids today, huh? So did you have fun?"  
  
'Ken' twitched. "Fun? Fun?! You call being tackled by little kids twenty times in one day *fun*? It's hell, Ken-kun!"  
  
"Sorry to hear that, chibi." 'Omi' said, trying hard not to snicker. "But you came out of it alive."  
  
"Speaking of coming out of things alive", 'Yohji' fumed, "I want to see my car. Now!"  
  
"Um, koi, that's not a good idea!" 'Aya' tried to stop him. 'Yohji' simply pushed him aside. The other two tried to help out.  
  
"Come on, don't you trust me?" 'Omi' asked.  
  
"No!" 'Yohji' snapped.   
  
"Gee, thanks." 'Omi' muttered sarcastically.  
  
"Really, Aya-kun…Yohji-kun…or whoever you are, is it necessary?" 'Ken' asked. "I mean, look at it tomorrow."  
  
"I am going to see it now." 'Yohji' said pushing the door open and heading out to where 'Omi' had parked the Porsche. The others tried to slow him down. 'Aya' knew doom had finally approached.  
  
But to his amazement, 'Yohji' just opened the car and peered inside.   
  
"Everything seems in order." He said. Then he frowned. "But why does my car smell like cigarette smoke?"  
  
He and 'Aya' both turned around to find a frightened 'Omi' getting ready to be attacked by a now furious 'Ken'.  
  
***  
  
[1] I'm pretty sure Kenken plays soccer with boys more than he does with girls. If I'm wrong, let me know.  
  
[2] I may be off on the lyrics. I was listening to this song as I was driving down the road and I pictured Kenken singing it^^. If I'm off, cut me slack.   
  
(I decided to spend a little more time on Yohji and Omi here, seeing that I have been ignoring them both in the recent chapters. I guess writing Ken is far easier for me than anyone else and since Aya is with him, I had to give him attention too. I'm sorry the apology/forgiveness scene seems so rushed but I didn't want to drag it out forever. I have a lot of things for this story. I'm still contemplating whether Sakura will make an appearance or not. Unlike "WSIR", this one takes place over many days, not one. (Those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, "WSIR" is "Wanting Something in Return", my first WK fic that is also a RanKen.) So you can bet this will be longer. Well, Ken lives to fight for another hour...because Yohji is doomed. Who'll kill him first, the real Omi or the real Aya? Stay tuned.)  
  
In terms of future projects (in case anyone cares):  
  
"The Gift"- sequel to "WSIR" with its lemony twist~_^ I know, I promised I work on this FIRST but I had no idea where to start! As you can see, that's why I'm on "Switch" right now. This one will most likely be started mid-December. It makes sense considering that's when the fic does take place (or close to it).  
  
"Dead Zone"- the other preview I showed you guys at the end of "WSIR". Another RanKen, AU, romance, angst, stars Aya-chan, based off Stephen King's "The Dead Zone". This will be started Mar.-Apr. 2003.  
  
"Okay to Cry"- one shot, angst/romance RanKen. You will all hate me for this cause it's a deathfic. Will be started Jan 2003 (hopefully I'll have it up on Jan 12th, my birthday^^)  
  
"Untitled Brad x Schu"- yeah, my first Schwarz centered fic. For a contest. Some angst/romance, Brad x Schu. Will be started Jan-Feb 2003.  
  
And if anyone wants to know of my original stuff, they'll be updated whenever I have time.  
  
Yay! I managed to keep everyone straight! Of course, if you see me being stupid again, let me know and I'll fix it. 


	7. Chapter 6: Augh! Stubby Fingers, Tiny To...

Switch  
  
Chapter 6: Augh! Stubby Fingers, Tiny Toes, and No Sex Appeal!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
  
Disclaimer: *evil laugh* I did it! I did it! I own Weiss Kruez! I even have the copyright papers! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (Holds them up only to find out they are the political science papers that were due two years ago) WTF? They tricked me! Those *censored* dudes in the alley tricked me! So there you go, it *still* isn't mine! *sobs*  
  
Summary: Ah…this again. Knocked out during a mission, our bishies wake up to find themselves switch in one another's body. Now Aya is amazed at how smart he sounds, Ken puts "-kun" at the end of everyone's name, Omi has seven dates to go on, and Yohji is about to kill both Omi and Aya for *censored* up his car. The insanity, the horror, blah blah blah!  
  
Pairings: Need I say it again? RANKEN 4-ever! Of course! True, I play around a lot (and get stupidly confused though I'm the author) but it stays RanKen cause I like it that way!  
  
(Ah, welcome back! I'm so glad I didn't royally screw up the last chapter unlike before. Carter no baka…sorry, I'm still pissed off at myself for that. Anyway, enough yelling at myself, onto some notes! When we last left off (And I think I forgot to put "TBC" at the end of the last chapter but I think you can tell it wasn't over), 'Aya'(Ken) and 'Yohji'(Aya) made up. 'Omi' (Yohji) broke the rules by smoking and making one too many dates. 'Ken' (Omi) had to play soccer with children of the devil and came back looking like hell himself. Now 'Yohji' went to see what happened to the Porsche, unaware that his lover has left a horrible scratch on the back. As 'Aya' nears his doom, he is amazed when 'Yohji' goes to the front and sees things are fine…except the whole place smells like smoke. Now 'Ken' is ready to attack 'Omi' and 'Yohji' will most likely kill 'Aya' once he sees the scratch. And this is where the next chapter begins.)  
  
BTW, for all who read the previews at the end of "WSIR", this is where that little part comes in…you know, stubby legs and 'Ken' talking all smart? Yeah, this will be here. Manx makes an appearance and boys get a mission. (Dun dun dun!)  
  
Thanks to the wonderful reviewers:  
  
Keeshe Kaldaka (hears hoping your scanner works soon), amber, jenny, F.Yuki (I can never get your entire name, I'm so sorry!), lorien, Taline, Ryia Jen Rowen, Cherub Katan, fei, and kamibukurosama (yes, Aya and Ken sound even better when they sing "Bosanova Casanova"! That song has a nice beat to it and they are awesome!)  
  
And now, I shall begin from where I left off…  
  
***  
  
*I'm off the hook!* 'Aya' let out a sigh as he watched himself advance closer to 'Omi' in a menacing way. It was funny, considering that 'Ken' was still dirty from his hellish game with the kids. It made him look more like monster now. 'Omi' turned red and looked away.  
  
"You're not going to hurt yourself, are you?" 'Omi' asked. "I mean, this *is* your body…"  
  
"Yohji-kun, didn't I tell you that you could *not* smoke while you were in my body?" 'Ken' began in a soft and sweet voice that almost made 'Omi' wet himself.  
  
"Yes." 'Omi' spoke up in a high, scared voice. He may be older than 'Ken' technically but he wasn't in his old body anymore. 'Omi' could…and most likely would… hurt him.  
  
"Didn't I say that I didn't want you to destroy my body with your filthy habits?"  
  
"Yes." Time was running out.  
  
"And what did you do?"  
  
"I couldn't help it!" 'Omi' confessed. He was almost ready to break down. "I had a craving! It's not fair, chibi! Do you know how_"  
  
"No, and I don't care!" 'Ken' snapped. 'Omi' diverted his gaze to the ground. 'Aya' shuddered, getting closer to 'Yohji' for some protection. It was kind of chilling to see him acting so uncharacteristically angry. "I told you there was to be absolutely NO smoking while we were switched! You broke the rules!"  
  
"Not only that, you were smoking in my car." 'Yohji' took the moment to speak.   
"You took it without my permission and you were smoking in it."  
  
"Okay, okay! I did smoke in it! But I had only one…"  
  
"Too many." 'Yohji' finished off. "You had one too many. I found six cigarette butts in here."  
  
"Six?!" 'Ken' exploded. "Not one but six?! Yohji-kun!"  
  
"I'm sorry!" 'Omi' apologized, putting his hands to his head. "I didn't think it would matter. And besides, I'm not the only who broke rules today. Ken scratched up Aya's car!"  
  
*No!* 'Aya' gulped. That bastard Yohji! How could he rat on him like that?! Everything was going fine until he decided to mention that lovely incident again. He sent a death glare at 'Omi's' direction. 'Omi' sent him a look back that read 'If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me, Hidaka!'[1] Time had finally come.  
  
'Yohji' turned to 'Aya' and gave him a death glare, something weird to see on Yohji's face especially if one was up close like 'Aya' was.   
  
"Is that true?" He demanded.  
  
"I…um…" 'Aya's' stomach turned to ice. This was not how he wanted to make his confession. Thank God 'Yohji' didn't have his katana (or wire, depending on whether he wanted to remain in character on missions or not) at that moment.  
  
"Is that true? Did you leave a scratch on my car?"  
  
"It was an accident…"  
  
"You didn't answer my question. Did you or did you not leave a scratch on my car?" 'Yohji' growled. The scene made them look like a father scolding his son rather than a lover scolding his lover.  
  
'Aya' lowered his redhead. "Yes."  
  
'Yohji's' glare hardened. "Where is it?"  
  
"On the back. I'm sorry, koi."  
  
"I didn't ask you to apologize. I want to see it."  
  
"Is it necessary?"  
  
"I want to see it." 'Yohji' spoke through clenched teeth. 'Aya' gave up trying to save himself and motioned 'Yohji' to follow him. 'Omi' let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"Great! I'm off the hook!" He exclaimed.  
  
"Oh no, you are not!" 'Ken' snapped, his dark eyes flashing. He grabbed 'Omi' by the ear and pulled him close, making the older man turned young boy yelp in pain. "You are going to pay for what you did to me…NOW!"  
  
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Omittichi! These are your own dirty ears you're hurting!"  
  
"Dirty?!"  
  
"Oops." 'Omi' knew he had picked a bad choice of words.  
  
Meanwhile, 'Aya' looked miserable as he pointed to the scratch on the car. 'Yohji's' face turned red with fury, almost the hair color he used to have. He sent a glare in 'Aya's' direction.  
  
"Why did you attempt to drive it in the first place?" He demanded.  
  
*Oh God, he hasn't attacked me yet.* 'Aya' sighed with relief. Out loud, he shrugged. "Well…I figured since you wouldn't drive my motorcycle and it would look weird to the crowd, I better try…and learn to drive?"  
  
"How did this scratch there?"  
  
"I don't know! I ran over a box…"  
  
"You ran over what?!" 'Yohji' twitched.  
  
"A box. But it was an empty box!"  
  
"I don't care about that!" 'Yohji' snapped. "You ran over a box with my car. You scratched my car. You drove it when I didn't even give you permission to do so. Do you know what this means?"  
  
"I'm in trouble." 'Aya' murmured.  
  
'Yohji' nodded firmly. "A lot of it."  
  
"Well!" A new voice exclaimed in the midst of all the arguing. "I didn't expect to see you all outside!"  
  
Turning away from one another, they saw Manx standing behind them and watching them argue like maniacs. This was bad news. They knew Kritiker would have a mission for them eventually but they didn't expect it to happen to soon. Yet here was Manx, waiting for them all to get inside and get downstairs. They couldn't tell her what happened. At once, 'Aya', 'Ken' and 'Yohji' got into character. 'Omi', however, forgot about whose body he was in and shot a sly grin in her direction.   
  
"Hey there, Manx." He greeted in a seductive tone.   
  
Manx raised an eyebrow. "Hi, Omi."  
  
"How about we skip the important talk and go into the…ow! Ow! Ow!" 'Omi' yelped again as 'Ken' pinched the fleshy part of his back. "O…Ken-kun! Why are you pinching me?!"  
  
"Sorry. My hand slipped and I had to grab something." 'Ken' said in a cool tone. 'Omi' was still rubbing the area that 'Ken' had tugged, now bright red.   
  
"Uh…wassup, Manx?" 'Yohji' said. 'Omi' groaned softly.  
  
"He did not just say 'wassup', did he?" He asked. 'Ken' nodded but stayed quiet.  
  
Manx thought Yohji sounded strange but said nothing. Besides, there were more important things to worry about now. "New mission."  
  
'Yohji' turned to 'Aya' as they headed inside. "You will pay for that scratch later."  
  
*Not with my life, I hope.* 'Aya' thought. But he survived…for a few more minutes.  
  
Once the five of them were inside and downstairs, they listened to the tape. As always, it was another crazy bastard who was torturing women and children. Tokyo seemed to be full of them these days, God knew why. This jerk was the newest one to pop up. He had his own prostitution ring and everything. In short, another worthless criminal that needed to be disposed of fast. He was another beast that Weiss had to deny tomorrows of [2]. 'Aya' wanted to take this mission, mainly because of the children involved. 'Omi' wanted to take it because of the women. 'Yohji' wanted the money he'd get after the mission. And 'Ken' just wanted to get rid of him. Plain and simple.   
  
Manx turned off the videotape and turned to all four men of Weiss. From the look on their faces, she knew they were ready to hunt this useless crook. Still, she wanted to be sure. She also noticed something different about them. She couldn't quite place it but something wasn't right.  
  
"So are you all in?" Manx asked. The four of them nodded.   
  
"Beautiful ladies in trouble...what do you think?" Omi asked with a sly grin on his face. "Maybe I'll end up scoring a date with a few while I'm at it."  
  
Manx raised an eyebrow but said nothing.   
  
"So do you want me to get started on finding information on the computer, Manx-san?" Ken asked.  
  
"Actually, I was hoping Omi would do it but...sure. Do as you wish, Ken."  
  
"Huh?" Aya looked in Manx's direction. "Were you talking to me, Manx?"  
  
"No, Aya. I was talking to Ken."  
  
"So you were talking to me?"  
  
"No!" Manx said exasperated. It surprised her that the redhead, who rarely spoke up, was asking such a silly question. He wasn't the only one acting strange though. There was something wrong with the whole picture. Omi normally didn't take missions cause of the women in trouble. Yohji did that. And Ken rarely asked if he could look up information on the computer. Then Aya was acting clueless suddenly. And Yohji...Yohji was just standing quietly by the wall, a scowl on his face. Manx figured that some girl rejected him last night and he wasn't in a good mood.   
  
"So...Manx?" Omi murmured before she had the chance to escape. The way he said that scared her, especially when he didn't call her 'Manx-san' like usual. Instead, Ken had done that. "Now we got the important stuff out of the way...how about you and I take care of a few things?"  
  
"Yohji-kun!" Ken exclaimed. "What are you doing?!"  
  
"Absolutely nothing." Yohji glared in Ken's direction. "I'm *right* here."  
  
"Ugh, you're making me look bad!" Omi groaned.  
  
Manx felt a headache coming on. What was going on? Why did Ken call Omi 'Yohji-kun'? Why was Omi flirting with her? Why was Yohji acting like Aya?   
  
*Tell me I stepped into the twilight zone by accident.* Manx prayed. But she had a feeling that all this was reality.  
  
"I look fine!" Yohji snapped, crossing his arms. "There is nothing wrong with me!"  
  
"Calm down." Aya said, picking up a soccer ball that was sitting by the couch. "You *do* look fine. But you're not..."  
  
"Not what?" Manx asked, finally fed up with the confusion. "I want an explanation. What are you all doing?"  
  
The four looked at each other, knowing that they were caught. They couldn't keep this problem from Kritiker forever. For all they knew, they could use the help. Manx waited patiently until Ken bravely stepped up and tried to explain the switch.  
  
"I don't understand the dilemma myself, Manx-san. This will be hard for me to explain and much harder for you to believe."  
  
"I've heard weird things before. Don't worry." Manx assured him.   
  
The mission we went on last night...do you remember?"  
  
"I do, Ken. It was a success. So what's wrong?"  
  
"That's just it, Manx-san." Ken sighed. "I'm not really Ken-kun. I'm Omi in Ken-kun's body. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. We succeeded but were knocked out by that blast...and when I woke up, I was in Ken-kun's body."  
  
Manx didn't want to believe it. But a lot of things Ken (or Omi) said made sense. It would explain why Yohji was looking pissed in one corner and why Omi was flirting with her. That would also explain why Aya was now playing around with the soccer ball. She didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure whose mind was in which body.  
  
"So you are in Ken's body." She began. "Ken is in Aya's body. Aya is in Yohji's body. And Yohji is in your body?"  
  
Ken (Omi) nodded. "That's right, Manx-san."  
  
"It sounds farfetched to me, Omi."  
  
"Farfetched?!" Omi (Yohji) exclaimed. "The hell do you mean it's farfetched, Manx?! Look at me! I'm in a seventeen-year old body, which lacks sex appeal! Look at my *legs*! My normal ones are strong and beautiful for any woman to admire! Omi's got stubby little legs! And no woman's gonna want to sit his lap! It's very..."  
  
"Yohji-kun! That's my body and my legs and my lap that you're insulting!" Ken (Omi) whined.   
  
"Do you know what we can do?" Yohji (Aya) asked. Manx shrugged.   
  
"No idea. What do you think caused the switch?"  
  
"Well, I believe", Ken (Omi) began, "that as we were running and we were thrown into air, the impact of our landings caused us to somehow switch minds with the person who was next to us. If I remember correctly, I was next to Ken-kun, Yohji-kun was on my other side, and Aya-kun was on Yohji's side. It kind of went around in a loop. My body carries Yohji-kun's mind, Yohji-kun's body has Aya-kun's mind, Aya-kun's body holds Ken-kun's mind, and I'm in in Ken-kun's body. We were knocked out in the whole process and when we awoke, we found ourselves in our present predicament."  
  
"And you can't change back?" Despite all she heard, Manx still didn't believe what happened.   
  
"We don't know how to, Manx-san. We could knock ourselves out but it may not make things better. Our minds could be switched again. We have to find another solution to this problem or we're doomed to stay like this forever.   
  
Aya's (Ken's) face widened into a smile when he heard all that. "Wow! With all that explanation and stuff...I can't believe how smart I sound!"  
  
"I believe you!" Manx said, after hearing Aya's normally emotionless voice get all happy. "I'll help and I'll get all four of you back to the way you were...somehow."  
  
"But what about the mission?" 'Omi' asked.  
  
"Go on it like usual. I can't do anything about that."  
  
"What?! You mean I have to learn to throw the genki darts of doom?! [3]"  
  
"If you insult me one more time…" 'Ken' began, his patience reaching the limit.  
  
"We're all in." 'Yohji' said quickly before 'Ken' killed 'Omi'.   
  
"But find a solution fast, Manx." 'Aya' begged. "I don't want to be like this forever."  
  
"I know." Manx looked over to where 'Ken' pinched 'Omi' again, who was now howling in pain. Yes, they needed to be switched before they killed one another.  
  
TBC…  
  
[1] Oh, thank you, thank you, my dear Keeshe Kaldaka! I loved it when you said "If I go down, I'm taking with me!" on my review! I decided to use that part after all, hope you don't mind.  
  
[2] Due to the school computers stupidity, I am unable to put the symbol at the end of Weiss like I normally do. I finished this chapter off here at school.  
  
[3] LOL! I loved what you called 'Omi's' darts, Ayako. The genki darts of doom! He he he…worked out fine here! And yes, 'Omi' is stuck with throwing them in the next chapter.  
  
***  
  
(Woo, shorter than what I thought it would be. So now Aya knows what Ken did but he hasn't quite killed him yet. That part comes a little later, I promise. Next up is preparation for a mission! Will 'Yohji' be able to use wire without getting tied up in it himself? Will 'Aya' learn to shi-ne someone with a katana? Will 'Omi' complain about the 'genki darts of doom'? (more than likely) And will 'Ken' get used to bugnuks? Who knows? Find out in chapter…uh…7! (Geez, I can't even remember what chapter I'm on.)  
  
R & R. No flames, criticism welcome. If notice me screwing up and confusing the hell out of you again, let me know. 


	8. Chapter 7: Ah! It's Raining Genki Darts ...

Switch  
  
Chapter 7: Ah! It's Raining Genki Darts of Doom!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: (opens letter) Dear Carter, you have constantly been bothering me about whether you can own Weiß Kruez and everything to do with it. Here is my response to you: get your own anime. Sincerely, Mr. Takehito. (blinks) WTF?! Well, there you have it! I still failed to own Weiß Kruez!   
  
Summary: During a perilous mission, Weiß gets knocked out and awakens to find that they have switched bodies with one another! Now Aya's a soccer freak, Ken's a computer freak, Omi's a woman freak, and Yohji is...just plain freaky being all silent and stoic. Ah, the lovely insanity!   
  
Pairings: Shounen-ai (Duh!) and it's...without a doubt...RANKEN! (Ran x Ken!) Need I digress? I didn't think so.  
  
(Welcome back, welcome back! Well, Ranners knows about Kenken's big mistake! He'll make Ken pay for the car (and no, Ken won't die. I promise! I wouldn't want to disappoint all of Ken's fan girls ~_^.) At the same time, Omi knows Yohji was smoking in his body (He's still in the dark about the seven dates though^^.) and spent quite a long time abusing Yohji (or himself, depending on how you see it.) Manx comes to save them from killing each other (insert holy music here) and gives them a new mission. They also reveal to her what has happened. She doesn't believe them at first until she hears Aya get all happy. Now they have their first mission! Will they survive? Find out now!)  
  
And since we'll have codenames now, I have to make another chart:  
  
'Balinese' = 'Yohji' = the real Aya  
'Bombay' = 'Omi' = the real Yohji  
'Siberian' = 'Ken' = the real Omi  
'Abyssinian' = 'Aya' = the real Ken  
  
Does that make sense? Somehow, I don't think it does-_-0.  
  
Thanks to reviewers once again: CherubKatan, asami (yup, Koyasu Takehito sounds amazing!), kamibukurosama (what mp3s do you have?), Keeshe Kaldaka (sorry you had to start over again. Good thing the scanner works.), fei, Taline, Neptican, F. Yuki (loved the picture of Ken you sent me and I promise one day to get your entire name down), Ryia Jen Rowen, White Rose, Ayako, obsessed fangirl (yes, I give you permission to write a Schwarz version) and lorien.   
  
One more announcement...does anyone have the Gluhen opening or ending theme (or both)? If you do, email me so we can set up an exchange or something.  
  
And now, to begin...  
  
***  
  
"I don't know." 'Bombay' was saying, eyeing "the genki darts of doom" as he had christened them. Night had fallen quickly and, with a few mishaps, no one else suspected anything wrong. Not even Sakura Tomoe when she came by later on in the afternoon. If anything, she was quite amazed at how much nicer 'Aya-san' was to her. 'Abyssinian' only hoped she wasn't getting any particular thoughts in her head involving her and his lover. The moment she left, the four of them got prepared for their mission. Now the time had finally arrived. It was only minutes before they attacked their targets at the given location, an abandoned warehouse in downtown Tokyo. Right now, all four were hiding in the dark, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. They were all dressed in the appropriate assassin gear and feeling very strange in them. But they managed to get everything right...well, almost everything. 'Abyssinian' did forget and did put on his goggles. Then seeing how weird his lover looked wearing them (and how badly they contrasted with the burgundy trench coat), he handed them over to 'Siberian' (or Bombay in Siberian's body). 'Bombay' complained about the suspenders after they got caught on the doorway *again* but was forced to wear them. 'Siberian' kept looking at his bugnuks and 'Abyssinian' kept praying that he didn't accidentally stab himself in the face with the claws. 'Balinese' was the only one who didn't complain or get nervous about using another person's weapon. But deep inside, they were sure he was as scared and worried as they were.  
  
"What's the problem now, Bombay?" 'Siberian' asked, growing tired of all the whining. 'Bombay' didn't answer. He kept looking in disgust at the darts. 'Abyssinian' and 'Balinese' exchanged a look.  
  
"Bombay?" 'Siberian' was getting impatient. 'Bombay' still did not answer. 'Abyssinian' realized what the problem was and whispered something in 'Siberian's' ear, who nodded. Then he turned to the now smaller -than -everyone assassin who had turned his back on them.  
  
"Balinese! What's the problem?" 'Siberian' asked once again.  
  
"Huh?" 'Balinese', who had not been paying attention to this conversation, finally perked up. So did 'Bombay'.  
  
"Not you! I'm talking to the *other* Balinese."  
  
"Oh." 'Balinese' tuned everything out. 'Bombay' turned around, an unhappy look on his handsome face. 'Siberian' and 'Abyssinian' were well aware what was going to happen next.   
  
"It's these genki darts!" 'Bombay' complained, shoving them in 'Siberian's' face and almost poking his eyes out with them when he did that. "I can't throw them! I'm going to miss and probably pin myself to wall or something!"  
  
"You have to!" 'Siberian' sighed. "I'm scared of using bugnuks myself but we have to deal with it."  
  
"But Siberian..."  
  
"What?" 'Abyssinian asked, wondering why 'Bombay' was complaining to him now. The others were confused once again until 'Siberian' sorted things out.  
  
"You're not Siberian, *I* am. You're Abyssinian, remember? "  
  
"Oh yeah." 'Abyssinian' blushed. Deciding to let 'Siberian' and 'Bombay' fight their battle by themselves, 'Abyssinian' turned to 'Balinese' who had given up on the other two a long time ago. In fact, he was growing impatient with them. They were on a mission and they were jeopardizing it with their constant bickering. He only hoped they would pipe down before the targets discovered them.   
  
"What are we going to do with them?" 'Abyssinian' asked, looking at 'Bombay' and 'Siberian'. "I'm afraid they're going to be dead before targets are."  
  
"Let them handle it by themselves." 'Balinese' said in a nonchalant way. "What really matters is getting this mission over with."  
  
"I'm very scared about this." 'Abyssinian' grasped the katana by the handle and looked down at it. He had no practice with this weapon whatsoever and now he was expected to skewer someone with it. Oh sure, he wasn't scared of one-on-one combat but he didn't know how to use a katana. What if he ended up cutting off one of his own (or Abyssinian's) limbs by accident? It sounded crazy but it wasn't impossible. What would 'Balinese' (or Abyssinian) say if he saw himself with one arm gone? It was bad enough 'Abyssinian' (Siberian) had to pay for the Porsche. Destroying his lover's body would result in death for sure.   
  
"You will do fine." 'Balinese' whispered, leaning over to give 'Abyssinian' a kiss. 'Abyssinian', still uncomfortable about having 'Balinese' kissing him, turned away. This upset 'Balinese' but he back away.   
  
"I don't understand. Why won't you let me kiss you?" He asked.  
  
"It doesn't feel right." 'Abyssinian' looked up, his violet eyes sad. "I told you that."  
  
'Balinese' lowered his own jade eyes. "I always hated it when you looked at me in that way. But what makes this worse is the fact that you are looking at me with*my* eyes."   
  
"I'm sorry. I don't want to be separated from you like these. Believe me." 'Abyssinian' said honestly, catching glimpse of himself in the dark window that they were standing in front of. He was the assassin Abyssinian all right. None of this was a dream. The only way he was sure it was him was the sad look on the normally cold Abyssinian. He hated to admit it but his lover looked almost childlike when he was sad and broken. So innocent, so gentle...quite an opposite of what he was now. Almost looking as gentle as the real Ken Hidaka. And a sad Aya Fujimiya was a more beautiful Aya Fujimiya.   
  
"You do realize we may never be changed back." 'Balinese' said. He tried to sound like that didn't matter but 'Abyssinian' caught a hint of sorrow in his voice. Of course he didn't like the thought of being trapped in playboy Yohji Kudou's body. Sexy as that body may have appeared to women, he preferred his own.  
  
"If that's the case, then I will have to get used to holding Yohji and kissing Yohji and making love to Yohji. But nobody said that we couldn't be changed back."   
  
"For the last time, they are *not* genki darts of doom!"  
  
The last exclamation from 'Siberian' made the other two forget about their conversation and turned to where their two partners were arguing. Finally fed up with their constant bickering, 'Abyssinian' spoke up.   
  
"Look, we wasted ten minutes listening to you argue." He said, exasperated and turning towards the warehouse. "Are we going after the targets or not?"  
  
"We're going, we're going." 'Siberian' promised, pulling them all together to lay down the plan. "Okay, listen up. 'Abyssinian' and 'Bombay' will attack from the front. 'Balinese' and I will attack from the back. I don't think they have tight security. I've checked the place out from top to bottom. They should be in there and I don't think there's anyone else with them. We'll meet back here. Understood?"  
  
"Wow! I sound great when I go through plans!" 'Aya' was excited once again to hear how amazingly smart he was. 'Siberian' rolled his now chocolate-colored eyes, 'Omi' snickered, and 'Yohji' didn't say a word.  
  
"Look, do you all understand what we're supposed to do?" 'Siberian' asked again.  
  
They all nodded. It was show time.  
  
"Good. Now let's do it."  
  
'Bombay' went towards 'Siberian' while 'Balinese' joined 'Abyssinian'. Unfortunately, this made 'Siberian' upset.  
  
"Hey! What did I just say?" He demanded, hands on his hips.  
  
'Bombay' was confused. "What're you talking about? We're following your orders."  
  
"No, you're not! You're not supposed to be with me!"  
  
"But you said that Balinese should go with Siberian so here I am."  
  
"What? No, I..."  
  
"He's right. You said..." 'Abyssinian' began before 'Siberian' (technically himself) cut him off.  
  
"Ah, you forgot we're switched!" 'Siberian' felt a headache coming on. Finally, he tried another tactic. "Okay, you *Balinese*", He pointed to 'Balinese', "Come with me, *Siberian*." He pointed to himself, and then turned to the other two. "You, *Bombay*", He pointed to 'Bombay', "Go with him, *Abyssinian*!" He pointed to 'Abyssinian'.   
  
Finally, they understood.  
  
"Geez, why didn't you say that in the first place?" 'Bombay' murmured, joining 'Abyssinian.'  
  
"I did!" 'Siberian' wanted to cry.   
  
"Let's just get this over with." 'Balinese' muttered, following 'Siberian' to the front of the building. 'Abyssinian' gave him a loving look that read "Good luck, love. Come back safely".  
  
"Well, we're alone." 'Bombay' sighed as the two of them moved quietly and quickly towards the back of the building. 'Abyssinian' sighed and kept a good hold on the handle of his lover's katana. The moment of truth was here, whether or not he could use the katana. They kept moving quietly until they were at the backdoor of the warehouse.  
  
"Ah, man, I hope we get this mission over with. I have a date in two hours." 'Bombay' said, finding out that the idiotic targets had left the backdoor unlocked and getting inside. Good thing it was dark cause 'Bombay' couldn't see the horror on 'Abyssinian's' face at that moment.   
  
"A date? At eleven o'clock?" 'Abyssinian' asked.  
  
"Yup. The chick really digs me." 'Bombay' made it sound like he'd won some competition or something.  
  
"She does not dig you but the person whose body you're living in now." 'Abyssinian' explained. "What did you do to poor Omi? Turn him into a pimp?"  
  
"Now, now, Kenken. I prefer 'popular' and 'suave' to 'pimp'."   
  
"He'll kill you for this, you realize."  
  
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."   
  
"No, because *he* will hurt *you*. Remember him grabbing you?"  
  
'Bombay' frowned. Oh, he remembered all right. 'Ken' had a very good grip on his skin and he could pinch! What made it even worse was that the real Ken probably hadn't cut his nails in three million years 'cause they cut into his skin! He didn't draw blood but the pain was there. But 'Omi' couldn't help himself. The girl was waiting for him and he intended to please her tonight.   
  
*Her and every girl out there that I've made a date with.* He told himself. Screw what the real Omi would do to him. If he died tonight, he died having done something good for the chibi.  
  
As they advanced closer, they could hear footsteps. Motioning 'Bombay' to stay quiet, 'Abyssinian' found a wall and hid behind it. 'Bombay' got in the same place and waited for the footsteps to away. Was it one of the targets?   
  
"Asshole! Hope he dies!" A feminine voice exclaimed. Peering out a little, the two assassins saw a leggy, tall blonde storming down the hall. The clothes she was wearing, which was very little, suggested she must have been a prostitute or something hired by one of the targets. As they watched her walk away, 'Bombay' got a great idea.  
  
"Should I?" He asked 'Abyssinian.'  
  
'Abyssinian' looked doubtful. "While she was in here, she isn't one of our targets. We should just leave her alone, Bali…Bombay."  
  
"No. Should I ask her out?" 'Bombay' peered down at the long legs of this woman. "Damn. Those legs go on forever!"  
  
"Don't even think about it!" 'Abyssinian' snapped. "It's bad enough you have a date tonight and Omi doesn't know what you've done!"  
  
"And a date tomorrow night and the night after and the…" 'Bombay' began murmuring.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Meanwhile, in their own section of the warehouse, 'Siberian' and 'Balinese' also hadn't found the targets yet. They kept hiding in the shadows whenever they heard some noise. Now they were hiding behind a wall because they heard someone walking by. When the noise stopped, 'Siberian' spoke up.  
  
"I'm worried, Aya-kun. What if something goes wrong?" He asked.  
  
'Balinese' looked 'Siberian' and felt a little pity. His poor lover, with those soft brown eyes, getting all upset and worried that these would be his last hours on earth. Of course, they got scared on *any* mission but now his Ken…his poor, sweet Ken…needed some love.   
  
Forgetting that this wasn't the real Ken, 'Balinese' pulled 'Siberian' close and hugged him tightly.  
  
"Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you. I'm here." He whispered in his lover's ear. At times like this, Ken needed some comfort and encouragement.   
  
'Siberian' was confused. "Uh…Aya-kun? What are you doing?"  
  
'Balinese' let him go immediately. "Oh…Omi! I…I thought you were…"  
  
"Ken-kun? It's okay. But remember…just because I look like him, doesn't mean you can hug me like that."   
  
"Sorry." 'Balinese' said, not sounding sorry at all. Accepting the apology, 'Siberian' recounted his anxiety and worries again.  
  
"I'm scared, Aya-kun. Aren't you worried about using wire?"  
  
"I'll manage. You should too."   
  
Finally they came to an empty room with nothing but hot overhead lights, ugly green painted walls, an equally ugly green ceiling, a table, and four empty chairs. This must have been where the targets made their plans. There were also boxes littered in corners, big enough to hide them. This was where 'Balinese' and 'Siberian' decided to stay for the time being.  
  
Few minutes later, 'Abyssinian' and 'Bombay' made their way into room and found a place to hide. According to what Kritiker had told them all, the targets usually met in this room to discuss what they would do next. And it was usually around this time too. Of course, they didn't doubt Kritiker one bit. The targets, four large men in business suits and shapeless in figure, made their way to the table. They chattered and discussed, their voices pretty much melding together as one. 'Abyssinian' got a good look at the area and finally caught 'Balinese's' glare. It was time.   
  
The next couple of minutes would be result in one of the most interesting mission's the four men of Weiss ever went on. The lights went out and they all made their appearance the moment they came back on. The targets, knocking down their chairs, stood up and faced the four assassins dressed in black. Show time.   
  
"Who are you?!" One of the targets demanded.  
  
'Abyssinian' unsheathed his katana, getting as cold and angry as his lover was. "Weiss!" (Once again, I can't do the symbol 'because I'm at school ~_~.)  
  
"Weiss?" Another one sneered.  
  
"That's our name, don't wear it out." 'Balinese' said, trying to be as cool as the real Balinese and causing 'Bombay' to groan for the thirtieth time that night.   
  
"Cute." The third one snarled, facing off against 'Siberian'. "I think I'll take care of you first, kid."  
  
The fourth one said nothing but faced off against 'Abyssinian', who gulped. Now all that confidence he once had drained away from his body. 'Balinese' disappeared somewhere while 'Bombay' chose to take out the first target. And the fighting began. 'Siberian' managed to pull those claws out but using them ended up being another problem. He kept getting knocked down and hit by his target. 'Bombay' saw this and tried to help out.  
  
"I got your back, Siberian!" 'Bombay' yelled, throwing a dart. Unfortunately, this didn't get the target but 'Siberian' instead. It got caught on the orange sweater he wore around his waist and stuck him to the wall.   
  
"What are you doing?! You pinned me to the wall, Bombay!" 'Siberian' exclaimed, yanking that dart out of his orange sweater and tossing it aside. 'Bombay' swore and threw another dart. This one missed the target completely, making the bad guy laugh instead of cower in fear.   
  
"You call yourself an assassin?" The target sneered. "You couldn't hit a squirrel if it was staring at you in the face, you stubby legged bastard!"  
  
Unfortunately, that remark infuriated 'Bombay' and suddenly gave him more confidence to use these new weapons.  
  
"Eat genki darts of doom, asshole!" 'Bombay' snarled, throwing a handful of darts at one of the targets. Two pinned the guy to the wall, one hit him in the stomach, one hit him in the arm, and one just aimlessly flew and landed on the ground without hitting anything. The target howled in pain and then the howling stopped when 'Bombay' quickly pulled out his crossbow and, just as the target was freeing himself, he said a prayer and pulled the trigger. The arrow hit him in the forehead, killing him instantly. 'Bombay' was amazed.  
  
"I did it." He whispered, looking at the darts. He had killed someone without pinning himself or his teammates to wall. It was a change from his wire but he had done it.   
  
"Shi-ne." 'Balinese' whispered, jumping down below, wrapping the wire around another target's neck, and strangling him. The man choked until he didn't make anymore sounds. Finally, 'Balinese' stopped and let the body drop to the ground. It fell with a dull thud, wire still wrapped around the target's neck.  
  
Meanwhile, 'Siberian' and 'Abyssinian' didn't have the same luck that the other two assassins had. Considering that 'Siberian' rarely did any one-on-one combat fighting with the targets, this was a whole new thing for him. The target was stronger and fought hard. 'Abyssinian' was also having trouble. A katana was nothing like bugnuks. The targets seemed to be confused as well. What were these idiots doing?  
  
"Ah, this isn't working!" 'Siberian' exclaimed as another one lunged towards him. 'Abyssinian', while a little bit more successful, still had trouble fighting with the katana. He kept swinging it wildly. Ultimately, 'Balinese' came to his rescue by wrapping the wire around the target and causing the big guy to fall.   
  
"Get him now!" He barked. Nodding, 'Abyssinian' let out a cry and bought that katana straight through the man's chest. The target screamed minutes before the blade came down and stopped when it did. Blood poured out, suggesting to them that their target was dead.   
  
"You're not taking me down!" The last target exclaimed, still fighting against poor 'Siberian'. Finally, making a wish and closing his eyes, 'Siberian' lunged forward with one claw and shoved it into the target's chest. He gasped before he dropped to the ground, dead. Letting out a sigh of relief, 'Siberian' leaned against the wall.  
  
"That's it, right?" He asked.  
  
"It should be." 'Bombay' said, looking around the place. Yes, there were four dead bodies on the ground. "I can't believe I actually managed to use a genki dart of doom."  
  
'Siberian' was going to complain but chose not to. He was too tired. 'Abyssinian' stared down at the target he had just skewered two minutes ago. Yup, that guy was very much dead.   
  
"We did it." He whispered. "We survived."  
  
"More importantly, the targets are dead." 'Balinese' said.   
  
"Good! We can go home now!" 'Bombay' exclaimed. He was partially happy because of being able to use Omi's weapons but he was more excited because in two hours, he would be on the first of his seven dates. A girl from Omi's class said she would be happy to meet him.  
  
"We're alive." 'Abyssinian' kept muttering as they left the scene like always, no evidence except for the dead bodies. They survived the mission.  
  
Unfortunately, there was also the chance that they would not be quite as lucky the next time. There would always be that chance.   
  
  
***  
  
'Omi' made sure he had everything ready: a table with a velvet red tablecloth, two lit candles, orange soda (hey, he was seventeen!) in wine glasses, and bunch of French bread in a basket. The butter was sitting in the middle of the basket. His bed was still made but he didn't think it would be that way for long. He'd told her to come through the window for fear of waking 'Aya', 'Yohji', and 'Ken'. She was surprised but didn't mind. In fact, she told him she was happy to spend time with him tonight. Flipping on the stereo, he began playing some soft, romantic music.  
  
*Baby, Omi Tsukiyono is going to knock you out of your pretty heels.* 'Omi' thought with a chuckle. In a few minutes, his date would be here. He'd turn on the good old Tsukiyono charm (technically good old Kudou charm) and she would be his. 'Omi' would be more popular than any kid in his class and it would thanks to him. It kind of made 'Yohji' wish he was seventeen again.   
  
*Being in the chibi's body isn't all THAT bad.* He said to himself, splashing cologne on himself and putting mousse in his shorter blond hair. He had actually stolen these from his *real* room because he doubted that 'Yohji', the ice sculpture, would be using it.   
  
There was a soft rap on the window. 'Omi' turned around to find the pretty girl, her name was Hitomi, outside. She waved at him so, with a dashing smile, he walked over and opened the window. She had a lot of books in her hands, he couldn't understand why. Helping her in, he led her towards the table.  
  
"I hope you enjoy what I have planned for us." He said with a grin. Hitomi, however, looked confused rather than pleased. He pulled up a chair and she sat down in it, feeling a little strange. He then sat down in the seat across from her and threw her one of Omi's winning smiles. Poor Hitomi was lost still.  
  
"Tsukiyono-kun? What is all this?" She asked.  
  
"I told you. I want to make you as comfortable as possible."  
  
"You go a long way for a study date, Tsukiyono-kun."  
  
'Omi' froze with horror. "Study date?"  
  
"Yes, Tsukiyono-kun. We have that exam tomorrow, remember?"  
  
"Exam?" The real Omi didn't tell him anything about an exam! What did this mean, that *he* had to take the exam instead of the real Omi?  
  
"Yes. That's why I'm here, isn't it? That exam is going to be hard, I heard. I'm so glad you asked me to study with you! Knowing how smart you are, I'm sure to ace that test tomorrow!"  
  
'Omi', with his dreams of romance and charming Hitomi thrown out of that open window, slid off his chair and landed squarely on his ass.   
  
***  
  
*stares blankly* Ah, I am really bad at action sequences! Don't worry, guys! I'll make it much better on their next mission.  
  
Ah, this ends another chapter! Oh my God, this chapter was so freaking long! I feel much better now, the last couple of days left me sour and pissed off. Not at you guys, of course! Just other things. God, I don't know how much longer this story will be! Maybe 12 chapters....ah, but I have lots and lots of ideas. I decided to bring Sakura in after all. Mission was confusing, no? I figured it was.  
  
Hopefully, my other stories won't be as long as this story has been. Chapters may be longer and take a while to update but it'll be worthwhile. So review, review, review! Whoever reviews gets a videotape taken by Schuldig of the boys in one another's bodies! It includes this deleted scene…  
  
DELETED SCENE (The real Omi's bedroom where 'Omi' (Yohji)…and someone else…is sleeping)  
  
'Omi' (murmuring): Oh baby…oh yeah…give it to me…  
  
Woman under covers (giggles): Oh, Omi-kun!  
  
'Omi': I told you there's more to me that stubby legs and girlish looks!  
  
(A horrified Omi and Nagi are watching this.)  
  
Nagi: Omi! Why?! After all we…  
  
Omi (covers Nagi's mouth): Shush! That's not me in there…but I know who is. (Turns to author) Carter, stop the tape and explain to Nagi that I wasn't sleeping with anyone last night. If anyone asks where I am, tell them I'm taking my 'genki darts of doom' to go kill Yohji.  
  
Me: ??? Sure.  
  
Nagi: *traumatized for life* 


	9. Chapter 8: Schwarz Appears and Talk Abou...

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Chapter 8: Schwarz Appears and Talk About Goats! Baa!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz. (I think I have been spelling it wrong the whole time. AHHHHHH!!!!!!! How could I, a fan of this show, spell it wrong?!) If I did, I would have Ken and Yohji appear in the first two episodes of Gluhen and Omi would have more air time. (Although episodes with Aya, sporting glasses and a Duo Maxwell braid, aren't bad at all.)  
  
Summary: La la la…boys get mission, get knocked out, get switched, confusion ensues…la la la…Aya likes soccer, Ken likes computers, Omi likes women, and Yohji likes…nothing anymore…la la la. Confusion, confusion, and more confusion!  
  
Pairings: RANKEN! RANKEN! RANKEN! I don't think I need to make it any more clearer, do I? Shounen-ai/slash/yaoi…choose whatever you like. RanKen rocks!  
  
(Wah! I am a complete baka! First I confuse myself, now I've been spelling Weiss Kreuz wrong the entire freaking time! And to make matter worse, I keep leaving "TBC" off these days! Oh man, how could I do that to the bishounens and you readers? Well, now I know and I won't do it again. Um, last chapter…tons of confusion…and killing. 'Omi' finally went on a date with some girl…only to find out she came here to study, not do anything special. You can bet he is doomed now. Anyway, I decided to bring Schwarz in this after all! I think it'll be fun screwing up Schuldig's mind for a change, don't you? (I'm going with the German spelling because I know all the German readers will complain if I don't.) He'll be getting into the mind of the wrong kitten!)  
  
Schu: Yay! You decided you want to screw me after all!  
  
Me (grossed out): Not in that way.  
  
Farf: It would hurt God…a lot.  
  
Me (exasperated): We are not hurting God and I am not screwing Schu…in that sense!   
  
Schu: Oh. Then can I screw Brad instead?  
  
Brad (offstage): What?  
  
Schu: Nothing, sweetheart!  
  
Me: Okay, okay, I better stop this! Let's get to the fic.  
  
First thank the readers: fei (yes, I have an image of Duo Maxwell Aya from Gluhen swinging his katana around like a nutcase), Keeshe Kaldaka (no, I'm not mad that you left a short review), kamibukurosama (all mp3s? I'm jealous! And that one part was supposed to confuse you), lorien, CherubKatan, siberian, White Rose, neptican, someone who refused to leave a name, Ayako (Mwuhahahahaha! Genki darts of doom!), asami (Koyasu Takehito looks fine but he needs a dentist! Those teeth make me want to run away screaming!), F. Yuki (I love the Aya pic!), Kageri, and Ryu-chan (Thanks for giving me the site).  
  
Now to the fic…  
  
***  
  
The next day bought nothing but rain. It felt like the sky was broken and the water kept pouring through a hole pierced in it. Some lightning flashed and some thunder rolled but it wasn't going to keep the men of Weiss from going about their normal routine at Koneko. 'Aya', 'Yohji' and 'Ken' were already downstairs, enjoying tea and watching as the rain kept on falling down. None of the schoolgirls were here yet either but the four men knew that not even a tornado would keep them from getting a glimpse of the "cute florists" who worked here.   
  
"Where's Omi…or Yohji?" 'Aya' asked. Day two and he still was not used to the fact everyone had switched bodies.  
  
'Ken' looked down at his teacup. "He was up all night. Maybe he realized that I have exam tomorrow and he decided cram for it."  
  
"Yohji? Cramming for an exam?" 'Aya' almost burst out laughing at the thought of playboy Yohji burying his nose in a pile of books and stressing out over an exam. "But what if he doesn't know about your exam?"  
  
Before 'Ken' could answer, 'Omi' came down to the shop. His hair was still messed up, his clothes weren't pressed down, and he had the most pissed off look on his face. He pointed an accusing finger at 'Ken'.  
  
"You!" He shot a death glare at him, something more associated with the real Aya.   
  
'Ken' looked nonchalant. "Yeah, me. What's wrong?"  
  
'Omi' did not calm down as he continued pouring out his fury. "You never told me you have a test tomorrow!"  
  
"I didn't? Must have slipped my mind." 'Ken' said, not caring that 'Omi' (or himself) was going to jump him soon.  
  
"You made me look like a jackass, chibi! Last night, when that girl came over, she told me about the study date and was really upset when she saw that I had no idea about the exam! You ruined my date!"  
  
'Ken' twitched. This time he was the one who was angry. "Date? You bought a girl into *my* bedroom last night?"  
  
'Omi' realized his mistake and put a hand over his mouth. "Oops."  
  
"You bought a girl into my bedroom last night." 'Ken' went on in a quiet voice, getting out of his chair and going over to 'Omi', who was starting to cower in fear. "You smoke when I tell you not to. You insult my weapons and my legs, having the nerve to call them 'genki darts of doom' and 'stubby' respectively."  
  
"Wha…what do you want me to do?" 'Omi' gulped.   
  
Ken smiled. "I suggest you use my stubby legs to run because when I catch you…"  
  
'Omi' bolted off right away. "You can't do this to me! And besides, you're inflicting harm on yourself! This is your body! If you kill me, you won't have anything to switch back into!"  
  
"No but I will be rid of you!" 'Ken' snapped and the pursuit began. He chased after 'Omi' as 'Aya' and 'Yohji' watched them run upstairs. They could hear footsteps running upstairs along with screaming.   
  
"Let's make a bet. If Omi kills Yohji, you're taking me out and paying for everything. If he doesn't, I am." 'Aya' suggested.  
  
"Fine with me." 'Yohji' shrugged. "You always lose bets."  
  
"Not *always*. Just the last three times we ever bet on anything."  
  
"We've only bet on something three times and you lost all three times." 'Yohji' pointed out, sipping his tea. 'Aya' frowned. Okay, his lover had a point. He decided to go ahead and change the subject.  
  
"Poor Yohji. Omi put a lot of restrictions on him." 'Aya' started up a new conversation. "I mean, no smoking, no dating…it's the things Yohji can't live without. I guess he thought he could get away with smoking in your car…"  
  
"Speaking of which, we still have that matter of you taking out my car without telling me!" 'Yohji' snapped.   
  
'Aya' gulped. He knew he wouldn't get away so easily. "Oh, that. Well, what do you want to do about it?"  
  
'Yohji' glared at him. "I am not going to do anything about it. *You* are! You're going to pay for that scratch!"  
  
"Don't kill me! It's just a scratch!"  
  
'Yohji' looked down. "I said you would pay for the scratch. I didn't say you were going to die."  
  
"Oh." 'Aya' let out a sigh of relief. So his life was spared but he had a feeling that 'Yohji' had some other worse punishment planned for him. Before he could ask what it was, the door opened.  
  
"Aya-san! Yohji-san! Good morning!" Sakura Tomoe shook her umbrella and closed. "It's raining really badly out there!"  
  
"Hi, Sakura-chan." 'Aya' said warmly. Sakura raised an eyebrow. It was the second time that he had been so friendly to her. The Aya-san she was used to was quiet and kept to himself a lot, a mysterious handsome man. This Aya-san was friendly and sweet…kind of like Ken-san.  
  
"Um…hey there, sugar!" 'Yohji' once again tried to be like the real Yohji. Good thing 'Omi' was being hunted by 'Ken' or he would be completely horrified. 'Aya', himself, was raising an eyebrow.   
  
"So what's a lovely lady like you doing out in the rain?" 'Yohji' went on. Now this was more of an improvement from last time.  
  
Sakura giggled. "I just came to say hi to you all. Where are Ken-san and Omi-san?"  
  
There was a crash from upstairs and another yell. The three of them looked above to see what exactly was going on there. They could hear the voices of 'Omi' and 'Ken' screaming at each other.  
  
"I can't help it if you have skinny chicken legs!"  
  
"Run all you want! I'll find you in the end!"  
  
"Not if I hide in the closet!"  
  
"You're an idiot for giving away your hiding place, you know that?"  
  
"Aw, shit!"  
  
Sakura looked a little frightened as she turned to the other two. "Aya-san? Yohji-san? What are they…"  
  
"Omi destroyed Ken's soccer ball." 'Aya' said quickly. "Ken wants to kill him for that."  
  
"Oh." Sakura nodded.   
  
Somehow, deep inside, she did not buy it. There was something wrong all right. If only she knew what it was…   
  
***  
  
"Oh Brad! Bradley, dearest, I have something to tell you!" Schuldig called out in a singsong voice, wandering straight into the room Brad Crawford and Nagi were in. Crawford winced and glared at the German. Go figure. Only Schuldig would have the nerve to call him "Bradley" (not to mention add 'dearest' at the end of his name). Schuldig shifted his grin from Brad to Nagi, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dark green jacket.  
  
"What's the problem now, Schuldig?" Crawford sighed. Nagi smirked in the corner. He wasn't the psychic in the group but he had a good feeling why Schuldig was here.  
  
"I'm bored, Braddy!" Schuldig complained. Crawford's brow knitted. It was another one of Schuldig's horrible names for him. "There's no action in this place. If something doesn't happen soon, you can bet I'm going to join Farfie in that room over there!"  
  
"You're bored. What do you want me to do about it?" Crawford demanded.  
  
"Uh…entertain me?"  
  
Crawford frowned. "Do I look like the circus to you?"  
  
Schuldig gave him a shit-eating grin, and then began to complain again. "It's the people that come and go. I've tried to get into their heads to see what juicy, delicious thoughts are inside. What the hell do I find? Crap. Only thing I hear is blah blah blah blah blah." Schuldig pretended to make his hands take to one another as he tried to explain how boring people were now.   
  
"Oh, I think he likes me. No, I don't think he likes me. Oh, does this dress make me look too fat? Oh, I really think he hates me. I hate myself. I'm too fat. I'm too skinny. I look like a watermelon! I look like that cross-dressing singer! Blah blah freaking blah!" Schuldig sighed and tried to calm himself down. "Honestly, these kinds of thoughts get annoying every now and then. It's like eating the same thing over and over again 'til it finally tastes like shit. So I'm bored! What do I do?"  
  
"I don't know!" Crawford barked. He had predicted that Schuldig would get annoying sometime today and had kept a bottle of aspirin in the drawer for that reason. When Schuldig got bored, it meant he would not leave Brad until something new came along.   
  
"Schuldig has a point." Nagi decided to speak up. "It's too quiet here."  
  
"Ha!" Schuldig looked smug, crossing his arms across his green jacket.  
  
"What can I do?" Crawford let out a sigh. "I haven't predicted anything happening until now when I predicted Schuldig was going to lay his problems on me."  
  
"Oh, c'mon. You know you love it when I do that!" Schuldig smiled.  
  
Crawford ignored him. "Why don't you play with Nagi or something?"  
  
Nagi tried hard to hide his horror. "Oh really, you don't mean that! As much I'd love to…"  
  
"You would?!" Schuldig exclaimed. "Oh, you're nice, Nagi-wagi!"  
  
/I'm going to kill you./ Nagi sent the message telepathically to Schuldig. Oh, how he hated being called "Nagi-wagi".  
  
/I know you hate it, Nagi-wagi. But I'm bored!/  
  
/You've emphasized that point already!/  
  
Crawford sat up. "Huh? That's odd."  
  
"What's odd? You just found out Nagi-wagi's really a girl in disguise?" Schuldig asked.  
  
"Oh, how funny." Nagi said sarcastically.   
  
"No. I got another premonition." Crawford explained. "Looks like you won't stay bored long, Schuldig. We're going to have a fight soon."  
  
"Yay!" Schuldig cheered. "Lots of people tasting like honey, right?"  
  
"You *could* say that." Crawford agreed. Schuldig, however, was too happy to care about anything else. He ran away before Crawford could finish his prediction. Nagi did notice the worried look though.  
  
"It's not a good premonition, is it?" Nagi asked.  
  
"I'm afraid not." Crawford sighed. "It's not just going to be any other fight. It's going to be one of the most interesting ones we've ever had, not to mention one of the most confusing."  
  
"Confusing?"  
  
"You'll see what I mean."  
  
Nagi nodded but he couldn't stop wondering. Crawford didn't get so worried before so why was he worried now? Did this premonition mean they were going to die or something? Or maybe something bad would happen to Schuldig. That's why he didn't tell the whole thing until Schuldig was out of the room. If only Crawford had gone into more details, then maybe Nagi could understand what was wrong.  
  
But until the fight came, he would have to wait like everyone else.   
  
  
TBC…(ha ha, I remembered!)  
  
***  
  
(Wow, short chapter! Yup, Weiss will fight Schwarz pretty soon! Other things to happen: one extra pointless mission, 'Omi' takes the exam, 'Yohji' on another date, 'Aya' and 'Yohji' on a date, 'Ken's' second date with spawn of the devil, 'Omi's' seven dates (provided 'Ken' hasn't disemboweled him yet), and much more! I've finally decided this thing is going to be 12-15 chapters long, 20 at the most. Still confused?! Good, so am I! The next update may take a while to come for I have the last couple of exams on the way. So I don't get bored, I may just watch the Weiss outtakes I have. (Ugh! I still can't get over the fact Ken calls Kase 'Case' in the dub. As in suitcase! Freaky!) Till then, review! No flames please. Keep me inspired! Keep me confused!)  
  
___  
  
  
~You can skip this next part and go straight to the review button. It's just me saying it'll take a while to update this, exams are coming up-_-0.   
  
(The bishounens of Weiss and Schwarz are sitting in Carter's bedroom. Evidently, the author has called a meeting after the chapter is done and the boys have some complaints. When Carter comes in, complaining begins.)  
  
Yohji: I refuse to be in Omi's body anymore!  
  
Ken: I can't kiss Aya because he's in Yohji's body!  
  
Farf: Nobody hurt God so far!   
  
Omi: Yohji ruined my reputation! He made me a pimp!  
  
Schu: x_x  
  
Me: What happened to Schu?  
  
Nagi: His mind is still messed up after having to go through too many different people's thoughts. If he were awake, he'd kill you.  
  
Me (backs away from unconscious Schu): Okay. Anyway, I may have this fic on hold for a few days so you'll have to stay in each other's bodies for awhile.  
  
Yohji, Ken, and Omi: WHAT?!  
  
Aya (death glares): Shi-ne, Carter.  
  
Farf: Yay, delays hurt God!  
  
Brad: I predict hell is going to start raining on you now.  
  
Schu: x_x  
  
Me (holds up hands): Blame school! Exams are coming up! But neither you guys nor the readers will have to wait long, maybe a week. Thanksgiving is also coming up so more updates then as well.   
  
Farf: Yay! Updating this confusing fic will hurt God!  
  
Me: ??? Of course, it will. Now a happier note…I spoke to my grandparents last week! It turns out Ken is pregnant!  
  
(Everyone is quiet and shocked except for Ken who is happy.)  
  
Ken: Yay! We're going to have a child! (Wraps arms around Aya) Isn't this great, love?! We're going to have a baby!  
  
Omi: Um…Ken-kun? You didn't hear the whole thing, did you?  
  
Ken: I'm pregnant, what…(realizes what that means)…wait! That's not possible! (Gets all traumatized)  
  
Aya (holds out katana after seeing what happened to Ken): Carter, shi-ne!  
  
Me: No, no, no! I forgot to mention this…Ken is one of the four pet goats my grandparents keep! Yeah, we have four pet goats that I have secretly named Aya, Ken, Yohji, and Omi^^. They literally come into the house and eat rice and stuff when you call them. Not to mention, Omi gets abused by the other three goats a lot. Aya's the only one who doesn't baa.(It's true, they do have goats! Omi's brown, the other three are black with certain markings to differentiate them…and Aya and Ken hang around with each other a lot~_^)  
  
Everyone: Oh…  
  
Nagi: But why did you name a *female* goat 'Ken'?  
  
Schu (comes out of unconscious state): A feminine name like 'Omi' or 'Nagi' would suit the little female goat much better.   
  
Nagi: *sticks out tongue*: Go back to being unconscious!  
  
Me: I don't know why I named a female goat 'Ken'! I didn't know it was female…(thinks)…of course, it *did* have udders…(Yes, female goats like cows, have udders used to get milk from. This is the useless fact of the day.)  
  
Ken (gets all happy again): Yay! Ken-goat and Aya-goat are going to have a child!   
  
Aya (death glares): I cannot believe you chose to enslave a poor goat and have the nerve to name it after me.  
  
Yohji: Well, technically, it's not named after *you* considering Aya isn't…  
  
Aya (shoots glare at him): Release the goats next time you go or I shall do something drastic.  
  
Me: No! I can't do that! The four goats are lucky. My grandparents are nice to have them. You know what would happen if they sold those poor goats to someone else? You know where they'll take you to get more money? A butcher shop!  
  
Schu (gets image of goat at butcher shop): Yuck! It's not pretty, kittens. Carter's right.  
  
Ken: NOOOOOO!!!!!!! Our baby Aya-chan cannot be taken to a butcher shop!  
  
Aya: You had the nerve of naming the baby without consulting me first?!  
  
Brad (has tuned out everything until now): Listen to you both! You're talking about a goat that doesn't even belong to you!  
  
(Everyone ignores him.)  
  
Ken (all happy): Aya-goat and Ken- goat are having a kid!  
  
  
Yohji: And the Yohji goat is the sexiest one around!  
  
Omi: The Omi goat does not deserve abuse!  
  
Farf: Nyohohohohohohoho!!!!! Next time when we go visit the grandparents, I'm going to get a duck because ducks hurt God!  
  
Schu: Yeah, get ducks named after us sexy villains, the sexiest one being named Schuldig! Do that next time!  
  
Ken (coming up with names for 'baby' goat): Kumagoro…no, Buddy…no, Sakura…no, Killer…no, I don't like that…  
  
Brad: I predict you'll end this soon, Carter.  
  
Me: Yeah. Okay, that was pointless. But it's true. Ken-goat is pregnant. Anyone got a name? Next update won't be for a while, gomen. But it'll be worth the wait, I promise. R & R.   
  
Ken (arms around a scowling Aya and singing): We're going to have a baby! We're going to have a baby!  
  
Me: Please R & R. No flames. The more review, the more I write^^. 


	10. Chapter 9: YOU RUINED MY WHAT? SHIIIIIIN...

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Chapter 9: YOU DESTROYED MY WHAT?! SHI-NE!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: He he he...Oh, how I wish to own Weiß Kreuz (Ha ha, I got it right this time!). Think of the things I would do...make the series longer, for starters. Bring Ken and Yohji in the first 2 episodes of Gluhen. Give Ken more airtime and attention in the series itself. Dig deep into every Schwarz member's past. Get rid of that brown grocery bag shirt Omi wears throughout the second half of the series (no offense to anyone who likes it). And yes, there would be tons of RanKen. But, sadly, I do not own it.  
  
Summary: I don't think I need to go through this again. Boys switch bodies, tons of confusion. Case closed.  
  
Pairings: *a crappy sign with blinking neon red lights* RANKEN! RANKEN! RANKEN! (Cause we love seeing them together so much ^^.  
  
BTW, thanks to ember-fang for the baby goat's name (Yes, I realized you were talking about the goat). I've finally decided on them (provided I can tell the sex by then):  
  
If it's a boy- Ren (Ran + Ken)  
If it's a girl- Kya (Ken + Aya)  
  
I should know when I go visit them in the summer. Hopefully, Ren/Kya will be born by then and I'll tell you all about it in a new Weiß Kreuz fic. And the baby should be born soon cause Ken is FAT!  
  
Ken (begins pinching his stomach): I'm not fat! (Clings to Aya) Carter said I was fat, love!  
  
Aya (death glares): Is that so? (jumps gazillion feet into the air and aims katana at Carter): Shi-ne!  
  
Carter (backs away): No, no, no! I meant Ken the *goat* was fat cause she's pregnant, not your Ken!   
  
Aya (looks blankly): Oh.   
  
Carter: I better stop this now. Okay, here we go for a recap. Schwarz has finally made an appearance after eight freaking chapters! There maybe a slight Brad x Schu but nothing to drive anyone away, I hope. The real Omi is out for the real Yohji's blood. Sakura can actually notice something's wrong (AMAZING!). Yohji still has to take Omi's exam and Schu was bored until Brad got a premonition. But Brad hasn't told anyone the premonition because he's afraid (Yes, old stick up the ass is afraid!) So now we start with 'Aya' (Ken) and 'Yohji' (Aya) on a date with one another^^ (kind of). The Schwarz may be in the next chapter. And I FINALLY got to see the Gluhen opening and ending. Here's what I have to say: screw what the guys look like! I can't wait to see an episode. Speaking of which, does anyone know where I can find episode 1 & 2 of Gluhen? Let me know if you do!  
  
Ahem, thanks to my readers. What can I say, I love you! I don't know you and I love you!. Here we go: kamibukurosama (109 mp3s is 100 more than what I have, my dear. Any Gluhen music in that collection?), ember-fang (thanks for the name!), Ayako (I will never forget the "genki darts of doom"!), fei (still awaiting the next chapter of "White"), lise (yes, Schuldig will be screwed big time), Keeshe Kaldaka (Duo Maxwell Aya looks awesome in his eyecatch! That feminine lavender shirt he wears, on the other hand...), Cherub Katan (my first reviewer when FFN came back up after being a *** to me!), Neptican (my 100th reviewer!) some reader I cannot remember the name of (gomen, I hope you read the rest of the story soon to get the answer to your question), Ryia Jen Rowen (it's been a while since I heard from you), and White Rose (still waiting to see next part of your neko Weiß fic). Also, lady flame (Love the Schwarz idea!) and Kitty Kat (oh, God, those outtakes...sometimes they're lame as hell but sometimes they are so funny. Like what Ken yells to Shoen during their fight. "WHIP IT GOOD, BABY!" That had me in stitches!) on mediaminer.org.  
  
Also, two more concerns to address. (I swear, I'll get to the fic soon!) First, Sakura noticing the changes. Well, when you think about it, would anyone expect Ken...dear sweet Ken...to be chasing Omi? I'm sure even Tot of Schrient would see something weird with the picture...uh, scratch that! It's a bad example! Look, the point is, Sakura has every right to be suspicious. If I were her, regardless how dumb I may be, I would notice a few changes myself.  
  
Second concern, is whether or not I will do a Schwarz version. I've actually given two other people permission to do a Schwarz switch fic so if you see one of those, it won't be from me. However, if they forget about it, maybe I'll write the sequel to "Switch" starring them. But it won't be out for awhile.  
  
Now we can begin the fic...  
  
***  
  
The rain was still pouring but not as hard when 'Omi' was finally forced to go to school. 'Ken' didn't kill him though. Instead he sent the poor boy (former man) off to school with a few harsh words and sharp nails pinching into his skin again. 'Omi' had a feeling that the real Ken didn't cut his nails very often because now they were sharper than ever. Perhaps they grew overnight or something. Nevertheless, he dragged himself to school with very little enthusiasm. He decided not to tell 'Ken' about the other girls he made dates with.   
  
"Have a good day at school!" 'Ken' told 'Omi' as he walked out the door. Then he smiled wickedly. "And if you fail that exam..."  
  
"Bite me!" 'Omi' snapped before slamming the door to the flower shop. 'Ken' sighed and smiled. It was good to tease 'Omi' like that. He finally could get back at all the times 'Omi' made fun of him. Thank goodness the real Ken did *not* cut his nails on a regular basis. They were becoming useful weapons now. It would be one of the few things he would miss when he switched back to normal. No, *if* he switched back to normal. As fun as it was being 'Ken', he *did* miss being Omi.   
  
Everyone watched as 'Omi' headed off towards school in the disgusting weather. 'Ken' had gone upstairs to putter around in his room to get ready. His shift would start soon while the other two took a break. All the schoolgirls were gone as was Sakura, still somewhat in the dark about what happened. So 'Aya' and 'Yohji' had time to spend alone and once again, 'Aya' lost the bet.  
  
"You're just too good, koi." He sighed. "Where do you want to go?"  
  
"Nowhere." 'Yohji' said looking at the gray mess outside. "And I didn't win completely. Omi harmed Yohji so you get to choose what we should do while we're alone."  
  
That made 'Aya' very happy. He got out of his chair, knocking it down in the process. "Oh, I know what I want to do! You can wait in my bedroom, koi. I'm going to find the tapes."  
  
'Yohji' glared at him. "We are *not* going to watch "The Big Green" and that soccer match again, are we?"  
  
"Hey, you said we get to do what *I* want to do!" 'Aya' pouted.   
  
'Yohji' regretted his decision. With a sigh, he got up and gave in. "Fine. Bring the tapes and bring me some chocolate ice cream. I'll wait for you. "  
  
"Yay!" 'Aya' skipped off happily to get his favorite movie and favorite soccer match that he had taped two years before. He also got two bowls of ice cream, chocolate for 'Yohji' and strawberry for himself [1]. Poor 'Yohji' had to endure this for a couple of hours but he promised to try and enjoy this moment with his Ken (or himself, depending on how anyone saw it). Minutes later, they were both sitting in the real Ken's bedroom, watching the soccer match first. It was 'Yohji's' third time seeing it (at this point, he wanted someone to shove his own katana into his gut) and 'Aya's' 2357th time watching it. He kept bouncing up and down, making 'Yohji' fear that the strawberry ice cream his lover was eating would soon fly out of the bowl and land on 'Aya's' orange sweater. He sat quietly on the floor, eating his own chocolate ice cream, not really caring who the hell was winning. He already knew and that's the reason he wasn't getting excited. 'Aya', on the other hand,...  
  
"C'mon! C'mon! Kick it in the goal! Kick it in the goal!" 'Aya' whispered, shoving his spoon into his mouth. Then his violet eyes widened. "Oh, that's cold ice cream!"  
  
"That's why it's called *ice* cream." 'Yohji' sighed, watching as the players scamper on the TV and then finally someone kicked the ball into the goal. There were screams from the TV and screams from 'Aya' who did the worst thing possible now. As he was dancing in joy, the strawberry ice cream *did* spill out and landed on the orange sweater! 'Yohji' saw that and sent a death glare in 'Aya's' direction. 'Aya' was too busy dancing to care about the blotch on his sweater. His team was winning after all!  
  
"Yeah, two to one! We're now winning, two to one!" He whooped, dropping more ice cream onto his jeans. 'Yohji' bristled once again. Why, oh why, was his lover a messy eater?  
  
"C'mon, love! Dance with me!" Before 'Yohji' could protest, 'Aya' pulled him off the floor and swung him around. All 'Yohji' could pay attention to were the splotches on his favorite orange sweater and jeans. Oh, 'Aya' was going to pay for that! How dare he do that to his favorite sweater! 'Yohji' pulled away in fury and sat down on the bed. He scooped up the remote and paused the game. Poor 'Aya' was disappointed.  
  
"You are no fun sometimes." He complained, pinching 'Yohji's' scowling face and squishing his face together. "C'mon, koi. Turn your frown upside down."  
  
"Do you *want* me to stab you?" 'Yohji' snapped.  
  
"Well, technically, it should be 'strangle' cause you are..."  
  
"I know whose body I'm in!" 'Yohji' exploded. 'Aya' backed away slowly, letting go of his lover (technically Yohji's) face. 'Yohji's' face was turning red from all that anger that had been bottled up from the past few days, thanks to his lover scratching up his car and now destroying his sweater. 'Aya' picked up his bowl and began to eat, 'Yohji' never taking his now jade eyes off him. His lover started watching that silly game and getting upset when the other team also scored a goal. He watched again in horror as 'Aya' dribbled more strawberry ice cream down that sweater.  
  
"Will you eat like a normal person for a change?!" He demanded, his patience growing thin.  
  
'Aya' looked at him, taking the spoon out of his mouth. "What's wrong, koi?"  
  
"Look." 'Yohji' pointed to the splotches on the orange sweater. Strawberry ice cream left a strange colored stain on it. "You ruined my favorite turtleneck." He continued in a dangerously quiet voice.  
  
"Oh, sorry. Although, I must admit, the stains actually make the sweater look better." 'Aya' said, checking out the messy sweater. 'Yohji' fumed when he heard that comment. Why did 'Aya' insist on testing his patience today?  
  
"Are you saying that my sweater is ugly?"  
  
"No! I'm just saying it...ah, forget it! I guess I should take it off, huh?" 'Aya' began peeling the dirty sweater off to reveal a nicely toned, pale white chest underneath. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and almost fainted. 'Aya' was so beautiful! Oh, he knew that already. But that chest, that well-toned abdomen, his strong arms...so fine and sturdy. He began running his hands across his body, feeling every curve and cupping some of the warm flesh that was part of 'Aya's' stomach. Even it was sturdy and hard despite all the chocolate he ate. His white skin was smooth without a rash or pimples to ruin it. When they were still in their old bodies, 'Aya' always nuzzled up against his lovers chest and always tried comparing it something poetic, even though he wasn't a poetic person. Now he was feeling poetic again, looking at that milky-white skin and strong frame. Oh, a sculptor would have a field day if he ever decided to make a statue of Aya Fujimiya. His violet eyes were soft with a flash of astonishment in them, adding the perfect touch to the redhead's reflection in the mirror.  
  
Meanwhile, 'Yohji' was trying hard to keep himself from asking 'Aya' to take off his pants. Even though he was looking at himself, it was still tempting. Was this what his lover saw every night? Lucky him. Before 'Yohji' could control himself, he saw that 'Aya' had noticed the stain on his jeans and also began to take them off. Soon his lover was wearing nothing but plaid boxers. 'Yohji' didn't even know he had these boxers to begin with.   
  
"So what do I do with the dirty clothes?" 'Aya' asked, holding up the orange sweater and jeans. 'Yohji' didn't answer because he was too busy admiring 'Aya'...or himself.   
  
"Koi?"  
  
"Yes?" 'Yohji' asked in semi-dreamy voice, too busy looking at 'Aya's' (his own) chest.  
  
"What do I do with the dirty clothes?"  
  
"Throw 'em away." 'Yohji' was starting to act like the real Yohji, which scared 'Aya'.   
  
"Huh? But this is your favorite sweater!"  
  
"Wha...oh yes! Oh yes!" 'Yohji' snapped back into reality. He glared at his half-naked lover. He grabbed that sweater and inspected the stains on it. Oh good, they could be washed out. Still he was furious to see such a beautiful piece of clothing ruined by sloppy eating habits. 'Aya' knew his lover was mad so he turned bright red.  
  
"You will pay for this along with the car." 'Yohji' whispered. Unfortunately, it wasn't one of those sweet, gentle whispers he used whenever he and 'Aya' were together. It was a quiet angry one. That whisper meant that 'Aya' was very lucky to still be standing because on regular circumstances, he would be dead by 'Yohji's' hand.  
  
"I know, I know." 'Aya' groaned. "It's stupid Yohji's fault! If he didn't try to make me drive..."  
  
'Yohji's' ears perked up. "Wait! *Yohji* told you to drive my Porsche?!"  
  
"Um...yeah. He was the one who suggested taking it out in the first place." 'Aya' realized he was getting 'Omi' in trouble cause now 'Yohji' sat back and looked grim, clasping his hands and pressing his fingers against his knuckles until they turned white.  
  
"Well", He began, "this changes the whole perspective of the situation, doesn't it?"  
  
"Wha...what are you going to do?"  
  
'Yohji' smiled wickedly. "I'm not going to say."  
  
'Aya' smiled back with relief. "Does that mean I'm off the hook?"  
  
"No." 'Yohji's' face went back to being pissed off again. "You *did* scratch the car. And you still have to pay for ruining my sweater, which you will do now. I want it washed and the stain must *not* be visible! It should look as good as new. Run it through the machine as many times as you have to but I want that stain OUT."  
  
With the emphasis on 'out', it was clear what 'Aya' had to do. So the punishment of the ruined sweater wasn't that bad. Of course, it may have been just the beginning of a series of bad things to happen. Figuring that he shouldn't try to complain about it, 'Aya' pushed the dirty clothes to the side.  
  
"I'll clean them after the game." He insisted. 'Yohji' was about to yell at him but then he remembered 'Aya' wearing nothing but those plaid boxers. Oh, what the hell! The sweater could wait. It was much more fun watching 'Aya' bounce around half-naked. So 'Yohji' watched the rest of the game in silence, licking his ice cream spoon clean, and trying hard not to drool at the site of his half-naked lover (technically himself) going crazy over a soccer game.   
  
This was the problem with being in Yohji's body. Everything, including his own body, was irresistible.   
  
***  
  
"You'll take me out later like you promised, Tsukiyono-san?" One girl that 'Omi' had met yesterday asked. For a moment, he couldn't remember her but then he did and he nodded. He wasn't one to disappoint a lady, especially if she was younger than eighteen. He winked at her.  
  
"You bet, baby." He threw in a charming smile. The girl was slightly confused but nodded and went back to join her friends who were talking in the back. Meanwhile, 'Omi' went back to cramming for this exam. Stupid little chibi! Why didn't he mention this exam earlier? He didn't want to fail cause that would put the real Omi's grades in jeopardy. Plus his teacher would realize something was wrong if 'Omi Tsukiyono' failed this exam. They already gave him weird looks 'Omi' apparently lost himself in the hallways. He didn't the real Omi's schedule and as a result, was wandering around a lot. Luckily, he found a couple of friends that Omi had in more than one class. They helped him out even though they wondered how he could forget where his classes were.   
  
Somehow, through the confusion and insanity, 'Omi' made it to the right classes. Now the moment had come for him to take that so-called exam. Everyone quickly fell quiet and got seated as the teacher made his way into the room. 'Omi' said a little prayer (something he was doing a lot these days) as the teacher began talking.  
  
"Make sure your answers are clear and logical." He said as the test was being passed around. "I want to see how you came to that answer, not just the answer itself. You may begin whenever you get your exam."  
  
'Omi' got his exam and almost died right there. There were about twenty questions on that page. He knew nothing! How was he supposed to give a clear and logical answer when he didn't even know what the question was asking? Were all of the exams like this? For a moment, 'Omi' thought about looking at the other kid's paper and copying. But that was plain wrong. The real Omi would then dig those nails deep into his flesh *and* draw blood. So 'Omi' did the best thing he could and began to bias all his answers.  
  
He had only come to the fifth question when more than half the students turned in their papers. He wondered how they could all finish their paragraphs so quickly. But, then again, good students took time to look over their stuff. Besides, the teacher wanted logical and clear answers. And, even though 'Omi' didn't know what he was talking about, it sounded more or less clear.  
  
He was on the tenth question when a few more students finished. How did they all finish so quickly? Oh well. He would take time. It wouldn't hurt being last.  
  
The second-to-last student finished his exam while 'Omi' was still on the fourteenth question. The students at that point noticed how long 'Tsukiyono-kun' was taking to write his exam. 'Omi' ignored them and went on.  
  
"Has everyone finished?" The teacher asked.   
  
"No, I'm still working, sensei." 'Yohji' remembered to add the 'sensei' in, knowing that's what the real Omi would say.  
  
The teacher raised an eyebrow as a couple of girls giggled in the back. "Honestly, Tsukiyono-kun, how long does it take to complete a math exam?"  
  
Math exam? 'Omi' flipped through the pages of the exam to find out that all his questions were indeed math questions! Here he was, writing essays for a math exam! He should have read the questions a little better.   
  
*Aw, damn! The chibi's gonna have my ass on a plate!* 'Omi' realized. He figured he should try to solve the math problems. There were only six more to go anyway. No wonder the teacher said to show all work.   
  
'Omi' finished right on time, making up answers for the last six problems. He handed in the exam, his face flushed with embarrassment.   
  
"Ah, thank you, Tsukiyono-kun." The teacher said, taking the exam. "I hope you didn't try solving all the problems."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You did remember to omit three questions, didn't you?"  
  
*Now he tells me.* 'Omi' felt a headache coming on. He suddenly remembered why he hated school in the past. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to endure this any longer.  
  
***  
  
"Aya-kun? Ken-kun? I need to…ah!" 'Ken' opened the door to find a half-naked 'Aya' cuddled up next to a fully clothed 'Yohji', watching "The Big Green". The site of seeing them together didn't shock him but he felt bad on interrupting them in the first place. He immediately closed the door. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't know you…"  
  
"What do you need, Omi?" 'Aya' asked from behind the closed door.   
  
'Ken' took a deep breath and forced the image of 'Aya' in his boxers out of his head. "I just wanted to know if I have to play with the spawn of the devil again."  
  
"The who?"  
  
"You know", 'Ken' made a face, "those children you play with."  
  
"Omittichi, why are you calling them 'spawn of the devil'? Only earlier, you were complaining about Yohji calling your darts 'the genki darts of doom'."  
  
"That was different! Those kids really are spawn of the devil!"  
  
"Well, if it's still raining, cancel the lesson. If not and the ground is dry, you're going out there, whether you like it or not!"  
  
"No, Ken-kun! Anything but that!"  
  
"Sorry, Omi."  
  
"I hate you." 'Ken' muttered, turning away. He hoped that Kritiker would have an answer to switching them back soon. He never wanted to play with those children again and the sooner he got back into his body, the better he would feel.   
  
***  
  
"I'm dead." 'Omi' moaned, as he sat in the only dry park bench. He should have gone home but now he wanted time for himself. The day took a turn for the worse when he sat on a wet bench, soaking his ass up. He had to wrap 'Omi's' jacket around his waist so the ladies wouldn't make fun of him. By now, the rain had stopped so more people were out. 'Omi' watched two little kids playing in the sand. One of them was throwing stuff into the other one's hair. Off to the side, there was a couple walking hand in hand. Then to the left, several little kids were trying to fly a badly made kite. And right across from 'Omi' was a woman, well over eighteen and very beautiful, sitting on a bench and reading a book. More than anything, he wanted go over there and win her over with his good old Kudou charm. Then he remembered he was Omi Tsukiyono, not Yohji Kudou. And he was in enough trouble already. Smoking in Aya's car, driving Aya's car without telling him, picking up too many underage girls, most likely failing Omi's exam, making Omi look a like a fool in front of his classmates, etc. It was probably best to leave this woman alone. Besides, he needed to think about how to explain the bad grade, when it came, to the real Omi.  
  
"I'm dead. I'm so dead." He murmured. "He's going to kill me."  
  
"Aw, the kitten's upset that everyone's going to kill him? Well, I'll do them a favor. I'll relieve them of that job."  
  
'Omi' turned around, recognizing that voice at once. He now wished he had some genki darts of doom to save his ass cause the next few moments would be pure hell. He didn't have to be intelligent to know who was talking to him.  
  
"Get lost!" He snarled, making sure no one else heard him. There was no need to bring these other people into this mess.  
  
"I can't, kitten. You're sitting there, all pretty and innocent. I'm bored and I need to bother someone. So I choose to bother you!"  
  
'Omi's' face darkened as the grinning Schwarz telepath Schuldig stepped out of his hiding place.   
  
TBC... (Ah, I love leaving you all at cliffhangers!)  
  
***  
  
[1] Oh, fei, I hope you don't mind! I loved your story "Strawberry and Chocolate" (or was it "Chocolate and Strawberry"? I can't remember the title-_-0) and I *slightly* incorporated the chocolate and strawberry ice cream deal in here. I really hope you don't mind.  
  
(Ah, I know Schuldig has not manipulated 'Omi' yet. He just stepped out of the shadows and I promise you, 'Omi's' not going to make anything easy for him. The big Weiß/Schwarz battle is going to come soon. More than likely, it'll be the next chapter. I'm sorry there was not much 'Ken' (Omi) in this one. I'll make up for that. Is Yohji still doomed? (Duh) Will Aya ever realize that his orange sweater is a fashion no-no? (Well, I kind of like that sweater cause I have one like it...) Will Ken figure out that there are other things to life than soccer and Aya? (Probably not) And will they have another mission? (Oh yeah. Oh yeah) Find out in chapter 10!  
  
I must say now, I like the glasses Ken wears now in Gluhen (which replaced the goggles). Yeah, I'm dying to watch it. Though I'll never write the boys as Gluhen characters, I still want to cut that piece of hair out of Omi's face, I want Yohji with long hair again, and I still hate Ken's pants, I'm dying to watch it.   
  
Schu: And that ending theme...that was something! Brad was crying on me cause he was nostalgic!  
  
Brad: I was *not* crying!  
  
Schu: Oh, really? Your glasses misted over cause you were crying so hard. And then you leaned on me, going "Oh Schuldig! That was so touching!" and you left this wet spot on my jacket! I can't tell whether it's tears or drool!  
  
Brad: I don't cry and I don't drool!  
  
Schu (mimics Brad): Schuldig, that is the most beautiful thing I ever saw! Oh no, I'm drooling! Forgive me, Schu. Everything's just so touching!  
  
Me: I better close this now. Sorry I took forever to update. I had guests coming over this weekend and FFN went down for sometime (grrr) so this got pushed back a little. Well, here it is! More Schwarz on the way! And I know, you all wanted a smutty RanKen scene, but this story ain't PG for nothing. I promise when the sequel to "WSIR" comes out, there will be plenty of smut for you to enjoy. For now, review! Keep me inspired and confused, people! No flames, thank you. But do be kind to press that review button and leave me a line. Later! Ja ne! 


	11. Chapter 10: How to Royally Mess Up Telep...

Switch   
  
Chapter 10: How to Royally Mess Up Telepaths and Destroy an Orange Sweater  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it, oh no! For eight chapters, I was spelling the name wrong so I was punished. Well, I got it right: Weiss Kreuz. Still, I am not allowed to own it. (Mr. Takehito! Why?!)  
  
Summary: Ken in Aya, Aya in Yohji, Yohji in Omi, and Omi in Ken…yup, they were switched on one of the most dangerous missions of all time! (Okay, it wasn't dangerous but they were screwed nonetheless)  
  
Pairings: As we all know, I love RanKen. Therefore this story has…RanKen! And for the first time, I will actually play a theme song for this story! *Begins playing "Velvet Underworld" very badly on piano (Yes, I really know how to play that!) All the guys cover their ears except for Farfie who is happy and applauding.*  
  
Farfie: More, more! Your playing is hurting God's ears!  
  
Me: He he he…welcome back one and all! Wow, who knows how long it's been since I updated this story? God, I can't remember! Anyway, sorry for the delay. School, piano lessons, social life, other fics…you name it, it's getting in the way. But here I am! When we last left off, 'Aya' destroyed the orange sweater by dumping his strawberry ice cream on it. 'Yohji' is ready to kill him for that. His punishment: wash the sweater (but you know me. I have to push things a *little* further). 'Omi' went to school and screwed up the exam. Evidently, you do not write essays for math exams. 'Aya' admires his half-naked body in the mirror (as does 'Yohji') and Schu finally confronts 'Omi' in the park.   
  
Changed my mind…big Schwarz battle later, not now. A stupid cold is keeping me from coming up with what to do in the battle. Plus I'm going to have a hard time writing Farfie. I like making him silly, not his true, cruel insane self. Ah, I love making fun of Yohji in this fic. (And no, I'm not bashing him. I like Yohji and I think it's fun to tease him along with the others) Well, I talked enough for now.  
  
Here's how to differentiate thoughts and speech ( I don't think I did this before):  
"blah"- person speaking  
*/blah/*- person telepathically talking  
*blah*- person thinking  
  
Thanks to my beloved readers: CherubKatan (Schu gets screwed, I promise), Ayako (yes, genki darts of doom shall save the future!), Taline (thanks for the website), Neptican (ah, I'm flattered you like it), kamibukurosama (you have the entire opening and ending songs of Gluhen?), fei (ah! And I was so looking forward to reading the next chapter of "White!"), Ryia Jen Rowen (Yup, 'Omi's' dead all right), Fuyukaze-Yuki (I remembered! Oh my God, I remembered your penname!), Jenny ("Whip it good, baby!"-I'll never get over that), and Muchacha (Brad's gonna be in here, don't worry)  
  
Without further ado, the fic…  
  
***  
  
'Ken' handed the young lady the bouquet of roses she had purchased along with her receipt. "Thank you and I hope you visit us once again."  
  
The woman nodded and waved to him as she left the shop. He waved back and turned around to see 'Yohji' and 'Aya' coming down the stairs. Both looked disheveled and 'Ken' knew why. 'Aya' had found a black T-shirt and jeans to wear, which were a huge departure from the orange sweater. He had plans of washing that sweater soon. 'Ken' sighed and leaned across the counter.  
  
"It's about time! Yohji-kun never showed up for his shift so I had to fill in for him." He explained. He was still mad at stupid Yohji for making him work all afternoon. "You know, I didn't get to eat lunch today? Where is he anyway?"  
  
'Aya' frowned. "Are you saying he isn't back from school yet?"  
  
"No! I swear I'm going to kill him before we switch back to normal. And where were you two? You were supposed to be down here an hour ago!"  
  
'Aya' gulped and looked at his lover, who showed no emotions once again. 'Ken' was right. Their shift started an hour ago but the two of them were so caught up in watching "The Big Green" (or rather they were caught up in admiring Aya's beautiful body), they forgot all about work.   
  
"Sorry, Omittichi." 'Aya' apologized. "We got caught up in certain things, if you know what mean."  
  
'Ken' nodded. "Yes I do. But what happened? I thought you were afraid to come close to Aya-kun because he's in Yohji-kun's body."  
  
"I know and I still feel that way. It's just…just…"  
  
"You had a beautiful body." 'Yohji' finally spoke. 'Aya' looked puzzled and 'Ken' was completely lost.  
  
"Me? But that's your body! I can understand me admiring it but you? It's just not…oh my God! Were you…were you getting horny looking at your own body?" 'Aya' was amazed. So Aya Fujimiya was a vain person? It was very interesting. Then again, it was also something 'Aya' had learned when he got into this relationship…the longer you stayed with someone, the more things you'd find out about them that you never knew before.   
  
'Yohji' smirked uncharacteristically. "No. It's just I think I'm starting to act too much like Yohji now. It must be because I'm in his body. You have no clue what goes on in here."  
  
'Aya' smiled. "Why? Is it always interesting in his body?"  
  
"Never a dull moment, if you know what I mean."  
  
"Okay!" 'Ken' held up his hands and backed away from the counter. "I'm leaving before the conversation continues! I'm taking a break because I *need* it! And when Yohji-kun comes in, send him upstairs so I can kill him."   
  
'Ken' took off the blue apron he was wearing and put it back where it belonged. Then he went upstairs to rest, leaving the shop in the hands of 'Aya' and 'Yohji'. They got their own aprons ('Aya' accidentally picking out the light-blue one until 'Yohji' pointed out his mistake and handed him the green one) and waited for any late customers to come in. Meanwhile, 'Aya' was thinking of the orange sweater. Washing it would be no problem...provided that the washing machine chose to behave today. They had problems with it earlier. It shrunk many of Yohji's favorite shirts. Another time, it chewed up Omi's shorts. Only 'Yohji' (technically Aya) knew how to make that machine work and all his clothes came out unharmed. As for 'Aya' (Ken), there was only a 50% chance that machine would behave for him. He'd get to work on washing it in an hour and he could only pray that nothing went wrong this time.   
  
Who knew what his lover would do should something happen to his favorite sweater?   
  
***  
  
"Hello there, bishie." Schuldig sneered, greeting 'Omi' as he emerged from his hiding place. Ah, now things were going his way! He had been going crazy from hearing all the boring thoughts from boring people and decided to find someone new to mess with. What he hadn't expected to find was a member of Weiß lingering around. That was even better. 'Chibi torture', as he secretly called it, was always fun.  
  
"What do you want?" 'Omi' demanded, pressing his hands against his hips. He suddenly found something about Omi's body that he liked: the chibi had some nice hips. They were perfectly curved and didn't jut out the way some people's hips did. In fact, 'Omi' was growing a little envious of them. He almost wished that he could get his own hips to be as soft but well shaped like the younger boy's. But now was not the time to be admiring Omi's hips. Schuldig was here and he had to take care of him.  
  
*/What do you think I'm here for, bishie? I want to play. Like I said, I'm bored./* Schuldig telepathically sent back the answer, that smirk never disappearing from his face. 'Omi' bristled but stood his ground. No way was he going to let Schuldig sneak into his mind and hurt him. Unfortunately, he didn't know what else to do but keep the guy talking telepathically. Plus he had a date tonight and didn't want to be late for that.  
  
All of a sudden, Schuldig turned pale and the grin disappeared from his face. He decided to peer into the chibi's mind and was shocked with what he heard. He didn't believe it. */Balinese?/*  
  
"Uh...do I *look* like Balinese to you?" 'Omi' answered back. Then, in a low voice, he continued. "I'm what Balinese calls me, The Genki Assassin of the Year. I'm Bombay. Can't you tell ?"  
  
The kid had a point. He looked like Bombay, talked like Bombay...hell, he even wore Bombay's clothes. He had the large blue eyes and that genki composure that Bombay was famous for. But his thoughts...his thoughts were that of Balinese's! Something was not right here.  
  
*/Who are you? What's going on?!/* Schuldig demanded.   
  
"I told you who I am already. Everything's fine. You're just messed up." 'Omi' used Schuldig's confusion to his advantage. It was a silent standoff between the two. If anyone cared to see what was going, they'd be a little confused themselves. They couldn't hear thoughts like Schuldig. What they would be thinking was why two young men would have a staring contest in the middle of a park.   
  
Meanwhile, Schuldig was getting a headache. Bombay was the one staring at him with that evil genki grin. Yet Balinese's thoughts were the ones he was coming up with anytime he dove into the kid's head. Not to mention Bombay's attitude had changed. It was more like Balinese's. But how was that possible? It was almost as if Balinese was living inside Bombay! The world swirled around Schuldig as he tried to put the pieces together. Balinese...Bombay...who was this kid?  
  
*/I'm not playing your game anymore, bishie! What the hell do you think you're doing?/*  
  
"I did nothing. I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"You're lying!" Schuldig snarled, getting out of telepathic mode and getting ready to pounce the blonde boy.   
  
"Am I?" 'Omi' blew at the tips of his fingernails. That's another thing he was starting to like; the fingernails smooth and clean. "I look like Bombay, don't I? How can I think like someone else, huh?"  
  
'Omi' realized that *he* was the one messing with the telepath's head...and it was fun! No wonder Schuldig enjoyed doing that! He just stood there, hands squeezing his (Omi's) nicely shaped hips, and waited to see what the Schwarz telepath was going to do. The smile kept getting wider on his face. Still, he wished he had some genki darts to get rid of Schuldig at the moment. He still had his date and she was supposed to come any minute...  
  
"Omi-kun!"  
  
Now.   
  
'Omi' and a very stressed out Schuldig turned around to find a teenage girl waving at them. 'Omi' gave her a warm smile back rather than a grin. That would screw Schuldig up even more because the real Omi would never call out to a girl. (Of course, neither did the real Yohji. He'd kill the type of guy who'd do that. But the real Omi wouldn't grin like a flirting maniac so he made sure he didn't do that.)  
  
"I think I'm through talking to you." He told the confused telepath. "Now, if you excuse me, that young lady needs my help in math. I was waiting for her and now she's here. See ya' later."  
  
With that, 'Omi' threw another genki smile in Schuldig's direction and went to join the girl. The German watched as the two teenagers walked off together. His head throbbed from the sudden thoughts that poured from the chibi. Bombay had Balinese's thoughts? How the hell did that happen? Schuldig couldn't answer it now. He just wanted to go home, take some of Brad's aspirin, and think over what happened. There had to be an explanation. Rubbing his face and massaging his temples, Schuldig decided to leave. He had some news for the rest of Schwarz, all right.   
  
And maybe, they could figure out what was wrong because he sure as hell couldn't.   
  
***  
  
"So this is the stain." 'Aya' murmured, looking at the brown splotch he left on his lover's favorite sweater. 'Ken' was sitting across from him, reading "The Dead Zone" but looking up every now and then to see 'Aya' was doing [1]. That washing machine was a bitch sometimes. 'Ken' hated it because it had a tendency to turn his shorts into confetti. 'Aya' also looked over at the machine and came up with a brilliant idea. He let the machine fill up with water and soap while he took the orange sleeves, tying up the sweater into a ball. 'Ken' put the book down and watched in horror at what the older boy was doing.  
  
"A...Ken-kun? What are you doing?" He asked as the orange sweater now became an orange ball. 'Aya' began kicking the orange clump around.  
  
"Ah, Omittichi, I'm waiting for the machine to fill up. I'm getting bored though. Maybe practicing my kicks will pass time away." 'Aya' tossed the sweater up and down.  
  
"Uh...I don't think you realize this, Ken-kun, but...that's not a ball. That's Aya-kun's sweater. Do you know what he will do to you if he catches you kicking it around like that?"  
  
"He's not going catch me. And besides, if I get it dirtier, I'll just run it through the wash. No harm will come to it or me."  
  
"I wouldn't be sure about that." 'Ken' said, going back to the book. "Speaking of soccer, what time do I have to go see the spawn of the devil?"  
  
"Oi, Omittichi, stop calling them that! And you have to go in an hour and half. The rain stopped and the field is probably dry enough to play on."  
  
'Ken' winced and turned back to the book. "I was afraid you would say that. At least, Mr. King's story isn't quite as frightening as playing with those brats."  
  
"Omi!"  
  
"I'm serious! I can't handle another day with them!"  
  
"So you had one bad day. It'll get better, I promise. They'll like you."  
  
"That's cause they think I'm you." 'Ken' murmured, flipping a page in the book. 'Aya' shrugged and continued to toss the orange sweater around. The machine was almost ready so he kicked his makeshift soccer ball one last time. Unfortunately, he kicked it in the wrong direction. He kicked towards the bathroom and the bathroom door was wide open. The clump of orange went flying towards the bathroom and towards the toilet seat, which was still up. 'Aya' ran off to catch it but it was too late.   
  
It landed with a small *splash* in the toilet.   
  
'Ken' walked over to the bathroom and put his hand to his mouth. 'Aya's' jaw fell open as he stared at the ball of orange floating in the dirty toilet water. Then the two exchanged horrified looks. Oh, this was not good.  
  
"O...Omi?" 'Aya' began, trying to take the sweater out of the toilet. He grabbed one of the dry parts and held it up. The water dripped from the sweater and down back into the toilet bowl. "What...what do I do?"  
  
"Wash that thing and pray Aya-kun never finds out about what you did?"  
  
"Easier said than done." 'Aya' moaned, holding the orange sweater by the dry side and carrying it over to the rumbling washing machine. The sounds were not pleasant. That washing machine was notorious for doing something against everyone, except Aya's, will. Perhaps it would also be fooled and behave for him. So he dropped the orange sweater in the machine and watched as it disappeared into the soapy bubbles.  
  
He never saw it again.  
  
***  
  
"Brad! Braddy!" Schuldig burst into the room once again where Crawford was sitting on the couch and reading the newspaper. He put it down the moment he saw Schuldig make a beeline for his drawer and pull out the bottle of aspirin. He let out a sigh of relief and opened the bottle.  
  
"May I ask why you want to use my aspirin?" Crawford inquired, frowning at the German who was pulling out one too many caplets. He picked up the glass of water sitting on the desk and drank some, holding it in his mouth. Then he swallowed the two caplets. He took another sip of Crawford's water before talking.  
  
"I had a headache, Braddy." Schuldig explained, joining the clairvoyant on the couch. "I had a headache and it's all thanks to that stupid kitten."  
  
"You ran into who?" Crawford demanded, putting the newspaper down.   
  
"Bombay...no, it was Balinese...no, it was...ah, Braddy, you're bringing my headache back again!" Schuldig rubbed his temples. "I think I need another aspirin."  
  
"Don't." Crawford said, burying his nose back in the newspaper. "Too much medication isn't good for you."  
  
Schuldig snickered and turned red. "Aw, Braddy, that was sweet of you to say that! I can't believe you're actually concerned about me!"   
  
Brad folded up his newspaper and dropped on the couch.   
  
*Why did I say that?* He wondered.  
  
*/Because you love me./* Schuldig responded telepathically, grinning at the American man.   
  
Brad glared at him. "So what happened to you? Who did you run into that gave you this headache?"  
  
"It was a Weiß kitten. But I don't know who it was."  
  
"How could you not know who it was?" Crawford asked. Secretly, though, he knew the answer. He had a feeling Schuldig would have trouble today and that his telepathy powers would be tested. He saw this happen not too long ago and it did. It was the premonition he had told Nagi about.   
  
*/Oh, so you knew?/* Schuldig asked telepathically. He crossed his arms and pouted. */Bradley, dear, you could have told me! I'd save myself the embarrassment!/*  
  
"It's only the beginning." Crawford murmured, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. He slipped them back on before continuing. "I know more will happen."  
  
"More? Like what?"  
  
Crawford was about to go into more detail on his premonition when Nagi burst into the room. He looked like he was in some sort of trouble.  
  
"I need help." He began, his voice a mix of seriousness and worry.   
  
Schuldig smirked. "What is this? Nagi-wagi needs help? Finally, something I can make fun off."  
  
Nagi glowered at him. "What happened to finding someone to mess with?"  
  
"Very long story. As for you., Nagi-wagi..."  
  
Crawford sighed as Schuldig went about pestering poor Nagi, who looked ready to push the telepath through a wall. He sensed more bad things in the future. Things he couldn't tell his own teammates about, to be specific. But they would know. Time would tell everything like always. He hoped they would be prepared cause the future wasn't looking so bright anymore.   
  
***  
'Ken' came to the field with a boost of confidence and a look of surprise. None of the little boys were there. It was time to begin practice and he was the only one at this place. Frowning, he began to search the place. This was where they usually played. Where was everyone?  
  
"Okay, spawn of the devil, what are you planning?" He murmured. Everything was a little too quiet. He imagined that one of them would pop out of the bushes and jump him. A million voices screaming "Ken-san" and dragging him to the ground was something he never wanted to do again in his life. How the real Ken Hidaka tolerated this was beyond him. He reminded himself that Kritiker would find a solution and fix them up.  
  
He kept moving around and fear mounted upon his shoulders. What if something had happened to these kids while he wasn't around? Maybe someone had kidnapped them! 'Ken' had no idea what he would tell all these parents if that was the case. He also had no idea what he would tell 'Aya' if someone hurt these little boys. He finally stopped looking around and stood under a tree. Maybe these kids were late. Yeah, that was it. These kids were...  
  
SPLOOSH!  
  
A lot of water dropped down on him, soaking 'Ken' from head to toe. He stood there, freezing and shocked, as the players all laughed from their places among the tree branches. He looked up and glared at the boys, who had been there the whole time.   
  
"Surprise, Ken-san!" They all exclaimed. 'Ken-san' turned bright-red and spit out some water that had made it's way into his mouth. He hated this surprise. The boys all began climbing down and they tackled him.  
  
"We got you! We got you!" They began chanting as they dragged him down to the ground. He was angry and wet. He was also ready to kill one of these kids. Why didn't he have some darts with him?  
  
"Very funny." He fumed, sitting up and crossing his arms. "Why did you do that anyway?"  
  
"Cause you like it!" They all screamed. 'Ken' shut his eyes. Were they always this loud?   
  
"You should have seen your face, Ken-san." One boy exclaimed. "You looked so funny!"  
  
"Don't be mad, Ken-san." Another one said. "We do this all the time. You know that.  
  
*Why me? Why was I stuck in Ken-kun's body, of all people? * 'Ken' got up and shook the water out of his chocolate brown locks. The boys began screaming and running in circles around him. The real Ken liked being doused by icy cold water? What was wrong with him? It was amazing he never got pneumonia if the kids did this 'all the time', as they claimed.   
  
"Playtime's over, guys." 'Ken' tried to act normal. "Now get serious."   
  
The kids screamed and practice finally began. 'Ken' got socked in the gut by a ball and he slipped on the mud. His patience had reached a breaking point. Soccer was not his favorite sport and he hated these little kids more than anything. Nevertheless, he tried to be as gentle and calm like the real Ken. Kids would probably spot the difference quicker than adults. The kids seemed to remain in the dark about the switch. Thank God for that.   
  
The practice went on okay. 'Ken' didn't kick the ball into the wrong goal this time. He still wasn't able to score but that was fine. As long as he didn't look like a fool, he was happy. The happy thought, however, was soon dashed. As 'Ken' tried to kick the ball away from his team's goal, he caught sight of two teenagers, a boy and a girl. He didn't recognize the girl but the boy looked all too familiar. Squinting his eyes, he saw it was 'Omi' (or himself).  
  
*What the...Yohji-kun! Is he...oh, that jerk! He's dating girls while he's in *my* body!* 'Ken' fumed and ended up kicking the ball into the wrong goal. His team groaned but he didn't care. He watched on with fury as the girl gave 'Omi' a kiss. It infuriated him to see 'Omi' using his body to pick up women younger than 18. He had made it clear this morning that he didn't want girls to hang around, not while they were switched! But Yohji, stupid Yohji, obviously didn't listen to anyone. He *still* thought he was older than them all. Arms crossed, 'Ken' ignored the whines of the little boys around him and shot poisonous looks in 'Omi's' direction.  
  
'Omi' had caught sight of 'Ken' glaring at him as did the girl he was with. She was puzzled as to why the boy she was with suddenly looked frightened and why the other one was shooting deadly looks towards them.  
  
"Omi-kun? Who is that handsome boy? And why does he look mad?" She asked.  
  
'Omi' chuckled and turned the girl away from 'Ken's' glare. "Ah, no one! Just a guy I work with! He's jealous cause I'm with you!"  
  
The girl giggled. "Oh, Omi-kun, you're so sweet! I never saw this side of you before!"  
  
'Omi' grinned. "Believe me, baby. I've got many sides for you to explore and all of them are sweet. Not as sweet as you though."  
  
The two walked away as 'Ken' burned his brown glare into their backs. Oh, he couldn't wait to get his hands on 'Omi'. The moment he did, he'd hurt him. And this time, he would use more than just the sharp fingernails.   
  
"Ken-san! Heads up!"   
  
"Huh?" 'Ken' turned around only to be whacked on the head by a soccer ball. Moaning, he fell over. Oh, why wasn't he back in his old body yet?  
  
***  
  
"I'm dead!" Both 'Omi' and 'Aya' exclaimed when they approached one another. Neither 'Yohji' nor 'Ken' was around, assuring them another few hours to live. Now, in the shop, they could confess what happened. 'Aya' looked like as if his favorite pet died. 'Omi' looked at him quizzically.  
  
"You'll never believe what happened to me." They both said again. 'Aya' was holding a bag of something in one hand, making 'Omi' curious. Nothing that happened to him could compare to being confronted by and messing Schuldig up. Not to mention a soaking wet 'Ken' catching him with that girl. He wasn't looking forward to dying right now.  
  
"What's the matter with you?" He asked. 'Aya' looked down at the ground.  
  
"Well, earlier today, I accidentally dropped ice cream on Aya's sweater."  
  
"Really?!" Suddenly, 'Omi' looked interested. From the 'Aya's' face, it seemed like what he had done was far worse than anything. More particularly, he did it to Aya's favorite (and absolutely hideous) sweater. "I'm all ears now, Kenken. Fess up."  
  
"Well, I dropped ice cream on his sweater and he told me to wash it. He didn't want the slightest trace of the stain there. So I went to wash it. While I waited for the water to fill up, I began playing...around with the sweater."  
  
"You tied it up into a ball and kicked around?!" 'Omi's' now blue eyes widened. This was not the first time 'Aya' had done something like this. But it was the first time he had done it to his lover's clothes. Miserably, 'Aya' nodded.  
  
"And I was having fun...until I kicked the sweater too hard and it went flying into the bathroom."  
  
"And?" 'Omi' inquired. 'Aya' gulped, holding onto the bag he had with him.   
  
"It fell in the toilet."  
  
"Oh, shit! You *are* dead!" 'Omi' exclaimed. He was glad someone else was going to be in trouble. Stupid Ken! How could he even think of doing that to the sweater?   
  
But 'Aya' wasn't finished. "It wasn't that big of a problem. I mean, I had to run it through the wash anyway. So I did."  
  
"So...if everything's fine, why are you so down?"  
  
'Aya' finally opened up the bag. "I never said everything was fine. You know how our washing machine is like, right? Well, I washed the sweater and this is what happened."  
  
'Omi' tried hard not let out a yelp as 'Aya' dumped chewed-up pieces of orange fabric from the bag and onto the counter .   
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
[1] Bless that man, Stephen King! I don't know how many people read "The Dead Zone" but it's probably one of my most favorite of his novels. It's one of those hidden gems, not as famous as "It" or "Cujo", but it's wonderful. One of my future RanKen stories is going to be based off that book so you might want to read it. It's not a requirement cause I won't follow the book to a T but you may understand where some of the events in the story come from.  
  
(Ah, another chapter from hell! I'm sorry it took so long. I had too many thoughts in my head and I wanted to get them all down on this chapter. I have a major headache now. Sorry if the Schwarz parts were short. I'm also sorry Farfie hasn't appeared yet. He will soon, I promise. I'll probably have another mission for the boys and a Schwarz battle then. Hopefully, I'll feel ten times better when I do write that part.)  
  
Review right now and get a video with outtakes, including this one:  
  
('Aya' and 'Yohji' eating ice cream. 'Aya' licks his spoon when Sakura suddenly bursts in, looking pissed)  
  
Me: What the...what's she doing here?!  
  
Sakura: AYA-SAN?! You told me you never tried ice cream before! I thought you didn't know how to eat it! And I thought you didn't like strawberry.  
  
'Aya' (looks at bowl of strawberry ice cream): That's cause...I'm not...Aya! That's right, I'm Ken!  
  
('Yohji' smirks in his corner)  
  
Sakura (confused): Huh?  
  
'Aya' (being truthful): That's right. I'm really Ken in Aya's body.  
  
Sakura (losing temper): DON'T LIE TO ME! I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY AYA-SAN! YOU CAN'T FOOL ME! I BOUGHT YOU ICE CREAM, REMEMBER?! And why are you with Yohji-san?  
  
'Aya' (confused and scared): Cause...I'm in love with...Yohji-san?  
  
'Yohji' (fuming): Oh really?!  
  
'Aya' (shakes his head): No, not really! I mean, I'm in love with you...and you're in...Yohji's body so I'm in love with you and...  
  
Sakura: You're confusing me, Aya-san! (Groans and puts hands to head, begins whining)  
  
Me: That's it! Restrain her!  
  
(Two people we don't care about grab the screaming Sakura and drag her out.)  
  
Schuldig: Well, now she knows how I felt like.  
  
Sakura: You're a liar, Aya-san! How could you do that to me?! I want an... (is dragged away)  
  
Me: Gomen, Sakura fans. I promise she won't be tortured. We're just having fun like always. And she really didn't belong in that scene anyway. I wrote this so fast so if it's not up to par, you know why. So I will try to write chapter 11 quickly and will have more insanity like always. I'm sure you're dying to know what happens to 'Aya' and 'Omi', huh? Reviews, no flames, thank you! 


	12. Chapter 11: Enter Neko, Koneko's New Mas...

Switch  
  
Chapter 11: Enter Neko, Koneko's New Mascot! (Or 'Aya's' Stupid Cover-up)  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it. Koyasu Takehito does. I would think of something clever for this disclaimer on any other circumstance. However, I'm too tired to do so.  
  
Summary: The boys go on a mission...get switched in one another's body...Aya is screwed, Ken abuses the chibi, Omi breaks rules, and Yohji is pissed that he doesn't have eartails anymore o_o. The insanity begins yet again!  
  
Pairings: *whispers weakly* It's shounen-ai! Ran x Ken and a little Brad x Schu (not enough to drive people crazy...as if I haven't driven you all out of your minds already, lol) RanKen forever! Plus Aya is ten times better looking than Kase! He's perfect for Ken!  
  
(*yawns* Gomen, dear readers. This has been one hectic holiday weekend for me. I haven't had the chance to sit down and write very much. Plus I've been battling depression and having people hate on me, which pissed me off. (No one here has pissed me off, don't worry). And to top it off, a winter storm came in and cut off all the power in my town for three days. I was just not in the mood to write something humorous. Well, I'm a little better now. I hope everyone else had a good holiday. Oh, I FINALLY saw Gluhen ep. 1 & 2! I wanna see number 3 now! Aya in a suit and tie, teaching history…that was cool. No Ken or Yotan and very little Omi but I don't mind. They better have grand entrances though!)  
  
Okay, let's recap: 'Aya' had to wash his lover's sweater. The baka decided to kick it around and ultimately dropped it into the toilet (evidently none of the boys ever bothers to put the seat down...not that it would matter, I guess. Maybe Momoe's the exception). Meanwhile, 'Omi' met Schu in the park and screwed our favorite telepath big time. Schuldig got a headache and joined the Schwarz again. He obviously wants revenge. 'Ken', too, wants revenge on both: the spawn of the devil for dousing him in cold water and 'Omi' for going out with yet another girl. 'Omi' and 'Aya' meet up again to see that the baka washing machine chewed up the orange sweater. Oh, are they dead or what?  
  
Well, here I am and here's another chapter. It may be short cause I'm saving up my strength for the huge Schwarz battles. Manx appears yet again and the boys have more problems. So here we go.  
  
Thanks to the reviewers: Keeshe Kaldaka, Ryia Jen Rowen, Ayako, kamibukurosama, CherubKatan, asami (no, I don't hate Ken. I don't hate any of the boys. I just like to torture them to no end like most people^^), Midori (not only did you review every chapter of this fic but every chapter of "WSIR" and some of my originals! And to make things better, you left comments in my journal! I cannot thank you enough!), Neptican, Muchacha, AngellostinDarkness, and lise. (Did I leave anyone off? I hope not. If I did, I'm sorry. I'll remember next time^^)  
  
Onto the fic...  
  
___  
  
"So the baka machine made confetti out of Aya's sweater?" 'Omi' began picking at the orange scraps on the counter. "Oh, you are dead! I mean, I've done some bad things in this body but *nothing* like this! "  
  
"What do I do, Yohji?" 'Aya' looked miserable. "He'll kill me if he sees this!"  
  
"Don't know. Well, I gotta go hide from Omi. It was nice knowing you!" 'Omi' waved and started to walk away. 'Aya' looked horrified and grabbed his arm.   
  
"Yohji, you can't leave me like this! I'll…I'll…I'll tell Omi you've been drinking!"   
  
'Omi' stopped immediately. Of course, 'Aya' was lying. He didn't know what 'Omi' had been doing while he was in this body and just said that because he couldn't think of anything else. However, 'Omi' knew a threat when he heard one. The truth was, he *had* been drinking beer while in the chibi's body. He had found some cans in the fridge and figured that some alcohol *wouldn't* hurt. He thought he had covered his tracks, never thinking that anyone would catch him. But 'Aya' knew. If the real Omi were to find out, it was goodbye Yohji Kudou. He wasn't about to let 'Aya' reveal this secret to anyone.  
  
"Okay." He backed up and turned around. "You win, Kenken. I'll help you take care of Aya if you help me take care of Omi."  
  
"Deal. First thing's first…what do I do about Aya's sweater?"  
  
"Leave that to me. I know that if I look in every dumpster in Tokyo…"  
  
"Yohji! Aya likes this sweater!"  
  
"I'm sorry but I don't think anything that hideous would be found in any clothing store."  
  
'Aya' sighed. "Look, just find a sweater similar to this. No, EXACTLY like this!  
  
'Omi' smiled. "No problem. Now can you hide me from Omi for the rest of the night?"  
  
"Why? What did you do this time?"  
  
"Um…let's see…failed his exam, met up with that weirdo from Schwarz, and dated a girl…that's all."  
  
Upon hearing that, 'Aya's' now violet eyes became large like purple saucers. "Back up, Yohji! Repeat the last thing you said."  
  
"I dated a girl?"  
  
"Before that."  
  
"I failed an exam?"  
  
"No, what you said in the middle."  
  
"I met up with a Schwarz weirdo?"  
  
"Schwarz!" The word that 'Aya' did not want to hear for a long time had unfortunately been mentioned now. He grabbed 'Omi' by the shoulders and pulled him close. "Yohji! What did they do to you?"  
  
"Amazingly enough, he did nothing! I'm the one who screwed with him…Schuldig, I think that's who it was. He tried to mess with my head and I ended up screwing him up instead. I guess he saw Omi and got confused when he heard my thoughts."  
  
"Great. Just great." 'Aya' moaned. "Now Schwarz knows something's wrong with us! Think about it, Yohji. You managed to survive when you encountered one of them. It won't be the same when they're all there."  
  
'Omi' did think about what 'Aya' said. "You have a point, Kenken. It won't be the same against all four of them."  
  
"Ken?" It was 'Yohji' calling from upstairs. 'Aya' quickly brushed off the pieces of orange cluttered on the counter. They all landed around him on the floor. 'Yohji' called him again, this time sounding like he had something in his mouth. 'Aya' shoved 'Omi' to the ground.  
  
"H..hey!" 'Omi' exclaimed and was about to say more when 'Aya' placed a hand over his mouth.  
  
"Don't talk! Stay down there and stay quiet! He'll tell Omi that you're here and you don't want that to happen, do you?"  
  
'Omi' shook his head.  
  
"I said I would save you from him and I will. Now stay there until Aya's gone."  
  
"Ken?" 'Yohji' finally came down and 'Aya' faced him, standing in front of 'Omi' and behind the counter. Now he knew why his lover sounded like he was stuffed. It was because he was stuffing his face with a giant chocolate bar! 'Aya' couldn't help but smile.  
  
"Where did you get that, love?" He asked.  
  
"Yohji's bedroom. One of his lovers sent it to him."  
  
'Omi' heard this and almost jumped out. That bastard Aya! What was *he* doing eating *his* chocolate?! 'Aya' noticed 'Omi' trembling in rage and gave him a warning look. He stayed put and listened to 'Yohji' chewing on that sweet piece of candy.  
  
"Um...love? Shouldn't you first ask Yohji if you can eat it?"  
  
"I *am* Yohji." 'Yohji' smirked, taking another bite. "Besides, it's starting to melt. Yohji would probably throw it away. But good chocolate cannot go to waste. So that's why I'm eating it."  
  
*/I would *not* throw it away!/* 'Omi' thought but didn't say it out loud. And what 'Yohji' just said was funny. Aya Fujimiya, cold and bitter Aya Fuijimiya, had a sweet tooth! Aya Fujimiya, who claimed he didn't like anyone except his sister and Ken, liked to eat sweet stuff! And not just anything but chocolate! Scowling (former) redheaded Aya liked chocolate! Oh, Ken had told him that before but he didn't believe it until now. He almost started to laugh.   
  
"So what did you come down here for?" 'Aya' asked.   
  
"Did you wash my sweater yet?"  
  
'Aya' forced himself to smile. "Not yet, love. But I'll get around to it soon."  
  
'Yohji' nodded. "That's fine as long as you don't ruin it anymore."  
  
"Oh, I won't! It'll be so clean, you'll think that I bought it brand new at a clothing store!"  
  
"Or found it in a dumpster." 'Omi' muttered. 'Aya' heard that and kicked him. 'Yohji' saw his lover jerk and was puzzled. What the hell was Ken doing?  
  
"Are you all right?" He asked.  
  
"Uh...I'm fine! Why? Does it look like I'm hiding something? Cause I'm not!" 'Aya' put his hands behind his back and tried to look innocent despite how scared he was inside. 'Yohji' raised an eyebrow and shrugged.   
  
"And has Yohji come back? Omi wants to see him."  
  
"Oh...no! No, love! I'll let you know when he does!"  
  
"Very well. And whenever you are finished, come up to my room. We have things to discuss such as_"  
  
"Your car!" 'Aya' exclaimed. He still had to take care of that scratch on Aya's car! The problem was he had been spending too much time worrying about how to deal with the sweater problem that he forgot the car completely. Even now, he still had no clue how his lover would punish him.  
  
"The car." 'Yohji' nodded. "But as I said, we'll talk about it upstairs. I'll be waiting."  
  
'Yohji' leaned across the counter to kiss 'Aya' on the cheek...and noticed a piece of orange stuck to 'Aya's' shoulder. He was praying (for 'Aya's' sake, not his) that the orange piece wasn't what he thought it was.   
  
"What's that?" He nodded towards it. "It looks familiar."  
  
'Aya' saw the piece himself and nearly passed out. How could he have missed that piece? Stupid static electricity! There was no way he could explain this. Yet he did not want to face 'Yohji's' wrath. So he had to think and he had to think fast. Finally, he came up with something.   
  
"Um...I was actually going to tell you what this is about." 'Aya' casually plucked the orange piece off his shoulder and showed it to 'Yohji'. "You know, this shop hasn't been doing as good as it used to. Despite all the girls coming in, it's not the same anymore. We need something to attract customers. We need something to save the shop."  
  
'Yohji' had a feeling 'Aya' was making up the whole thing but he had stumbled across a fact. Koneko No Sume Ie *wasn't* doing as well as it had in the past. They were falling into some economic problems and they had to be fixed. Somehow, in his babbling, 'Aya' may have come up with something to fix the problems.  
  
"Go on." 'Yohji' insisted, taking a bite of his chocolate.  
  
"I've thought about this a lot...and I know now what we need!" 'Aya' paused before dramatically announcing his brilliant plan. "We need a mascot!"  
  
There was silence for a good minute, save the creaking coming from upstairs. That was probably 'Ken' moving around. 'Omi', who had done a good job of staying quiet, felt like gagging. A mascot? What the hell was 'Aya' thinking?! 'Yohji' could only stare at 'Aya' during that minute.  
  
"A *what*?" He asked finally.  
  
"A mascot! You know...one of those cute creatures that attract people? Think about it, love. Neko, the neko of Koneko no Sume Ie! [1] People will fall for it!" 'Aya' had to admit the name was stupid but it was all he could think of. It was hard to concentrate with his chocolate-eating lover looking at him.   
  
'Yohji' frowned. "Did we have to sink *that* low to save our business?"  
  
"C'mon! People will start coming in again!"  
  
*/Either that or they'll run away screaming./* 'Omi', who was still under the counter, thought. Where the hell did 'Aya' come up with this idea?   
  
'Yohji' shook his head. "It's a bad idea. And it still doesn't explain what that piece of orange is. It looks like it came from my sweater." Then he narrowed his jade eyes and glared at 'Aya'. In the most dangerous whisper, he asked. "It *isn't* my sweater, is it?"  
  
"Oh, no!" 'Aya' exclaimed, now completely filled with fear. "This cloth...it's a...a...Neko's outfit! Yes, this is what Neko will be wearing!"  
  
"The mascot is going to wear that little thing?"  
  
'Aya' laughed nervously. "You're a riot, love! No, it's just a small part of Neko's costume. He'll be wearing a lot of stuff, I promise!"  
  
'Yohji' sighed. "You're strange, Ken." He smiled and added seductively. "And that's why I love you."  
  
He finally did kiss 'Aya', getting a little chocolate smudge on his lover's cheek. He licked it off with the second kiss he planted. 'Aya', despite how much he didn't want 'Yohji' to kiss him now, felt his knees turning into cooked noodles. Did 'Yohji' know how to kiss on the cheek or what?! He gave his lover a smile and backed away. 'Yohji' started to go back upstairs.  
  
"Remember to tell Yohji that Omi wants to see him." He reminded 'Aya'.   
  
'Aya' nodded and blew his lover a kiss. Just because he was uncomfortable with kissing 'Yohji' didn't mean he couldn't blow any kisses to his lover. He waited until 'Yohji' had disappeared and then motioned 'Omi' to stand up. The blonde was happy to oblige. He had a lot of things to say and was tired of staying quiet.  
  
"Neko, the neko of Koneko?" Was the first thing out of his mouth. "That is the stupidest cover-up I have ever heard, Kenken! And why does a flower shop need a mascot?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Yohji. It was the best I could come up with."  
  
"A mascot for a flower shop?" 'Omi' didn't seem to hear 'Aya'. He continued to complain. "That's...that's...God, I can't even think of a word to describe how crappy you idea is!"  
  
"Shut up! At least I came up with something and we're still alive!" 'Aya' threw the piece of orange aside. Then he became serious. "So do you think you can snag a sweater *exactly* like the one Aya had?"  
  
"Sure but only if you can stall Omi for some time."  
  
"Sure thing!" 'Aya' held out his hand and 'Omi' shook it. If fate was on their side tonight, they'd be able to survive a little longer. Neither 'Ken' nor 'Yohji' would be able to kill them before they switched back.   
  
***  
  
'Yohji waited until he was all the upstairs. He waited until he had made his down the hallway. He waited until he entered Ken's (the real Ken's) bedroom and shut the door behind him. 'Ken' was sitting on the half-made bed, reading Stephen King's "It". He looked like he was ready to dive into those pages and get to the end as soon as possible. 'Yohji' cleared his throat, which made 'Ken' jump and throw the book to the ground. He relaxed when he saw who it was.  
  
"Aya-kun! Don't do that! I was at a climatic part!" He exclaimed.  
  
"Sorry." 'Yohji' muttered. "I just spoke with Ken and asked him if Yohji was there."  
  
"So? What did he say?" 'Ken' asked.  
  
'Yohji' smiled cruelly. "Ken is such a bad liar. He always has been."  
  
"Yohji-kun was there?"  
  
"Oh yes. I didn't see him but I have a feeling Ken was hiding him. He had an interesting way of explaining his strange behavior."   
  
'Yohji' then went into the whole story about Neko, the neko of Koneko. 'Ken's' now chocolate-brown eyes widened and he fell into a fit of giggles. 'Yohji' also dropped his icy exterior for a moment and cracked a smile. 'Ken' shoved a pillow into his face to smother his laughs.  
  
"Our mascot?!" He exclaimed. "Oh, I have to remember that!"  
  
"Ken 'claims' it will help save the shop and attract customers." 'Yohji' rolled his eyes.  
  
"I wonder where he came up with that!"  
  
"It was his way of hiding something." 'Yohji' said knowingly, beginning to pace around the room. "He was nervous. He was trying to save himself because he did something...something to my sweater, to be more specific. I'm not sure what but I know it wasn't good."  
  
'Yohji' was growing furious at the thought of anyone ruining his sweater. He got it as a present from Aya-chan on his eighteenth birthday and he vowed that he'd never let anything happen to it. But Ken had done something to it. He dropped strawberry ice cream on it and left a stain. And the stain was probably the beginning. Ken had done something worse to the sweater and he wasn't telling anyone.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that, Aya-kun." 'Ken' apologized. "Are you planning revenge on Ken-kun?"  
  
'Yohji' thought about that for a while. Ken did drive him crazy on more than one occasion and he often had to resist the urge to kill him. But he loved the (former) nineteen-year old. Ken bought out a happiness and a sweeter side that he had cast away when Takatori destroyed his life. Ken was the only person, other than Aya-chan, to ever get close to him. Yes, there was Sakura but even she failed to bring out a gentle Aya Fujimiya. She could look like Aya-chan but she could only get *so* close to Aya himself. Ken, on the other hand, had the ability to touch Aya's frozen heart and melt it. There was no way in hell Aya could plot revenge on his lover. No way.  
  
"No." He finally answered. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to go easy on him. He's done something wrong and he has to suffer the consequences. No matter how much I love him, he has to fix what he ruined."  
  
'Ken' nodded. He only hoped that the real Ken would 'fix what he ruined' before it was too late. If he didn't, then the cliche would come true: all hell would break loose.  
  
***  
  
Back at the Schwarz headquarters, Schuldig finally told both Nagi and Crawford the full story of what happened at the park. He took some more aspirin later on and was about to have the entire bottle until Crawford stopped him. He warned the German that too much aspirin was not good for anyone and Schuldig began teasing Crawford all over again. He kept chanting "You love me!" until Crawford sent him over to get Farfarello. Now Schuldig opened the doors to Farfarello's private chambers and looked inside. The Irishman was still upside down, wrapped up in his straight jacket and not moving.   
  
"Hey, Farf! I'm going to let you out now! We've got some business to take care of." Schuldig said.  
  
Farfarello opened one amber eye. "Really?"  
  
Schuldig smiled. "You, along with Nagi-wagi and Braddy, are going to help me get my revenge on Weiß."  
  
"Revenge on Weiß?"  
  
"Yup. And if you must know", Schuldig grinned slyly, "It'll hurt God to see the little kittens beaten and bruised by us. But, of course, it's_"  
  
"I'm ready." Farfarello interrupted. Anything that involved putting God through pain sounded like fun. Farfarello wanted to be there to hurt Weiß. Schuldig smiled, knowing he had gotten his point across, and helped Farfarello out of his straight jacket. Weiß had no idea what was in store for them.   
  
***  
  
"Good evening, everyone." Manx entered the flower shop minutes after the little exchange between 'Aya' and 'Yohji' had taken place. 'Ken' and 'Yohji' also made it downstairs. 'Omi' caught 'Ken's' eye and turned away immediately. He wasn't ready to look at the younger (well, now older) boy so he ran up to Manx and grabbed her hand.   
  
"Manx, tell me you came up with something! I can't stand being in Omi's body anymore!" 'Omi' complained.  
  
Manx sighed. Bad news was always hard to give out. "I'm sorry, Balinese…or should I call you 'Bombay' instead?"  
  
"What did you find, Manx-san?" 'Ken' asked before 'Omi' could have a nervous breakdown. The poor kid (who had once been a man) looked ready to tear his hair out. "Do you think we will ever get switched back to normal?"  
  
"I've asked so many people about that, K…Omi. Not one of them knows a way to switch you back. I've been thinking about it myself and I have a feeling it has something to do with one of your previous missions. Not the last one you went on but the one before. It's around that time you were switched if I'm right."  
  
"That's correct, Manx-san." 'Ken' said. "It was in a factory, right?"  
  
"I think so. Anyway, I'll keep looking for something. You all should try and get on with your normal lives."  
  
"That's easy for you to say." 'Aya' muttered. And it was true. Manx wasn't the one who scratched Aya's car or destroyed his precious orange sweater. She didn't know what it was like to be another person's body and try to live a normal life. And missions weren't any better either. True, they had gone on only one mission but it had been hell. 'Aya' still was not used to wielding a katana. It was sheer luck that he managed to kill the target.   
  
Manx, however, seemed to realize how they all felt. "We'll fix this mess, I promise. But until a solution comes up, you'll have to wait. However, you won't be bored while you're waiting."   
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" 'Omi' asked though he knew what she meant. They all did.  
  
Manx smiled. "Mission."   
  
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
[1] I believe "Neko" means "cat" in Japanese. I know, I shouldn't be using Japanese when I don't know a whole lot of it but I thought it would be funny calling the mascot "Neko the neko of Koneko" instead of "Neko, the cat of Koneko." I don't know, my sense of humor is weird.   
  
Well, what do you know? Another chapter done! Considering this is the chapter before my final exam, I hope I did a good job. After this story, I have two more ideas in my mind. I've decided to put the lemon part of "WSIR" at mediaminer.org instead of here again. Anyway, my two ideas...first is a 2-3 part thing and complete RanKen fluff, the other is RanKen insanity. Ken has to go to the hospital and needs Ran's support is the 2-3 part thing. Ran gets hypnotized by one of the targets during a mission and is now doing strange things from stripping down in the Koneko to seducing his teammates (mainly Ken)is the insane one. I'll probably work on the hypnotized Ran one first.   
  
Once again, I apologize for my delay. The ice storm was horrible and I had to drive through it. Power went off on Wednesday night and didn't come back for us till Saturday evening. So it took me a while to get this baby onto the computer. I wrote this chapter longhand during that three day period and finally got it up.  
  
So review. No flames please. Thanks. 


	13. Chapter 12: Of Plastic Surgery, Schwarz ...

Switch   
  
Chapter 12: Of Plastic Surgery, Schwarz Fights, and Endless Confusion  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: Ah, to hell with this...it's mine, okay? (Sirens heard in background) Aw, shit! Okay, it isn't mine! It isn't mine! (There's banging on the door) Crap...  
  
Summary: During a mission, the kittens are knocked out. When they awaken, they found out that they have switched bodies! Now Aya hates liars, Ken hates celery and foolish people, Omi hates guys who harass women, and Yohji hates authority figures and, most importantly, Takatori. Will they survive? (Most likely not-_-0)  
  
Pairings: Ran x Ken with very little Brad x Schu. Won't drive you crazy though, I promise (Yup, it's shounen-ai!) Not into RanKen? Do not proceed any further. The back button is still there...  
  
***  
  
(Welcome back! Hope everyone's having a good holiday! For your pleasure, I will now proceed and give you guys a gift: the next chapter of this story. Amazingly enough, we are almost done. About 5 or 6 more chapters along with an epilogue, which will have notes, interviews, and a preview of my next story , also RanKen^_^)   
  
Anyway, recap: 'Omi' and 'Aya' have teamed up to help each other out. 'Omi' (Yohji) promises to get another orange sweater like the one the real Aya has if 'Aya' (Ken) saves him from the real Omi. (Okay, that confused the hell out of people, lol!) Brief, sweet RanKen moment with a chocolate eating 'Yohji' (Aya) confronting his lover. 'Aya' quickly covers everything up with a stupid idea: Neko the neko of Koneko, the flower shop's new mascot. It works somehow but 'Yohji' knows 'Aya' is lying. He tells 'Ken' this. Schwarz makes brief appearance. Manx has a new mission but no solution for the boys and now...the new chapter begins. Schwarz returns and a big battle begins^_^ . Will Schu be screwed? You bet!   
  
I'm writing this in the midst of another WK fic, a one-shot Yohji/Aya/Ken triangle. It's bitter, it's angst, and it has necrophilia in it. (Warning you all right now.) But I hope I won't taint you all for life.   
  
Thanks to the reviewers: CherubKatan (would Mountain Dew be considered 'the crack I was on' when I wrote this^^), fei (don't worry, I'm not mad you missed my updates), Taline (next battle will be better, I promise), lise, Ryia Jen Rowen, Jenny (yes, Gluhen was good. I downloaded it and it was subbed), Midori (thanks for all your lovely notes in my blog), Akiko Yuy, Miss Vampire, Fuyukaze-Yuki, LittleIsa, asami, Muchacha (yeah, I could tell you were in a bad mood in the last review), Neptican, Moku (I more or less got what you're saying in your review. English isn't your first language, right? It's not mine either so I understand. Anyway, Inu just doesn't have the same ring as Neko does. You do realize the outtakes are NOT a part of the fic, right? Momoe and the cat aren't important at all, the whole Neko thing was Ken's stupidity kicking in. Sorry you don't like Yohji but I'm glad you like the story^^), kamibukurosama (oooh, you're right! That IS a tongue twister!), ember-fang (I'll work on that fic first after this one, I promise) and Ayako (you DID use genki darts of doom to destroy the storm, didn't you? They are the only weapons that will suffice!)   
  
I think I got everyone. If I missed you, sorry. I'll try to get you in next time.   
  
And now the fic...  
  
***  
  
'Omi' blinked his eyes as he stared at his reflection in the window of some shop. He shook his head. That was it. Those eyes...he had to do something about those eyes, all big and blue like a baby. It gave the real Omi a sweet yet feminine appearance. Guys were not supposed to have big eyes and 'Omi' knew it. That genki look was making his stomach churn. He planned to do something about it.  
  
"I've made up my mind." 'Omi' said out loud. "If we never get switched back, I'm going to find a plastic surgeon and get these eyes fixed."  
  
'Ken' was anything but pleased to hear that. He had been too busy thinking up a plan for the group when 'Omi' made that comment. It was the first time he heard anyone talk about changing his appearance. "But...but those are *my* eyes! What's wrong with my eyes?"  
  
"They're humongous! They make you look like an owl! No lady is going to go for a guy with eyes the size of flying saucers, chibi! They'll run away from you!"  
  
"None of the women who come to the shop complain about my eyes!"  
  
"That's cause they're afraid they'll hurt your feelings." 'Omi' stared at himself a little longer. Oh yes, he needed to get that plastic surgery done. And while he was at it, he could get some colored contact lenses. The baby blue was out of style. Maybe green or purple or brown...red seemed like a nice color too. He'd make that decision later. But the eyes *needed* to be fixed. Somewhere in his old room, 'Omi' knew he had a coupon from a place where they did this stuff. He remembered one of them came with free collagen injections after the client got either their eyes fixed or liposuction. Now looked like a good time to use that coupon.   
  
'Ken' tried to keep his rage underneath. "My eyes are *not* that big, Yohji-kun!"  
  
"I beg to differ, Omittichi."  
  
"Um...I don't mean to interrupt." 'Aya' began. "But aren't we on a mission?"   
  
"He's right." 'Yohji' pushed the sunglasses up. "We came here to get the target, not listen to how Yohji is going to improve Omi's face."  
  
"I said his eyes needed to be fixed! I didn't say he needed a facelift! Although..." 'Omi' began thinking again.  
  
"No!" 'Ken' snapped before 'Omi' could say another word. Then he turned to 'Aya' and 'Yohji'. "I'm sorry, Aya-kun. Sorry, Ken-kun. I almost forgot we were on a mission."  
  
It was true. The four of them received orders from Persia to stop a group of killers who were murdering random people who had the letter E in their last names. They found this to be the silliest reason to kill someone. This didn't pertain to any of the Weiß assassins but it did affect a couple of people they knew like Sakura Tomoe. She was all right but who knew for how long? All four agreed to take the mission. The targets, however, were not identified. The faces could not be seen during the briefing. But they did get the location of where the next attack would be: at the meeting of the "We Love the Letter E" fan club. Everyone was shocked to find out there was such a thing in Tokyo but it was true. All members had E's in their names, which made them potential victims for the killers.   
  
Manx promised to keep searching for a solution to their problem. They left on the mission immediately, not giving 'Ken' a chance to yell at 'Omi' or 'Yohji' a chance to ask 'Aya' about the sweater again. This time, however, they all got into the wrong assassin clothes. Yohji's coat reached all the way to ground when 'Omi' put it on. 'Aya' looked rather strange wearing an orange sweater (which *wasn't* his) around his waist and the goggles. 'Ken' couldn't even fit into the shorts. Only 'Yohji' seemed to be dressed decently but it still looked wrong. When they saw their mistakes, they switched clothes and were now dressed properly.   
  
"All right, this is the plan." 'Ken' began.   
  
'Aya's' mouth widened into a smile. "Here it goes again! I'm going to sound..."  
  
"If you say you sound smart making plans one more time, I will seriously pop you one." 'Ken' threatened. 'Aya' shut up immediately and 'Ken' proceeded in telling everyone the plan. They all listened well, save 'Omi' who was obsessing over his looks. He kept pinching his stomach and wondering if he needed the liposuction too. He wasn't overweight but some of this fat had to go.   
  
*/You've been eating too many pockys, chibi./* He thought, poking his skin. */No wonder you come home and you're not hungry./*  
  
"Are you okay with that, Yohji-kun?"  
  
"Huh?" 'Omi' looked up. The other three waited patiently for his response. Unfortunately, he had no idea what they were talking about. "Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm okay with Omi getting collagen injections for his lips. We'll fake his age if they won't let anyone under eighteen in."  
  
'Ken' grabbed 'Omi's' sleeve and pulled him down. "Stay focused, Yohji-kun! I was asking if it was okay with you that we enter through the back while Aya-kun and Ken-kun go through the front. And what's this about my lips?!"  
  
"Nothing!" 'Omi' shook his head. "But I'll go with you."  
  
"It's settled then." 'Yohji' said, looking at his (well, technically it *wasn't* his) watch. Of all of them, he knew how to use this weapon. He used it once during the human chess game [1] and he used it to kill the target on a previous mission. Though strangling someone to death wasn't his cup of tea, it would have to do. He still didn't understand why they didn't just take their normal weapons. It wasn't like the targets *knew* them or anything. But it was 'Ken' who said they should 'experiment' with something new. He wanted to see what it was like to try and use bugnuks.   
The other three agreed reluctantly.   
  
'Aya' kept looking at the katana. "You think I'd be used to this after killing someone with it."  
  
"It was only one mission. No one gets used to something after doing it the first time, Ken-kun." 'Ken' said with a sigh. "Well, if there are no more questions, I guess we can get started. Just don't do anything to arouse attention. Understand?"  
  
The other three nodded.  
  
"Good." 'Ken' said, satisfied. "Now let's get going!"  
  
"I'm serious, chibi." 'Omi' was saying as the four of them split into groups of two. "Botox will be good for you."  
  
"No, it won't. Don't mention the word again." 'Ken' muttered as the two of them left 'Aya' and 'Yohji'.   
  
So far, everything seemed to be okay. No one seemed to notice the four of them lurking. 'Ken' let them know that all the members of the "E club" seemed to be unharmed. He had a little trouble getting the message through because 'Omi' was right behind him, talking about Botox and getting his eyebrow pierced. 'Yohji' rolled his eyes while his lover just smiled sympathetically. Both of them were just waiting to see when 'Ken' was going to claw poor 'Omi's' eyes out or something to that nature. Sighing, 'Aya' looked up at the full moon. It was so beautiful out tonight. The stars glimmered against a pitch black sky and wind rustled through the tree leaves. How he wished that he could spend the night outside, wrapped in his lover's arms, and gaze at the starlit sky together. There were two problems with that. One, he was on a mission. Two, he was in Aya's body and Aya was in Yohji's body. He had nothing against Yohji as a person but cuddling up to the playboy was odd. The real Yohji probably wouldn't be too happy seeing his body rubbing against 'Aya'.   
  
"Something's on your mind." 'Yohji' spoke up, noticing the worried look.   
  
"Well...yes. I was just thinking how beautiful the moon and stars are." 'Aya' murmured, looking into 'Yohji's' green ones. "And I was thinking about how much I'd like to spend the night with you...the *real* you. I'm sorry, love, but it feels wrong kissing and loving Yohji. I know it's you underneath but it doesn't look like you. You look like Yohji. You sound like Yohji. I just can't get close to you if you're in Yohji's body."  
  
'Yohji's' eyes lowered in disappointment. "So if we never change back, you're saying you wouldn't want to be with me?"   
  
"No!" 'Aya' shook his head. "Oh no! I'm just being optimistic here. I *know* we'll go back to normal. I haven't leaned towards hopelessness yet. I..."  
  
"Shh!" 'Yohji' motioned for him to be quiet. He heard something drop around the corner. The two assassins were silent for a while, long enough to hear a door slam and someone rush in. It didn't take either one long enough to realize that the footsteps probably belonged to their unknown target.  
  
"Should we move in?" 'Aya' asked. 'Yohji' nodded in reply, pulling out some wire to strangle his intended victim. Together, they moved quickly and silently to where they thought the target had disappeared into. They found the door, which had someone flung open even though they both heard it slam. 'Yohji' motioned 'Aya' to follow him. He pushed the door open and stepped inside, looking around the dark and almost lifeless room. 'Aya' stepped up behind him and joined his lover in observing. Neither wanted to take a step further for there could have been traps inside.   
  
"This doesn't look good." 'Aya' whispered. Almost immediately after he said that, his statement came true.   
  
"Well, well, well." A familiar voice chuckled. They couldn't see who it was but it was nasal sounding voice and it had a German accent. "What has wandered in my direction? Two little kittens..."  
  
"You!" 'Aya' pulled the sword out of its sheath and watched as Schuldig came out of the shadows. He couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of the two Weiß assassins standing back to back, ready to tackle him. Not like that would help anyways. He could take them both without having to lift a finger.   
  
"You're the ones behind this?" 'Yohji' demanded.  
  
"How else would we be able to lure you kittens in, hmm?" Schuldig grinned at them though deep inside he was seething with rage. If there was ever a time he wanted revenge, now was it. True, these two kittens hadn't been the ones who confused him but he looked forward to fighting them all the same.   
  
"I figured that killing random people would bring you here." Another voice, this time with an American accent, spoke up. 'Yohji' and 'Aya' both turned to find Crawford coming towards them. Pushing up his glasses, he added. "I predicted you'd come. As stupid as killing people with the letter in E in their names sounds..."  
  
"It's not stupid!" Schuldig interrupted, crossing his arms and pouting. "You adored the idea, Bradley! You were gushing all over it like a schoolgirl over some hot J-pop singer!"  
  
The thought of serious, stick-up-the-ass Crawford gushing over a silly plan was enough to make 'Aya' lose his cool composure and start laughing. This irritated 'Yohji' for he had hoped to keep the little problem a secret from the enemy. The two Schwarz members, however, were confused.  
  
"Oh my God! You can laugh!" Was Schuldig's response. Crawford didn't say anything but he looked puzzled. 'Yohji' shot 'Aya' a death glare in hopes of ceasing his laughter. It didn't work. 'Aya' doubled over and felt a cramp coming on. He couldn't keep the serious look any longer. Crawford, in his Armani suit and glasses, freaking out over Schuldig's silly idea...it was priceless. His cheeks turned pink while 'Yohji' turned red with both, anger and embarrassment. What the hell was his lover doing? They were in the middle of a mission! Not only that, he was giving away what happened to Schwarz!   
  
Crawford and Schuldig could only stare. The pink-cheeked 'Aya' and a bright red 'Yohji' would have been perfect on any humorous Valentine's Day card. Finally, Crawford snapped them both back into battle.  
  
"Enough! You came to fight, so fight!" He demanded, facing 'Aya' who had stopped laughing. He tried to stay calm like his lover but inside, he was shaking with fear. He had never fought Crawford before. He was used to fighting Farfarello, who was far more crazier than Crawford. And unlike the Irishman, Crawford could feel pain. The problem lay with the fact that Crawford could dodge 'Aya's' attacks, thanks to his powers of prediction. 'Aya' had never fought one-on-one with the pre-cog before.  
  
*/Well, there's a first time for everything./* He thought as he lunged towards Crawford, who immediately moved to the side. He chuckled as 'Aya' went towards him again. The Crawford took his swings, hitting 'Aya' both times in the jaw. 'Aya' winced in pain for his jaw was tingling. That guy knew how to *hurt* people! His poor Aya! Was this the pain his lover had to endure after every battle with Crawford? How could anyone expect to win against this guy?  
  
*/I never expected him to be this hard!/* 'Aya' thought as he dodged one of Crawford's punches.   
  
Meanwhile, Schuldig had been fighting 'Yohji' when he tapped into 'Aya's' mind. His emerald eyes flew open wide. That didn't sound like Abyssinian! It sounded like Siberian! The same thing that had happened with the kitten in the park was happening all over again. Schuldig managed to block the wire headed towards and tap into Balinese's thoughts.   
  
Once again, he got shocking results.  
  
*/Abyssinian is inside Balinese? Siberian's inside Abyssinian?/* The telepath felt the world started to spin again. This time it was worse. How could one person have another person's thoughts? He'd never encountered this until now and it was making him sick inside. All the thoughts he was hearing...the colors were started to meld together. His ears rang with pain and he actually got caught up in Balinese's wire...or was it Abyssinian? It didn't matter because now his neck was wrapped with that wire and he couldn't break free.   
  
"Shi-ne." 'Yohji' whispered, getting ready to pull the wire tight.   
  
Schuldig thought fast and telepathically screamed the one word that could help him out of this mess.  
  
*/BRAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/*  
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
[1] I don't know how many of you saw episode 2: Fort Laufen but it's true. Aya did use wire from his watch to pull himself up when the floor collapsed. (Although it may have been Yohji's watch)  
  
Well, I did it. Short chappy but I did it. Gomen, it took me a while. I've been depressed yet again this holiday season. It's hard writing humor when you're depressed. I promise to get more of this written sooner. Holidays always shorten my writing time.   
  
Next up, you'll see how 'Omi' and 'Ken' fared against Nagi and Farfarello. The fighting scene between Brad, Schu, Ken, and Aya will intensify. Also, some soft RanKen and Brad x Schu moments. Neko comes back, sweater problem arouses again, and lots more insanity.   
  
So review but no flames! Thank you!  
  
Happy Holidays, readers. And Happy Birthday to Ken^_^ Take care of yourselves.  
  
Ja ne! 


	14. Chapter 13: Don't Look At Me That Way! I...

Switch   
  
Chapter 13: Don't Look At Me that Way! I'm Self-Conscious! (AND CONTEST)  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own it. I would not have made four episodes of Gluhen and not bring Yohji or Ken in either of them if I were in charge. But of course, I'm not.   
  
Summary: After a mission, our boys get switched into one another's body. Now Aya smiles and loves kids, Ken is unusually genki, Omi is a pimp, and Yohji is acting...like a cold-hearted jerk. Will they ever fix this mix-up? Lots of insanity ahead!  
  
Pairing: *grin* Ran x Ken. God, I love those two together! Oh yes, and a little Brad x Schu! I love them together too!  
  
Happy Birthday to me! I'm turning 21! I can finally get drunk with Yohji! But lookie...see what my present is? I own my favorites, Aya and Schu, for a day! (Tugs on their leashes)  
  
Aya: *death glares*   
  
Schu: *too busy staring at Brad's ass to care that he's got a collar and a leash*  
  
Oh boy, am I gonna have fun with those guys! He he he...anyway, back to the story. Well, our guys just came across good, ole Schwarz and Aya and Ken (the real ones) are fighting against Brad and Schu. However, Schu ends up hearing the wrong voices in the wrong bodies! Oh no! When we last left off, Aya had strung up poor Schu and was going to kill him. In an attempt to save himself, Schu screams Brad's name telepathically...and that's where I left off. Oh yeah, there was talk of giving poor Omi (the real one) plastic surgery (but he doesn't need it^^). And this is where I'm going to begin.  
  
Many thanks to the lovely reviewers out there. Let's hope I got you all: CherubKatan, fei, Taline, Ryia Jen Rowen, Fuyukaze-Yuki, Mids, Moku (Gomen! I wasn't trying to insult you with what I said last time! I'm really sorry. Anyway, if you want to know, my native tongue is Bengali, an Indian language), Muchacha, kami-chan, DivineAngel, Ayako (now, now. I'm sure if you asked Omi politely...or shook him vigorously...he'd gladly hand the genki darts of doom over), lise, iamtheanonymous, Hyperventilater, and ember-fang.  
  
  
  
***  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"For the last time, Yohji-kun...you are *not* getting a nose job or collagen injections or anything of that sort!" 'Ken' was about to lose his temper. The two of them had gone to the other end of the building and were hiding behind a bunch of boxes so that none of the "E people" would notice them. They wanted to get this mission over with as quick as possible. So far it was quiet. Bored, 'Omi' kept finding things wrong with his body and had spent the last couple of minutes contemplating how he would change his image. Of course, 'Ken' had a few things to say about that.  
  
"Oh, c'mon! Why can't I change my genki image?" 'Omi' demanded.  
  
"Two reasons. One, you are now seventeen. While there are some teenagers younger than you who go through this, I feel you are still too young for plastic surgery. Two, because that *genki* image happens to be MINE!" 'Ken' put emphasis on 'mine' to make sure it got into 'Omi's' head. "You can change yourself all you want when we change back, Yohji-kun. You can get a nose job! You can get liposuction! You can chop all your hair off with pruning shears for all I care! But only when we get switched back! Til then, don't do a thing to my body!"  
  
"Then I guess it would be a bad idea to tell you I got your tongue pierced." 'Omi' whispered. 'Ken's' eyes widened at that moment and he grabbed 'Omi'. He felt bad that he would be damaging his own body but it would hurt 'Omi' more than it would hurt him.   
  
"You pierced my what?! Yohji-kun!" He exclaimed. He didn't know whether to kill 'Omi' right away or wait for an explanation. He finally made the reasonable choice in waiting for an explanation. 'Omi' just smiled at him and tried to get out of his grip. Unfortunately, he forgot he was smaller now and a little bit weaker. He figured that talking would be the only way 'Ken' would let him go.  
  
"Relax, chibi. Your tongue is fine. See?" 'Omi' stuck it out.  
  
"It's blue." 'Ken' looked suspicious.  
  
"That's cause I had a blue ice-pop before I left! Geez, what's wrong with you? You've been wired ever since we got switched into different bodies!"   
  
'Ken' was about to say something but he shut his mouth right away and put 'Omi' down. As much as he hated to admit it, that was the truth. Ever since the change, he had been losing it anytime something didn't go his way. He was never like this before. Despite the number of times Yohji irritated him, he stayed calm. The real Ken, on the other hand, was the short-tempered one in the group. The real Ken would probably chew Yohji's stupid head off if he even mentioned changing his appearance. The real Ken would...  
  
*/Oh my God!/* 'Ken' realized what was going on. Bit by bit, he was turning into the real Ken! The switch hadn't just made them change bodies, it was turning them into someone else!   
  
"This is bad." He whispered. 'Omi' noticed the look on 'Ken's' face and got worried.   
  
"What's wrong, chibi?" He asked.  
  
"I think...I think we're changing into the person whose body we're all currently occupying." 'Ken' explained. "When you said I was being short-tempered, it hit me. You're right. Ken-kun's short-tempered, not me. Somehow, I've become as short-tempered as he is. There's only one thing I can theorize...I'm probably going to turn into Ken-kun for good. Likewise, Aya-kun will become you, Ken-kun will become Aya-kun, and you will become me."  
  
'Omi's' jaw didn't just hit the ground; it almost went straight through it.  
  
"We're...we're what?" He asked. "You mean to tell me I'm going to turn into *you*? That I'm never going to go back to my sexy, beautiful body?"  
  
'Ken' wanted to say something again but chose not to. "I'm afraid so. Unless there is a solution to switch us back, that's most likely what'll happen to us."   
  
'Omi' groaned. But it made sense. He never ate blue ice-pops when he was in his other body. "Great! I'll be a chibi for life! Thanks a lot, Ken-kun!" Then he gasped and covered his mouth. "Oh shit! I just called you Ken-kun! And I wasn't being sarcastic either!"  
  
'Ken' nodded sadly. "You see what's happening?"  
  
"I'm...I'm..." 'Omi' stammered.  
  
"Going to die." A new voice, a rather nasty one, spoke up. Both Weiß assassins looked up to find Farfarello coming down towards 'Ken', knife aiming straight at his chest. Pulling those bugnuks out in front of him, he prepared to defend himself. Farfarello let out his famous "Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!" and knocked 'Ken' down to the ground. The bugnuks caught the knife but the Irishman wasn't through. He managed to get the knife out of the claws and tried to stab 'Ken' one more time.   
  
"Ken-kun!" It was hard for even 'Omi' know whether he said this to keep Schwarz in the dark about switch or that he was starting to become more like the real Omi.   
  
"Foolish Weiß." Nagi murmured, emerging from his hiding place. 'Omi' turned around to face the younger boy. "I can't believe you got lured into a trap so easily."  
  
"It was you guys all along?!" 'Omi' exclaimed.  
  
Nagi rolled his eyes. "Sad to say, it was. Schuldig came up with the idea to kill people with E in their last names and Crawford loved it. But that's enough talking for now." With that, Nagi held up his hands and focused all his power onto his opponent. 'Omi' had no idea what to do. Should he shoot the boy with the genki arrows of destruction or with the genki darts of doom?   
  
*/Please don't throw me against a wall. Please don't throw me against a wall. Please don't throw me against a wall./* 'Omi' began to pray to whoever was listening up there.   
  
Nagi picked him up telekinetically...and threw him against a wall. 'Omi' let out a scream as the pain shot through his back. Damn, could that kid hurt someone without lifting a finger! His spine was still tingling as Nagi loosened that telekinetic grip on him.   
  
"You're weak as always." He said, sneering at the sight of a hurt 'Omi'. Then he turned the (now) young boy upside down and slammed him into the wall again, causing 'Omi' to cry out. "But you're not fighting like normal. Frankly, I'm disappointed in you."   
  
'Omi' glared at him. "Screw you."  
  
"I'm flattered you wish to do that but I'm afraid I'm not your type."  
  
*/Jokes are not this kid's strong point./* 'Omi' decided, managing to roll his eyes when he heard that. He caught 'Ken' trying to fend off Farfarello, who was as relentless as he was crazy. 'Ken' was getting lucky so far but who knew how long he could him hold off ? Then they had to worry about 'Aya' and 'Yohji' who were no doubt fighting Crawford and Schuldig.   
  
Now Nagi turned 'Omi' around so he faced the wall and slammed him into head first! 'Omi' didn't scream; he howled like a child who fell on the sidewalk and got a scratch on his knee.   
  
"Careful." He said in a hoarse whisper. "Don't do that again. I just got my navel pierced."  
  
'Ken', who had been fighting Farfarello all this time, heard this. Forgetting about what he was doing, he turned around. "YOU DID WHAT?!"  
  
This gave Farfarello the opportunity to knock 'Ken' down to the ground. Nagi let 'Omi' fall to the ground at last. The moment his opponent stood up, he did something no one expected him to do. Telekinetically, he lifted up 'Omi's' shirt to see if the navel was *really* pierced.   
  
"Hey!" 'Omi' pushed the shirt back down and glared at Nagi. "Do you mind?!"  
  
"Your navel isn't pierced." Nagi smirked.   
  
"You still shouldn't have looked under my shirt, you pervert!"  
  
'Ken' was relieved to hear that 'Omi' hadn't pierced his navel. It was a good thing to because Farfarello was ready to shove the pointed end of his knife straight into 'Ken's' forehead. He kicked Farfarello off him and stood up. 'Ken' began to pity the real Ken. Was this how bad the fights were between them? Did always come this close to tasting death?   
  
Meanwhile, the fight between 'Omi' and Nagi had turned nasty. It became verbal.  
  
"For the hundredth time, I have NO interest in you whatsoever!" Nagi snapped.  
  
"Not from where I'm standing. You were eyeing my abs like they were candy!"  
  
"I was not!"  
  
"You were too!"  
  
"I was not!"  
  
"You were too!"  
  
"I was not. If you weren't such a bad liar and so self-conscious, I wouldn't have looked under your shirt and checked out your flabby stomach!"  
  
"My stomach is not flabby!"  
  
"Oh yes, it is." Nagi was half enjoying this little verbal fight and half growing tired of it. Bombay didn't act this childish. He didn't start up stupid fights like this either. And certainly didn't seem *that* self-conscious. Nagi wondered what would happen if he decided to take the kid's shorts off telekinetically.   
  
'Ken' was also growing tired of fighting Farfarello. Why wasn't this guy leaving him along yet? Who knew how many times he had to dodge that stupid knife!  
  
"Fight, little kitten." Farfarello muttered, licking the knife before trying to gouge 'Ken's' eyes out with it. "Fight for your life! God hates watching you suffer like this. God hates it when I try to kill innocent, little kittens."   
  
"That's enough!" 'Ken' snapped, finally getting the strength to knock Farfarello down. While Farfarello didn't feel the pain, it did keep him in a slight daze. 'Omi' decided to ignore Nagi and try to help 'Ken'. Nagi, pleased that the fight was through, ran over to Farfarello. 'Omi' held out his hands and helped 'Ken' stand up.   
  
"Are you all right, O…Ken-kun?" He asked.  
  
"Fine. But we've got to find the others. They're probably fighting the other members of Schwarz."  
  
"That's what I thought. Let's ditch these guys and help them."  
  
"You're not going anywhere, Flabby!" Nagi telekinetically pushed 'Omi' into a wall again. Farfarello, who recovered from his daze rather quickly, jumped   
'Ken' once again.   
  
Evidently, their battle wasn't over yet. And from the looks of it, it wouldn't be over for a while.  
  
***  
  
"Shi-ne." 'Yohji' whispered, getting ready to strangle Schuldig. Due to his confusion from reading their minds, the telepath found himself in a sticky situation. Balinese had tangled him up in wire and he was going to die. Unless Crawford helped him, he was going to die.  
  
*/BRAD!!!!!!!!!!!!/*  
  
Crawford looked up in time to see Schuldig. He looked like some prey caught in some spider's web. Balinese was right there, a look of hatred burning in his jade eyes. It was strange, considering that Abyssinian usually had that look. But there was no time to think about that. Schuldig was in trouble. Schuldig needed to be saved.  
  
"Get away from him!" Crawford snapped, pushing 'Aya' to the ground and pulling out a gun. Then he aimed it at 'Yohji' and fired. 'Yohji' managed to move away so that the bullet didn't kill him but it did graze his arm. He let the wire fall from his hands, loosening Schuldig from his bonds.   
  
"Oooh, my head." Schuldig moaned as he fell to the ground. Balinese, now injured, also dropped onto his knees and clutched his arm. Abyssinian saw this and ran over to him. Crawford ran over to help Schuldig.  
  
"Brad…they…they…" Schuldig tried to say but he was hyperventilating. Crawford put his hands on top of the German's shoulders.   
  
"What did they do?" He asked.  
  
"It's…hard…to…explain. My…head…hurts. Need…twenty…aspirin."   
  
"You'll be fine." Crawford promised.   
  
Meanwhile, 'Aya' was clutching 'Yohji' a few feet away from Crawford and Schuldig. "Koi? Koi, hang in there! I'll get you out of here."  
  
"It's okay." 'Yohji' murmured, still holding his bleeding arm. "I'm fine, love. I'm not hurt that badly. I can still fight."  
  
He tried to move his arm but the pain intensified. He groaned and fell back into 'Aya's' arms. 'Aya' put 'Yohji's' head on his lap so that his lover could have some rest. True, 'Yohji' wasn't critically hurt but he was in pain. If there was one thing 'Aya' really hated, it was seeing his lover in pain.  
  
"Is there anything you want me to do?" He asked in a whisper. Crawford and Schuldig, who seemed to have forgotten the fight, looked like they were comforting each other.   
  
"Kiss me." 'Yohji' whispered.  
  
"W…what?" 'Aya' sputtered.  
  
"Don't make me repeat myself. I told you to kiss me and on the lips only. I won't accept anything else."   
  
"B…b…but, koi! I thought I told you I don't feel…"  
  
"…Comfortable about kissing Yohji. I know. But I'm not asking you for much. You're fine with talking to Yohji, hugging Yohji, even holding Yohji while he's hurt, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes, but I know it's really you underneath."  
  
"Then just pretend that Yohji's lips happen to be the same as mine. Pretend you're kissing me like always."  
  
"Um…"  
  
"Look at me, Ken. Look at me as if I'm Aya, not Yohji." 'Yohji' begged, his face twisting in pain. 'Aya' still felt doubtful about the whole thing but he decided to give it a shot. He pretended that it was Aya's body, not Yohji's, that he was holding. Slowly, the image of Yohji disappeared and Aya appeared. The blond hair and jade eyes melted as 'Aya' imagined holding his lover there. Then Yohji was gone and Aya was there. His Aya, with his blood-red hair and beautiful violet eyes, was now staring back at him. And the lips, beautiful and pale, were begging to be kissed.  
  
"Kiss me, Ken." Imaginary Aya's eyes seemed to say. "Kiss me and make me feel good."   
  
'Aya' nodded. Then he bent down and kissed his lover on the lips.   
  
Unfortunately, Schuldig had turned around in time to see this. The headache came back all over again in full force. That wasn't right! He knew that Siberian was Abyssinian's lover, not Balinese! What the hell was Abyssinian doing? Groaning, Schuldig leaned on Crawford for support.  
  
"Brad...that's not right." He murmured, holding his head. Crawford looked over at the two lovers in disgust. He was going to make those two pay for what they did to Schuldig. He'd never seen the telepath this miserable before. Clearly, they had wounded him in such a way, not even Crawford knew how to cure him. He then made up his mind.  
  
"We're getting out of here." He said. "We'll pick up Nagi and Farfarello on the way."  
  
"But Brad..." Schuldig began but Crawford silenced him.   
  
"No." He whispered. "You're not well enough to fight. We'll get revenge on them later. But not now."  
  
"It's weird, Brad." Schuldig murmured as Crawford helped him up. "I don't know what's going on. I expect to hear the same things and now I hear Siberian's voice in Abyssinian and Abyssinian's voice in Balinese. Then earlier today, I heard Balinese inside Bombay. Something's not right, Braddy. Something's not right at all."  
  
"Are you sure about it?"  
  
"Positive. Would you expect to find Abyssinian thinking about...Neko the neko?"  
  
Crawford had no answer to that. He didn't know what Neko the neko was...and he didn't want to.   
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
And I've finished another chapter. Gomen for the long wait. I started another Weiß fic as well, "Spirit of Christmas" which is a Brad x Schu, a RanKen one-shot which I will finish and post on my birthday (Jan 12th) and I've been working a lot on my original stuff. Okay, I have no idea what'll happen in the next chapter yet but I should soon^^. In the meantime, I will enjoy my new slaves. (yanks Aya and Schu's leashes)  
  
Aya: I hate you.  
  
Schu: Do you realize my collar has the name 'Aya' on it and his says 'Schu'?  
  
Me: Keep quiet, slaves! For now, you work for me!   
  
Oh yeah...CONTEST! CONTEST! CONTEST!  
  
A very easy contest! You don't need much but your creative, little minds readers. Here's the thing: Carter-san here sucks at coming up with titles. I mean, I can come up with the story just fine. But when it comes to titles...well, I spend sleepless nights trying to come up with something decent. This time, however, I've decided to hold a little contest.  
  
I have two more stories coming up after "Switch" is over with. One is about Kenken finding his family, another is about Aya who gets hypnotized and does crazy stuff. Both are chock full of RanKen goodness as well some other couples (Schu x Ken, Schu x Brad, etc.). But they are both mostly RanKen (or I might make one KenRan. You know, I don't really care who's seme and who's uke. I just like them together). I have the stories more or less. However, I am lacking a, you guessed it, title. BOTH NEED TITLES! So here's where you come in.  
  
For one or both of the stories, I need you to come up with a title. I don't care how bad you think it is. If you have one, send it to me! You can send me your suggestions in one of four ways.  
  
1) IN YOUR REVIEW! If you've come up with an idea now from looking at the summaries below (which are obviously below), send me the title when you write up your review!   
  
2) EMAIL! If you think that the summaries aren't enough help and want to see a sneak peek, that's okay. On my ujournal at www.ujournal.org/~carta, I will post little scenarios from both stories sometime within the week. Then, if you wish, you can email me at Raven_DeLuca@excite.com. I check email everyday. (Unless something like a storm comes and nearly wipes us away-_-0)  
  
3) IN MY BLOG/UJOURNAL! As I said, scenarios will be posted on my blog sometime soon along with the official rules to the contest. If you think you can't get something out of one scenario, you can request for a different scenario and I'll gladly write one up. However, I will NOT write the entire story in my blog. I want to leave some surprises for you guys^^.   
  
4) AIM! (Yes, Kami-chan, I've been trying to get through to you but you're never there!) For those of you who have AIM, feel free to look me up and send me your suggestion. My User name is kenfujimiya and I'm still getting used to having Instant Messanger. But as time flies by, I should get the hang of it. Mids knows, she finally got through to me after what seems like weeks-_-0.   
  
Heck, you can send me the suggestion in all four ways if you want! I will get it eventually.  
  
-Your title can't have any foul language in it (due to FFN's rules) and it must be able to fit in the title. I think the most that fits is ten words.   
  
-When you send me your suggestion, please put "KEN FAMILY" if it's a title for the first one or "STRIPTEASE RAN" if it's a title for the second one. If you don't put that there, I'll have no clue which story you're sending the title for.   
  
-You are allowed to enter both contests and you are allowed to submit more than one title per contest if you feel it strengthens your chance of winning.   
  
-I'll have two grand prize winners as well as ten runner-ups. The grand prize winners get their title put on my fic and get the fic dedicated to them (and they'll be very lengthy, I guarantee you). You will also get the choice to either write a fic with me or receive a one-shot with the couple of your choice. The runner-ups will get small, short one-shot fics with the couples of their choice. (Yes, I'll even attempt one-shots of the couples I don't like such as Yohji x Omi and Nagi x Brad).   
  
Now the summaries...  
  
Summary #1: Ken gets injured one day and is taken to the hospital to be treated. Upon arrival, he is shocked to find that the doctor and nurse who are treating happen to be his long lost sisters. They've missed their brother and want to know all about his life. However, doubts clutter his mind as to whether or not he should tell them the whole truth. Weiß has been and should remain a secret to all. They've kept this truth from everyone they meet. But this time, it's different. This is Ken's family...(Pairings: Ran x Ken, Ken x Schu, Ran x Schu…in short, a Schu/Ken/Ran triangle which ends Ranken) More angst in this one.  
  
Summary # 2: During a mission, Aya runs into the target who also happens to be a master at hypnotism. He hypnotizes Aya minutes before he is killed. Now he's gone...but the effects of the spells still linger inside Aya. Now our favorite redhead is doing everything from stripping down in the Koneko to seducing everyone he comes into contact with, mainly Ken. Can our dear Ranners ever get over these silly spells? Or is he doomed to keep stripping and seducing against his will forever? (Pairings: Aya x pretty much everyone…but ends up RanKen)  
  
Both authors and non-authors are welcome to try out. Non-authors, please leave me an email address so I can contact you if you win. ('Non-authors' is just my term for people who aren't authors at FFN). Same goes for authors at FFN who don't leave their email addresses up on their profiles.  
  
Contest ends February 21st, 2003 (My brother's 17th birthday^^). Winners are announced on February 28th, 2003. (Omi's b-day…or close to it^^)  
  
I think I've made myself clear. Any questions? Comments? Pick any of the four methods above to ask me them, preferably email.   
  
Well, I'm going to enjoy my birthday cake and make these slaves of mine do some work. (Yanks their leashes). C'mon, you two. It's time.   
  
Review! Flames not acceptable.   
  
Ja! 


	15. Chapter 14: That's Not Aya's Finger in M...

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Chapter 14: That's Not Aya's Finger in MY Mouth, Is It?!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: Hell, it ain't mine. No matter how much I wish to claim it, I can't. Sad, isn't it?  
  
Summary: You know the routine…blah blah blah….mission, guys knocked out….blah blah blah…Freaky Friday deal happening, everyone got switched…Aya and soccer…blah blah…Ken loves computers, hates Yohji…blah blah…Omi wants to have an orgy with a bunch of girls under 18…blah blah…Yohji couldn't be more pissed off in his life. Will they switch out? Read and see! (Wow, I turned chipper so goddamn fast!)  
  
Pairings: my usernames in AIM and Yahoo messenger should tell you everything: Kenfujimiya and ranandkenforever? If you still don't know, it's the lovely Aya./Ran x Ken pairing…oh yeah, and slight Brad x Schu. (If you don't like Brad x Schu but love Aya x Ken, you don't have to be worried. It's not a lot of Brad x Schu. You'll live, trust me.)  
  
Okay….I finally got through to this baby! Only a few more chapters to go. I announced my contest but I have been very lazy as to getting those scenarios up. So many things in my way: school, other stories, etc. But I'll keep you all entertained (hopefully) with the next chapter of this story. When we last left off, the boys were fighting Schwarz (what else is new?) Nagi vs. 'Omi', Farfie vs. 'Ken', Schu vs. 'Yohji', and Brad vs. 'Aya'. Schu almost died but Braddy came to his rescue, harming 'Yohji' in return. 'Aya' and 'Yohji' shared a kiss, royally screwing Schu's brain again. And now we will open after the fight…  
  
Few keywords: 'Yohji' (Aya), 'Aya' (Ken), bed, half-naked, chocolate, whipped cream, pineapples, nuts…get my drift? But it's not an NC-17 scene so don't panic (You'll see what I mean by that).  
  
Thanks going out to everyone again:  
  
CherubKatan, Mids, fei, lise, kami-chan, Melanie, DivineAngel, Ryia Jen Rowen, Fuyukaze-Yuki (thanks bunches for the RanKen pic), Neptican, and Seph Lorraine. Oh and the person who emailed and never left me a name. (I hope I made sense to you).  
  
And thanks to everyone who reviewed my one-shot, "Don't Be Afraid of Love": Mids, lise, kami-chan, Corrupt Prodigy, Seph Lorraine, schu-chan, Fuyukaze-Yuki, V-chan, Vel, Midnight Katana, Iceangel, and Porcelain Dragon.  
  
Okay, I'm through talking. Thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday. Now let's start the fic…  
  
~~~  
  
"Oooh, my head!" Schuldig moaned. The Schwarz had finished their battle against Weiß with neither side winning. Schuldig was lying on Crawford's lap, wishing that he could die. He never had a headache this bad before. Now Crawford wasn't doing anything to calm Schuldig down. He didn't even ask Schuldig lie on his lap; the German just came and plopped down on him without a word. Crawford only offered aspirin and kept the telepath from eating the entire bottle. It was the first time he'd ever been like this.  
  
"He has a point." Nagi said. "Weiß was acting differently this time around. I was fighting Bombay and he..."  
  
"Was acting just like Balinese." Schuldig finished off. "Am I right?"  
  
"Well, I wouldn't *exactly* like Balinese but yes. He had an attitude and some stupidity."   
  
"Which you found attractive, huh?" Schuldig smiled.  
  
Nagi scoffed. "No! I had a verbal fight..."  
  
"Ooh, a verbal fight! Seems like Nagi-wagi has a crush on Bombay!"  
  
At times like this, Nagi wished he had a giant blender to shove Schuldig in. Then he'd turn it on and laugh as the telepath went spinning, hopefully dying in the process. Crawford would a little upset that Schuldig was gone but he'd understand why Nagi did it. Hell, Schuldig annoyed him to no end too. And Farfarello would be pleased cause shoving people in giant blenders and killing them was bound to hurt God.   
  
But there was no giant blender in sight so Nagi had to deal Schuldig's teasing for the next few hours. "For your information, no. I do not have crush on anyone."  
  
"Liar." Schuldig murmured, before groaning again and holding his head. Crawford pushed him down.  
  
"Stop talking!" He snapped. "The headache is not going to go away if you're running your mouth like that."  
  
"Can I help it, Brad? I've never been this confused in my life."  
  
Nagi couldn't help but smirk at that.  
  
"Weiß or not, they still were scared little kittens." Farfarello murmured, licking his favorite knife. "I look forward to fighting them again."  
  
Schuldig looked up at Brad. "We'll fight them again, won't we? Say yes, darling."  
  
Brad winced. Why did Schuldig have to be so mushy and childlike at a time like this? But he nodded in response. He too wanted to see Weiß again. He predicted they would run into each other soon and that the next fight would be far more interesting than the last. Maybe then they'd figure out why Schuldig was having so many headaches.  
  
"We'll get back at them, Braddy?" Schuldig asked.  
  
This time, Brad decided not say anything against that nickname.   
  
"We'll get back at them." He promised. "We'll most certainly get back at them."  
  
***  
Well, the fight was long over for Weiß. They treated their wounds before heading off to bed. 'Yohji's' wound was superficial. It would take but a few days to heal so he could still work and whatnot. Everyone else also suffered some minor cuts and bruises, nothing they couldn't handle themselves. So after 'Ken' and 'Omi' were treated, they went off into their rooms in hopes of getting a good night's sleep.  
  
'Aya' and 'Yohji', however, weren't sleeping. They preferred to heal themselves in a very different way. A way that involved all the lights turned off, the bed sheets pulled off, and noises that sounded anything but normal. 'Omi' was listening to them talk, using his pillow to deafen the noises from the other room. Either that or smother himself to death, whichever happened first. For people who were supposedly in love and 'tired' as they claimed, they sure as hell were loud.   
  
"I love you, Aya."  
  
"And I love you, Ken."  
  
*/How sickeningly sweet./* 'Omi' wished there was a bucket nearby so he could vomit in it. They had been declaring their love (rather loudly) for fifteen minutes straight. In fact, that's ALL they had been doing.   
  
And to top it off, there was some horrible eighties music playing from their room! Was this their idea of a romantic setting? 'Omi' would have bet a million yen that 'Aya' was the one who decided on the music to set the atmosphere. So loud talking, loud music...there was no way in hell anyone was going to sleep tonight.   
  
*/Either have sex with each other or shut the hell up!/* 'Omi' thought. He wasn't just mad at them. He was also envious. Those two could have sex for the rest of their lives and he…he would be stuck in a seventeen-year old body. He would turn into Omi for good. He would have eyes the size of teacup saucers and an unusual amount of genki-ness. And his closet would consist of clothes…oh, God, he didn't want to even think of the clothes! Damn that 'Ken' for telling him this wonderful piece of news. He hadn't even bought it up with 'Yohji' or 'Aya' cause he was too damn tired and worn out from fighting Farfarello.  
  
"Look what I bought, love!" 'Aya' interrupted 'Omi's' thoughts. "Ready for some sweetness?"  
  
"Yum!" 'Yohji' made a weird sound that sounded like he was licking his lips. "Pour it all on!"  
  
Suddenly, the worst thought possible entered 'Omi's' mind. They were not doing what he thought they were doing, were they?!  
  
"Okay, love. Here it goes!"  
  
*/No! I have to stop him! That's *my* body Ken wants to have sex with! Ah! I have to save myself! /*  
  
A million thoughts screamed inside 'Omi's' as he fell out of bed (literally) and swore cause he'd banged his knee against the floor. But he wanted someone with him. The only person, other than him, who wasn't declaring love or preparing for a night of sex…he had to get 'Ken'.  
  
"Ken-kun…Omi?" He whispered. Damn 'Ken's' theory that they were changing into someone else! He went sprawling into the darkness and over to where Ken's room (the real Ken's room) were slightly ajar. He peeked in and saw 'Ken' lying in bed, back facing the ceiling and hands clutching his pillow.  
  
"You know, I *like* Fruits Basket. I don't care what the other guys say. [1]" 'Ken' muttered in his sleep.  
  
"K…Omi?" 'Omi' whispered. "Chibi, stop dreaming about that Tohru chick and wake up!"  
  
"No…"  
  
"Yes!" 'Omi' barged into the room and flipped on the lights. 'Ken' just took the pillow and put it over his head. "Okay then! I need to take desperate measures!"  
  
Leaning over, he whispered. "I'm sleeping with that girl who sits next to you in class."  
  
That was enough to wake 'Ken' up and throw the pillow in 'Omi's' face.  
  
"YOU'RE WHAT?!" If looks could kill, poor 'Omi' would be fried to a crisp and then shoved into a freezer. From the glares 'Ken' was shooting in his directions, it may have been the worst lie he told anyone.   
  
"Be quiet!" 'Yohji' yelled from down the hall. "Ken and I want our quiet time!"  
  
"Oh, they're allowed to have quiet time and we're not?" 'Omi' fumed.   
  
"You…are…sleeping…with…who?" 'Ken' said dangerously, one word at a time. If that stupid 'Omi' had thrown his virginity away, then he was dead. This time, 'Ken' wouldn't let anything hold him back as he tortured that idiot. His body would receive damage but it would be worth it.  
  
"No one, chibi! No one! I'm serious!" 'Omi' backed away. "I said that only to wake you up. Although that chick in your class is…"  
  
"Don't say it! What do you want me to do?"  
  
"Come with me! We have to stop Aya-kun and Ken-kun!" 'Omi' tugged on 'Ken's' arm, ready to pull it off. Once again, he had stuck '–kun' on someone's name but was too worried about his sex life to worry about that.   
  
"Why? What have they done?"  
  
"They are going to do…it." He said 'it' in the smallest voice possible.  
  
"And?"  
  
"Stop them, dammit! I am not going to let Ken rub himself over my body!"  
  
"Need I remind you that…"  
  
"No time to be reminded of anything, chibi! Let's go!" Before 'Ken' could protest, 'Omi' had pulled him out of bed and onto the floor. Realizing that there was no way in hell he could stop 'Omi', he chose to join him. With the (now) younger boy tugging his arms and almost pulling it out of his socket, they went down the hall way where they heard 'Aya' laughing. For a moment, they had no idea what the hell it was. After all, the real Aya rarely laughed.   
  
"Okay, love! Here comes the chocolate syrup!" 'Aya' exclaimed. The sound of a bottle being squeezed and something coming out of it was heard from behind closed doors. 'Omi' almost passed out due to shock.  
  
"More! I demand you give me more!" 'Yohji' exclaimed.  
  
"Oh my God! Aya gets hyped up during sex!" 'Omi' exclaimed. "Then again, who doesn't?"  
  
"You want all of it on there, love?"  
  
"Yes, yes, yes!"  
  
"No, no, no." 'Omi' whispered. 'Ken' raised an eyebrow.   
  
"Oh yes..." 'Yohji' murmured, sounding incredibly horny.  
  
"Oh God." 'Omi' moaned.  
  
"Shhh!" 'Ken' punched him in the arm. Suddenly, he was interested in hearing what was going on.   
  
"And here come the pineapples!" 'Aya' exclaimed from behind the door.  
  
"Oh, you know how much I love pineapples!" 'Yohji' was practically gushing like a schoolgirl on Ecstasy.  
  
"Well, I don't!" 'Omi' snapped. "Dammit, I'm going in!"  
  
"No, you're not!" 'Ken' hissed, pulling 'Omi' back. "I want to hear more!"  
  
'Omi' looked at 'Ken' strangely but didn't say anything. Was it just him or was the chibi (well, he wasn't a chibi anymore) getting a *tad* bit horny?  
  
"And I have one more ingredient." 'Aya' said.  
  
"Ooh, what is it?"  
  
"If he says 'soy sauce' , I'm going in there and poking them to death with the genki darts!" 'Omi' muttered.   
  
"What good is chocolate...without the whipped cream?!" 'Aya' said that as if was the best thing in the world.  
  
There was a clapping sound, most likely 'Yohji' getting happy. 'Omi' fumed.  
  
"That's even worse. I have to go in." He murmured. He didn't have the genki darts with him but he was still capable of strangling them both.   
  
"Wait!" 'Ken' insisted, holding 'Omi' back. "Aya-kun is saying more."  
  
"You forgot the nuts." A now disappointed 'Yohji' pointed out. "How can we have chocolate and whipped cream but leave out the nuts?"  
  
"Ah...you're right! We need to add nuts!"  
  
That did it for 'Omi'. Without another word, he flung the door open and went flying into the room. 'Ken' went in after him, trying to stop what would happen next. 'Omi' screamed and leaped onto the bed, knocking down a bowl of ice cream that had been sitting on the bed and crashing to the ground. A startled 'Aya' picked up the can of whipped cream and tried to squirt it in 'Omi's' face. He missed and it hit 'Ken' square on the nose.   
  
"Oh my God! I'm sorry!" He exclaimed as 'Ken' slowed down, looking very pissed. 'Yohji' was sitting there, annoyed, with 'Aya's' finger in his mouth. 'Omi' was on the floor, seething with rage. And poor 'Aya' was confused.  
  
"You...aren't...having...sex...with...my...body!" He managed to get out, picking himself off the floor. He stood up and faced them both, horrified by what he saw. "What the hell is *that* doing in my mouth?!"  
  
For a moment, no one knew what he was talking about. Then they all saw what he meant. 'Aya' still had his finger in 'Yohji's' mouth.   
  
"Mmrrmrms." 'Yohji' attempted to say. He didn't take the finger out but the glare he was sending them all told everything.  
  
"I'm sorry, Omi. Are you hurt?" 'Aya' asked.  
  
'Ken' took some whipped cream off his nose and ate it. "Just be thankful that I like whipped cream."  
  
"What the hell do you think you two are doing?!" Now it was 'Omi's' turn to get mad at someone. He glared at them sitting on the bed. "You're covering each other with chocolate and whipped cream and pineapples and..."  
  
"Wait!" 'Aya' interrupted him. "We're not covered with anything!"  
  
"Yes, you are! You're..." 'Omi' blinked. It was true. Neither 'Aya' nor 'Yohji' had chocolate or whipped cream or anything on them. They were half-naked, wearing only boxers, but they weren't covered in sticky stuff. The only thing weird was that 'Aya' had his finger in 'Yohji's' mouth. "What the..."  
  
"We were having ice cream." 'Aya' explained. "Aya suggested making a sundae and eating it in bed. That's why we had chocolate and pineapples and everything out. They were for our sundae."  
  
"Then what's your finger doing in MY mouth?"  
  
"I was eating the little bit of chocolate he had on his finger." 'Yohji' finally said, pulling out 'Aya's' (technically his own) chocolate and spit covered finger out of his mouth. "See?"  
  
"We worked so hard on that sundae." 'Aya' said sadly. "And now it's all on the floor."  
  
'Omi's' blue eyes looked down to the ground. Sure enough, there was a bowl on the ground. Ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, pineapple, and nuts were splattered on the floor. So that was what they had been doing! Ice cream! All they wanted was some goddamn ice cream! They were having sex or anything! Some quiet night this had turned out to be. 'Yohji' looked royally pissed off when saw the sticky mess on the ground.   
  
"I wanted to eat that." He said, glaring at 'Omi' and 'Ken' . "Thanks a lot."  
  
'Omi' turned bright red and started to back away. 'Ken' sighed and ate some more of the whipped cream on his nose.  
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
[1] Can you tell that my latest obsession is Fruits Basket? For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, it's a kawaii anime about a girl named Tohru who goes to live with a family that turns into the animals of the Chinese zodiac. That's my one line summary of the anime. If you are fans of Fushigi Yugi, you'll probably like this too^^. Expect a Fruits Basket fic from me sometime in the near future.  
  
All right! Finally, after long last, I finished the next chapter. Almost done. I'm almost done. Next chapter...eh...I still don't know what'll happen. But bet your bottom dollar that they WILL have another battle with Schwarz. I'll try writing those scenarios as soon as I can. I promise!   
  
In the meantime, review! No flames accepted. Thank you.  
  
Ja ne!  
  
~Carter-chan 


	16. Chapter 15: Confusing Fan Girls, Jane Fo...

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Chapter 15: Confusing Fan Girls, Jane Fonda, and Eavesdropping Hurt God  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will. (Sorry, my disclaimer sucks)  
  
Summary: I think I've been through this a million times. You should know it by now.  
  
Pairings: If it hasn't hit you yet, it's a RanKen (Ran x Ken) with slight Brad x Schu. (Nothing to drive you mad). Yes, it's shounen-ai. Don't like, don't read.  
  
Okay, this story is almost done. Two or three more chapters to go. And in case anyone is wondering, yes. Yes, they will switch back. I promise you that. I'm sorry if it spoiled the story for you but I just had to get that out 'cause everyone was asking me the same question.   
  
Recap, recap...Schu lying on Brad's lap (kawaii moment, I know). Schwarz plans to attack Weiss yet again (like all bad guys do). 'Aya' and 'Yohji' were...oh, how shall I explain this...in the mood last night. 'Omi' realized his sex life was in danger should 'Aya' and 'Yohji'...do it. He gets 'Ken' to help him and they spy on the other two. 'Ken' gets a little...hee hee hee. Chocolate, whipped cream, pineapples, nuts...the nuts drive 'Omi' mad. He bursts in and knocks the sundae that 'Aya' and 'Yohji' were making onto the ground. Truth is revealed, 'Ken' gets attacked by whipped cream, and 'Yohji' is plenty pissed that his sundae was destroyed. And this is where the fic will begin.  
  
I've decided to post future scenarios on my livejournal at www.livejournal.com/~coldwriter instead of the other one. So if you wanna check it out, feel free. Though I don't have them up yet...  
  
Thanks to those who reviewed my lemon (on MM.org) and "Second Chance", my weird as hell story over here (FFN) and there (MM.org).   
  
Thank you to all the wonderful, wonderful reviewers: CherubKatan, Little Isa, kami-chan, Midori, fei, Riisha (thanks for all the comments), Seph Lorraine, asami, Fuyukaze-Yuki, Midnight Katana, Ayako (don't worry. I don't blame you if you missed the update), DivineAngel (no, I haven't written to you yet but I will^^), Nekocin (on MM.org), Mikoto the Gnome Girl, Melanie, and a few others who I cannot remember for the life of me. (Gomen, I'll get you in next time)  
  
And now I'll shut up...  
  
***  
  
Well, last night hadn't been all that bad. The ice cream sundae mess was cleaned up and 'Aya' promised not to mess with 'Yohji's' body for the remainder of the night. 'Omi' held him to his word but was still a little suspicious. Considering how happy both of them were ('Aya' was humming some romantic song and 'Yohji' was bobbing his head side to side...that was the strangest sight ever), he doubted that they were honest with him.   
  
The next day was already here and, as promised, 'Omi' went hunting for an orange sweater identical to Aya's old one. He went to his favorite store where all the latest fashions were. Naturally, when he asked for that sweater, the salesperson scowled at him. The same thing happened in his other favorite stores. One even gave him the most cynical look on the planet and kept looking at him until he left. Finally, he went to the last store in town and asked for the orange sweater.  
  
"They're not in style anymore." The young lady behind the counter, who had a beautiful face and a nice pair of breasts, told him. 'Omi' grinned as he observed her body. Oh yeah. He liked her right away.   
  
"Surely you've got to have at least one orange sweater in your store." He said smoothly. Time to turn on the Y...'Omi' charms. No woman could resist big eyes and an adorable genki smile. He should use this cuteness to his advantage. His grin broadened as he stared at her with a lost puppy look. She smiled back.  
  
"You work in the Koneko no Sume Ie flower shop, right?" She finally asked.  
  
Bingo. She knew about him already.  
  
"That I do." He nodded. "Wanna stop by the shop later? I'll show you around. We've got roses for sale...which should please a lovely woman such as yourself."  
  
The woman turned bright red. "Maybe later. Now you wanted an orange sweater, right?"  
  
"That's right. It's for...my friend." He said. Well, it was true though Aya probably looked at him as a nuisance, not a friend.   
  
"I think we do have some in that back rack over there." She said, pointing to the corner. 'Omi' followed her and she showed him where they were. Sure enough, there were so many sweaters like the one Aya had. They were in different colors too: blue, red, black, white, gray, green, yellow, pink, purple...and orange.  
  
*/I found it!/* He thought ecstatically, letting out a genki squeal (genki squeals, he figured, were bond to please her too) and pulled that orange sweater out. He had done his job! 'Aya' had to be thankful for all this.  
  
The woman smiled back. "I see you found what you wanted."   
  
"Thanks for the sweater, sweetheart." 'Omi' grinned as the young lady lead him back up front. 'Aya' had told him to search here first because that was where his koi shopped. He had got that little bit of information from 'Yohji' last night (and probably a lot more while he was at it).  
  
"Um...I was wondering if I could...ask you something." The woman's cheeks pinked. 'Omi' turned around and smiled at her. This was it. She was going to ask if he was available. Either that or she would ask him something that would lead to a date later on.   
  
"Yes?" He grinned.  
  
"I was wondering..."  
  
'Omi's' grin grew wider.  
  
"...if your friend Ken is available."  
  
Thud! It was as if she had just slapped him across the face and then slammed him into the ground. He should have known the use of genki charms to woo this woman wouldn't have worked. She was waiting for an answer so he shook his head.  
  
"He's in a committed relationship." He told her and watched as her pretty face darkened with disappointment. Well, he hadn't lied to her.   
  
*/And to think I was starting to like the idea of turning into the chibi.../* 'Omi' sighed as he took the sweater and walked out of the door. If 'Ken's' theory turned out to be true, he might as well kiss his love life goodbye and stay a virgin forever.   
  
***  
  
The afternoon bought rain and squealing schoolgirls back into the flower shop. 'Aya' and 'Ken' were greeting them while 'Yohji' chased them around with a mop. He was getting irritated at the fact that none of these girls wiped their feet on the welcoming mat. They tracked mud and water everywhere they stepped. Frankly, he was getting sick of it and he kept telling them to go home if they weren't customers. No one listened as usual.  
  
"We haven't had this many customers in one place before." 'Ken' commented. 'Aya' just smiled and watched 'Yohji' chase the girls out of the store.   
  
"I wonder where Yohji went...I mean, Yohji-kun!" 'Ken stammered. Already, he was leaving -kun off of everyone's name. 'Aya' turned to him, puzzled.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked. 'Ken' realized that neither 'Aya' nor 'Yohji' knew about his theory. He had been meaning to tell them last night but they were both too tired (or so they claimed) to listen then. He tried to tell them in the morning but 'Omi' told him they were taking a shower (evidently at the same time and in the same place). Then 'Omi' left to do something important and, by the time the other two came out, work had begun. 'Ken' noticed that both 'Yohji' and 'Aya' looked a little...disheveled...but said nothing. 'Yohji's' smile turned to a scowl when he saw the hoard of girls coming in. All chances of telling them what was happening, that they would actually be turning into someone else, were thrown out of the window and into the rain.   
  
"If you're not buying anything, get out!" 'Yohji' snapped, chasing the girls around with the mop and trying to send them back outside. He took a moment to stop in front of the other two. "I do not know what keeps me from killing these stupid girls. They are loud, annoying..."  
  
"Ah ah ah." 'Aya' shook his head. "Yohji is NOT supposed to think of girls that way!"  
  
'Yohji' frowned. "He does now!" Then he lowered his voice. "And *who* said I was Yohji, hmm?"  
  
"Actually..." 'Ken' started to tell the news but was interrupted by Sakura Tomoe.  
  
"Hi, Aya-san!" She greeted him as she came in, tracking more water and mud. 'Aya' just gave her a smile. He was about to say something when 'Omi' came in through the backdoor, dripping wet and dripping with rage. The other three stared at him as he stood there, getting more water on the floor. Then he looked up, his blue eyes flashing angrily.   
  
"You!" 'Omi' pointed an accusing finger at 'Aya'. The loud and vicious sound of 'Omi's' voice made all the girls, Sakura included, stop chatting and start staring at the boys. 'Aya' looked somewhat frightened and confused.   
  
"What about me?" He asked.  
  
"You little son of a..." 'Omi' began.  
  
"Hey, don't swear!" 'Ken' scolded. 'Omi' ignored him and went on. He tried to stay calm as possible.   
  
"I met up with a beautiful girl in a clothing store (insert screams from every schoolgirl here) and I thought I could get a date with her. So put on all my charms and tried every trick in the book, from genki laughter to genki looks. When I tried to ask her out, she told me that she wants to date...to date...him!" He snapped, still pointing at 'Aya'. The girls all gasped. 'Aya' and 'Ken' looked lost. 'Yohji' personally didn't care what was going on.  
  
"Huh?" 'Ken' finally spoke up. "She doesn't want to date m...you?"  
  
"No!" 'Omi' wailed. "She prefers 'Red' over there!"  
  
"My nickname isn't Red!" 'Yohji' snapped.  
  
"I wasn't even talking to you!"  
  
"Yes, you were! You said that your date wants to go out with Aya-k...Aya." 'Ken' said, remembering to throw '-kun' off the name. The girls watched the verbal fight go on. Sakura was starting to look a little hurt. How could *anyone* else want to date Aya-san?   
  
"She does?" 'Aya' asked.  
  
"She wants to date me?" A suddenly interested 'Yohji' asked.   
  
'Omi' scoffed. "No one wants to date you!"  
  
"That's not true!" 'Aya' exclaimed, throwing his arms around 'Yohji'. 'Yohji' just frowned at 'Omi', putting his hands on his hips. The girls all started to whisper and look around, pretending like they were listening to the fight. 'Ken' tried to intervene and keep them from revealing what had happened. He tried to calm everyone down. But stupid 'Omi' was still seeing red...and it wasn't just 'Aya's' hair.   
  
"Why *wouldn't* anyone want to date me?" 'Yohji' suddenly asked. 'Omi' thought about it for a while. He didn't like the way 'Yohji' was glaring at him. The girls, on the other hand, found that look to be quite sexy and began to squeal about how cute 'Yohji-san' was when he looked mad.   
  
"Um, because...because...you're fat!" 'Omi' exclaimed.   
  
This just pissed 'Yohji' off more. "Fat?"  
  
'Aya' was horrified. "You...you think my koi is fat?"   
  
"You guys..." 'Ken' began to say but was cut off by 'Yohji'.  
  
"At least I do workouts with my Jane Fonda tapes every morning. What do you do for exercise, hmm?" 'Yohji' demanded.  
  
*/Aya has Jane Fonda tapes?/* 'Omi' would have laughed if 'Yohji' wasn't giving him a 'I'm going to kill you if you start laughing' look. The girls also found this sexy and even Sakura was smiling. That did explain why 'Yohji-san' had such a nice body. Now Sakura (and everyone else for that matter) wanted to know just what everyone else did to exercise.   
  
"So let me try and understand this." 'Ken' finally got a moment to cut in and interrupt everyone. "This girl Omi likes (one girl let out a sob) decides that she'd rather date me instead. So what's the problem?"  
  
"I don't have a date! That's the problem!" 'Omi' wailed.   
  
"You shouldn't have said that." 'Aya' whispered. 'Yohji' suddenly looked worried and 'Ken' turned pale.  
  
"I'LL DATE YOU, OMI-KUN!" Majority of the girls squealed and nearly attacked 'Omi'. 'Yohji' had to fend them off with the mop. He managed to take out a few but not the whole lot. They glomped 'Omi' and tried to take him outside with them.  
  
"Help me, guys!" He begged as he was carried away.  
  
'Aya' just shook his head. "What a baka."  
  
'Ken' sighed. It looked like they had to save 'Omi' first. Then later, maybe later, he'd get to tell the others about what was going on. Because if they didn't fix this problem, there would be trouble for all of them. There would be A LOT of trouble for all of them.   
  
***   
  
"Is your headache gone?" Crawford asked, opening the door without knocking and walking in. Schuldig shook his head and sat up. They were in Schuldig's bedroom where the telepath had been resting. Amazingly enough, Schuldig's room was very clean. Crawford raised his eyebrows, expecting to see dirt or dust bunnies floating around. None of that was there. There was just a bed, a chest for Schuldig's clothes, and a picture of someone on the nightstand. Crawford couldn't make out who it was though. Schuldig followed his gaze before replying to the question.   
  
"It's not as bad but it's still there. I just can't get their voices out of my head." He explained, thinking back to what happened.  
  
This was the first time Weiß came close to defeating them. He hated himself for letting Balinese...or whoever that was... try and kill him. He hated himself for letting his guard down. Metal pain hurt worse than physical pain. Was he getting weaker? Or did something happen to Weiß?  
  
"I've never been this worried before, Brad." Schuldig murmured. He was rubbing his temples for what seemed like the 238th time. "What happened to Weiss? I've tried to figure out from getting in their heads but..."  
  
"Don't try so hard." Crawford suggested. Schuldig had to look up when he heard that. Since when did Brad, the guy with a wooden pole lodged far up his ass, get so concerned about him? Why did he suddenly care that Schuldig was in pain? He didn't worry about Farfarello or Nagi as much. Why him?  
  
In a corner, where neither Crawford nor Schuldig could find him, Nagi was eavesdropping on them. Of course, he hadn't meant to do it. He was actually coming to get some advice from Crawford. But seeing the precog and the telepath in the same room together, talking rather nicely to each other...well, that was highly interesting. Crawford was showing concern about Schuldig's well-being and he wasn't faking it. Nagi lingered around in the corner, eager to see what would result afterwards. His eyes widened when he saw Crawford hold out his hand and help Schuldig up on his feet.  
  
*/The plot thickens/* He thought, watching the two men. That old cliché definitely worked here.   
  
"Brad, I almost died out there." Schuldig said. Once again, Nagi was surprised. He sounded so serious! He didn't think the German had the ability to take things seriously but now he did!   
  
"I know. I won't let them hurt you this time." Crawford promised.   
  
*/Curiouser and curiouser.../* Nagi thought.   
  
*/Stay out of this, Nagi-wagi!/* Schuldig's thoughts suddenly snapped into his head. */I don't know where you are but I know you're watching this. What's happening between Brad and me is.../*  
  
*/Quite fascinating./* Nagi finished off. */I never knew you cared about anyone, Schuldig. You must have a heart after all./*  
  
*/Dream on, Nagi-wagi. I have no feelings for Brad./*  
  
*/You must. You're the only who calls him 'Brad' and gets away with it./*  
  
"Is something wrong?" Crawford asked when Schuldig hadn't said a word. He put his hands on Schuldig's shoulders and pulled him close. Nagi's eyes widened.  
  
"Eavesdropping, aren't we?" A new voice spoke up from behind Nagi. "God prohibits such acts."   
  
Nagi turned around to find one amber eye staring past him and at the scene inside the bedroom. Farfarello licked his knife and joined in the eavesdropping. By now, Crawford had his hands running through Schuldig's orange locks.  
  
"Next time we meet Weiß", He promised, "We will defeat them."  
  
Schuldig nodded but didn't say anything. Crawford kept stroking Schuldig's hair, getting his fingers caught up in it. The telepath just smiled and put his own arms around Crawford's waist. Nagi began to back away. He had seen all he needed to see.   
  
"What's going on?" Farfarello asked, one eye looking at where Crawford and Schuldig were staring at each other, a strange look in both their eyes. He smirked. He was crazy but even he knew what was going on. "I see. That kind of act will have God screaming in agony."  
  
Nagi couldn't help but smile at that comment. "My sentiments exactly."  
  
TBC...  
  
***  
  
~And thus ends another chapter. Slowly, this story is winding down. Don't believe me? It's true. And when it'll be done, I'll be happy cause then I can begin something new^_^!   
  
~Next chapter: Second Schwarz battle most likely. I know I said Neko comes back here but I lied...again. Sorry. I've been watching a little too much Gluhen (and I like how Ken looks, I don't care what anyone says. He's wearing this red and salmon colored drawstring, hooded jacket as part of his casual outfit...nice!) and I've been depressed lately. Gomen if this chapter isn't up to par with everything else. Humor is hard to write when you're not happy.   
  
~I ran this through a quick editing job so my eyes may deceive and something may seem wrong. If I'm screwing stuff up again, tell me and I'll fix it.  
  
~Well, I'm done. More Brad x Schu and Ran x Ken moments later. So take the time to review. Just no flames please.   
  
Ja ne!  
  
~Carter-chan 


	17. Chapter 16: Ha Ha, Nagi! I'm a Genki Stu...

Switch (Chapter 16: Ha Ha, Nagi! I'm a Genki Stud Muffin and You Aren't!)  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: I'm almost done with this story and I still don't own them. Go figure.  
  
Summary: It's almost done. You should know it by now.  
  
Pairing: RanKen, Brad x Schu (slight). Anything else? No.  
  
***  
  
*breathes out a sigh of relief*  
  
Oro...well over 200 hundred reviews...and only my second Weiss story. I don't know what to say.  
  
Omi: What about 'thank you'?  
  
Me: Good point! But before I do that, I have to address a few issues that came up.   
  
Well, Moku, you asked me if this will turn out to be Omi/Nagi or Nagi/Yohji. I personally don't like Yohji/Nagi. (I'm sorry, diehard fans of that couple but I don't see Yohji swinging towards him.) As for the whole Omi x Nagi deal...much as I like that couple, this story is almost over and I really can't find a way to fit it in. The next story I write, however, I'll be sure to have an Omi x Nagi moment. Perhaps the sequel might have it...  
  
And that leads me to the second thing you asked! Will there be a sequel with Schwarz being switched? Perhaps. The thing is many people have also asked if *they* can write the sequel. I've told them they could. However, if no one does, come back in a few months and bug me to write one. I will.  
  
So! Here we are, dear readers. Second to the last chapter of this confusing but hopefully entertaining story. Don't cry, everyone. There will be more stories from me soon.   
  
Brad: I'm predicting you're going to be flooded by tears very soon.  
  
Me: *shrugs* I can't help it. I want to get started on my other stuff. Anyway, I need to recap. 'Omi' found an ugly orange sweater to replace the one 'Aya' destroyed, 'Yohji' likes Jane Fonda, 'Omi' can't get a date, Schu and Brad spent the night together, and Farfie and Nagi spied on them.   
  
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! Gomen, I haven't made a list this time. The formal thank you is coming in the end including those who read the story's beginning, to those who started in the middle, and to those who chose to read the story now.   
  
And without further ado, I begin the second to last chapter...   
  
***  
  
'Omi' sat outside the shop on top of his car, holding the new orange turtleneck. Night was starting to fall and he wanted to get this over with before it became completely dark. He told 'Aya' the great news and asked him to meet out front. While he was happy that this problem would be solved, he was hurting inside and it wasn't cause the girls wouldn't date him. For the first time in a long time, he was feeling sad. After what 'Ken' told him, he was afraid of losing himself and turning into the real Omi for good. He'd have to go through high school again and get bitched out by their dear leader for being a Takatori. Of course, the real Aya didn't bitch Omi out but still...the future did not look good. And 'Aya' and 'Yohji' still didn't know. Maybe it was a good thing. Those two didn't seem to be changing much. Maybe if they never knew, it would be...  
  
"Yohji!"   
  
'Omi' turned to find 'Aya' running up to him, looking very frantic. He knew why.  
  
"It's about time." He muttered.  
  
"Well?" Aya asked, holding out his hands. "Did you get it? My koi wants to wear that to bed."  
  
'Omi' wondered why the hell *anyone* would wear something as ugly as this to bed but he didn't ask. Besides, his job was to save 'Aya's' ass from 'Yohji's' wrath and he had. Everything would be fine from now on. He would be saved, 'Aya' would be saved, 'Yohji' would have that monstrous thing called a "sweater" back, and 'Ken' would still be watching Fruits Basket in his room.   
  
"Ask and ye shall receive." He said, pulling out the orange sweater. 'Aya' almost burst into tears when he saw that. It was as beautiful as the old one, perhaps more. It was as if a heavenly light was shining on it.  
  
"Dammit, I left the headlights to the car on." 'Omi' complained, getting off the hood and turning them off. Once again, the sweater looked dull. But who cared? The sweater was here and 'Yohji' would never know what happened to the old one.   
  
"I cannot thank you enough." 'Aya' said, smelling the sweater. It did smell fresh and new. His koi would be pleased.  
  
"Just make sure I don't see him wearing that sweater. I mean, he's still in *my* body and you know that if *I* went out wearing that thing in public, the ladies would burn me in effigy." 'Omi' yawned.   
  
"Oh, he won't! I'll make sure..."  
  
"And what sucks is that he'll always be in my body." 'Omi' muttered. 'Aya' snapped his mouth shut and listened. "He's going to turn into me and that'll be that. I'm going to sickeningly genki and big-eyed for the rest of my life!"  
  
'Aya' looked worried and confused. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"You don't know? The chibi has come up with the conclusion that sooner or later, we're all going to be turning into someone else. It's all thanks to the switching of our minds and bodies. You're going to become Aya, Aya will become me, Omi will become you, and I will become Omi. Unless we find a way to switch back to normal, you'll never be Kenken again."  
  
The whole world came down with a thud. No one had told him this till now! 'Aya' tried to put together everything 'Omi' had said into perspective.   
  
"So what you mean to tell me is that I will eventually become Aya?" He asked.   
  
'Omi' nodded sadly. "And seeing that we still have no solutions from Kritiker on how to fix this problem, chances are high we're going to be stuck in these bodies forever."  
  
*/So, in short, he's saying I will never be able to hold my Aya again. I'll never be able to kiss his real lips or run hands down his real chest or touch his real body ever again./* The thought depressed 'Aya' as he hugged the sweater. 'Omi' realized what he had said and he gasped.  
  
"Oh shit! The chibi wanted to tell you that himself! I wasn't supposed to say a word about this! Sorry, Kenken."  
  
"No, it's okay." 'Aya' nodded, breathing hard. "I'm glad to know this. And I'm sure Omi will understand. If not, I can talk to him. I'll talk to Aya while I'm at it."  
  
'Omi' noticed the look on 'Aya's' face. "Don't worry so much about it, Kenken. We'll be out of this mess. I promise."   
  
"What if we don't?" 'Aya' asked. "Will I lose all my memories? Or will they replaced with the ones Aya has? And will I ever be able to play soccer again? Oh, and what about Aya? I can't imagine the rest of my life without him, Yohji! I don't want to see him turn into you! What am I going to do if we never get switched back?"   
  
'Omi' wished he had an answer.   
  
***  
  
"I'm telling you one last time! BUY SOMETHING OR GET OUT!" 'Yohji' screamed for the two millionth time. It was another busy day in the flower shop and the usual crowd of screaming girls was back. No one seemed to care that 'Yohji' was trying to send them out the door instead of 'Aya'. It wasn't raining, thank goodness, but the girls were still cluttering up the place. 'Ken' and 'Omi' both were trying to keep everything normal. 'Aya', however, was too busy thinking of what 'Omi' had said last night. His lover still didn't know about this. 'Aya' wasn't sure if he wanted to tell him.   
  
*/I should./* He told himself. */Aya won't be too happy with the idea but he has to know the truth. Still.../*   
  
"Look, if you aren't buying anything, go home!" 'Yohji' snapped again.   
  
'Aya' finally made up his mind. 'Yohji' had to know the truth. He walked over to where his lover was and pulled him away from the squealing schoolgirls.  
  
"Koi, we need to talk." 'Aya' whispered, pulling his confused lover into the closet. ("Oh, that's really inconspicuous!" 'Omi' said sarcastically when he saw that.) Several girls moaned when they saw 'Yohji' and 'Aya' disappear but they weren't unhappy for long. They started bothering 'Omi' and 'Ken'.   
  
While the girls squealed outside, 'Aya' explained the whole situation to 'Yohji' inside the closet. He told him about how the switch could possibly affect them and how hard life might end up. 'Yohji' listened the whole time, not saying a word, but growing worried inside.  
  
On the outside, 'Omi' and 'Ken' observed the closed closet door. 'Omi' sighed, feeling bad about what he told 'Aya'.  
  
"I didn't mean to..." He murmured. 'Ken' turned around, realizing what he meant.   
  
"They know?" 'Ken' asked. "You already told them?"  
  
"I'm sorry." 'Omi' apologized to 'Ken', watching the two lovers come out of the closet. 'Aya' and 'Yohji' looked at each other for a few minutes. Then 'Aya' leaned over and kissed his boyfriend. "I said that on impulse. I forgot you wanted to tell them yourself."  
  
"It's okay." 'Ken' sighed as he looked at 'Aya' kissing 'Yohji'. He smiled sadly. "In a way, I'm glad you told them. I had no idea how I'd break the news to them myself. It's good you did it on impulse. I think we should close early today so we can sort all this out. C'mon, Yohji-kun."  
  
"Well, they don't look worried." 'Omi' said. He decided to leave the two of them alone and join 'Ken' in closing the store. They began showing the girls, now whining, where the door was while 'Aya' and 'Yohji' kept kissing. 'Omi' had a point. They didn't look worried.  
  
But in reality, both of them were worried. 'Aya' didn't like the idea of being stuck in his koi's body forever. He wanted Kritiker to come up with a solution soon. 'Yohji' didn't look depressed but inside, he hated the whole idea. The switch put their relationship on the line already. 'Aya' had gotten used to pretending Yohji's body was his lover's body. But now this...  
  
"You're the best koi in the whole world, whether you become me or not." 'Yohji' murmured, interrupting 'Aya's' thoughts. He gave him a hug, something very unlike 'Yohji'. "I won't forget what we've had together."   
  
'Aya' nodded miserably. "But I don't want to be you. I mean... I love you! I love the person you are. It's just..."  
  
"You don't want to be me." 'Yohji' finished off.   
  
'Aya' turned red. "Sorry if it hurt your feelings."  
  
"No, you didn't. I'm not thrilled with the idea myself. Do you think I *want* to turn into *Yohji*?"   
  
"I heard that!" 'Omi' snapped. 'Yohji' ignored him.  
  
"He has an interesting body, huh?" 'Aya' asked with a smile.  
  
'Yohji' lowered his voice. "He has more hormones than anything else. And he has quite a few condoms. Personalized condoms, I might add."  
  
'Aya' tried hard not to laugh. "Yohji has *personalized* condoms?!"  
  
"They are in his underwear drawer."  
  
'Omi' and 'Ken' watched from a distance as the two had their "private" conversation. 'Aya' began laughing at something 'Yohji' said and 'Omi' looked suspicious. 'Yohji' better not have told him about the personalized condoms in his underwear drawer!  
  
"Look at those two." 'Omi' made a face. "They're getting too close for comfort."  
  
"Well, they *are* together." 'Ken' pointed out. "Are you getting jealous or something, Yohji-kun?"  
  
"Me? Jealous of two gay guys? Nah!" 'Omi' shook his head, sweeping up the floor. Though he did admit, every time 'Aya' and 'Yohji' kissed, he grew envious. They were back to being serious again.  
  
"I love you no matter what happens to us now." 'Yohji' whispered. "Believe me."  
  
The two of them shared a quick kiss for old times sake. All they could do now was hope that something happened to switch them back.   
  
* * *  
  
Because Schuldig and Crawford hadn't left each other's side since last night and Farfarello was too busy listening to the sounds behind Schuldig's bedroom door, Nagi had been given the daunting task of going to the enemy's hideout and delivering the news. He didn't want to. He had schoolwork. But Crawford forced him out the door anyway. So Nagi dragged himself to where Weiß was. He wasn't surprised to see the shop closed after five. He wasn't here to buy flowers. He was on a certain mission.   
  
*/It's show time./* He told himself, finally approaching the back door of Koneko no Sume Ie. He knew they were inside so he knocked three times. It opened. He saw all four of them inside. 'Yohji' got up but 'Aya' forced to sit down. 'Omi', who was the one who opened the door, glared at him.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He demanded.  
  
"On behalf of Schwarz, I would like to ask you all to a challenge." Nagi began.   
  
"Challenge?" 'Aya' asked, looking curious. Nagi raised an eyebrow for he was amazed that the normally stoic and sullen leader of Weiss was the first one to speak up. Maybe Schuldig wasn't going out of his mind. Maybe something *had* happened to them.  
  
"A challenge." He assured them. "Tonight at ten-thirty. Same place where we fought last time. Come prepared."  
  
'Omi' snorted. "What is this, an invitation to a fight or a tea party?"  
  
Nagi could have said many nasty things at that moment but refrained from doing so. Instead, he ignored 'Omi's' comment and turned to the other three members of Weiss. 'Yohji' was listening but not looking or caring. 'Aya' and 'Ken' were confused. Yes, something was definitely wrong here.  
  
"Do you accept?" He asked. 'Yohji', 'Ken', and 'Omi' exchanged looks. Schwarz wanted to battle again? What for?  
  
"Wait a minute. We need to_" 'Ken' began.   
  
"We accept." 'Aya' said and he was sorry that he had. The others glared at him.   
  
Nagi looked curious and surprised. "You do?"  
  
"Way to go, Kenken." 'Omi' muttered.   
  
"Yes, we accept." 'Yohji' added. "We will be there."  
  
'Omi's' jaw dropped. "But...but..."  
  
"Don't you think..." 'Ken' added.  
  
"No." 'Yohji' said coldly. "They want a fight. They got one."  
  
"Then I will be on my way. Till then, Weiß." Nagi was satisfied and started to walk away. He had to tell the others that everything was going according to plan.   
  
"Hey, Nagi! Wait up!" 'Omi' called out, surprising everyone. Nagi paused and turned around. The others couldn't help but watch the exchange that would take place.   
  
"Yes?" He asked, slightly annoyed. He wanted to go back to the others as soon as possible. He didn't think anyone noticed he was gone though. Crawford was probably still nursing Schuldig and Farfarello was spying on them because, in the Irishman's own words, "Watching people without them knowing it hurts God". But Nagi still wanted to go back. What did Bombay want with him anyway?  
  
"You said I didn't pierce my navel, right?" 'Omi' said slyly.   
  
Nagi did not like where this conversation was going headed. "Yes. So?"  
  
'Ken' was also afraid of what 'Omi' was going to do next. "Y...Omi, what are you talking about?"  
  
"This!" 'Omi' happily turned around for a second and lifted his shirt with flourish. But that second was enough to make 'Ken' lose his balance and collapse onto the couch. Both 'Aya' and 'Yohji' exchanged horrified looks. When 'Omi' turned Nagi (shirt still up), the telekinetic also look sickened.  
  
Straight through 'Omi's bellybutton was a safety pin.   
  
"He didn't." 'Ken' whispered. "He didn't pierce my bellybutton."  
  
'Aya' nodded sadly. "He did."  
  
'Ken' cringed.   
  
"How lovely." Nagi said, looking disgusted at the safety pin. He was also slightly puzzled. Bombay was weak but not stupid. Why'd he go and pierce his navel? And of all things, why did he put a *safety pin* through it?  
  
'Ken', meanwhile, was ready to have a heart attack. He fell back on the couch, clutching his chest. 'Omi' was oblivious to his teammate's plight so he kept trying to impress Nagi.  
  
"Better yet, they did it with a needle that wasn't sterilized." 'Omi' grinned wickedly. Nagi rolled his eyes and 'Ken' felt his heart skipping another beat.  
  
"Don't worry. He probably didn't do anything else." 'Aya' assured him.  
  
However, 'Omi' wasn't through. He was showing off what he had put on his hip.   
  
"Check this out too." He said, pulling down the shorts slightly. 'Ken' squinted his eyes to see what that was. Though he couldn't tell for sure, it looked very much like a tattoo. He inhaled sharply.  
  
Nagi's eyes widened. There, as bright as the sun and as clear as water, was the ugliest tattoo he had ever seen. No, he didn't think the tattoo was vulgar or anything. He thought it was ugly because of how *badly* it was done. On 'Omi's' hip was the tattoo of a woman. She would have been pretty if she had a face and an ass. Instead, the person put this on 'Omi' forgot to add these little details. She wasn't wearing anything either. Wrapped around her body was a pink ribbon with the words "GENKI STUD MUFFIN" written on it. Nagi tried his hardest not to laugh at that.  
  
"Genki stud muffin?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Genki stud muffin? You?"  
  
"Damn straight! That's what my new tattoo says, doesn't it?" 'Omi' said happily. 'Ken' began to hyperventilate. The jerk had gone ahead and did something to his body! Now he'd have a safety pin through his bellybutton and the word 'Genki Stud Muffin' written on his hip forever!  
  
Nagi looked over to where the others were. 'Ken' looked ready to die, 'Aya' looked worried, and 'Yohji' still wasn't giving a damn about anything. Something was *definitely* wrong with this picture.   
  
"Well, congratulations on your piercing and tattoo." Nagi said, not really meaning that. He took one look over to where 'Ken' was. The poor guy was turning blue. "Don't kill your teammates. That's our job."  
  
"Whatever." 'Omi' rolled his eyes.  
  
"Are you through?" 'Yohji' asked, looking annoyed.  
  
"I am." Nagi said. Then he grew serious. "Remember your promise, Weiß."  
  
"We'll be there." 'Aya' assured him. Now, Nagi was *satisfied* and he walked away. 'Ken' finally passed out on the couch due to shock. 'Omi' smiled and silently congratulated himself.   
  
"I think I fooled him with my fake tattoo and piercing." 'Omi' said, pleased with himself. He plucked the safety pin out of his navel with ease.   
  
"He wasn't the only one you fooled." 'Aya' said. 'Omi' turned around and saw what he was talking about. 'Yohji' shot him a glare and pointed. 'Ken' was lying on the couch, unconscious and showing no sign of waking up anytime soon.   
  
'Omi' grinned sheepishly. "I should have told him they were fake, right?"  
  
'Yohji's' glare hardened as he nodded. "You're lucky he didn't die of heart failure."  
  
TBC...   
  
***  
  
Next up: THE THRILLING CONCLUSION! Final big battle between Schwarz and Weiss and everything is resolved in some way!   
  
Sorry for any major spelling/grammar. I ran it through a quick check but hey! I can miss stuff.   
  
So review, review, review! No flames! ^^  
  
P.S. Ken has L'eggs and he knows how to use 'em! ^_^  
  
P.P.S. Gluhen Brad scares and Farfie appears in Gluhen. (Also very scary). Oroooo... 


	18. Epilogue: BOOM! And we're back to normal...

Switch   
  
Epilogue: BOOM! And We're Back to Normal...NOT!  
  
By Carter Tachikawa  
  
Disclaimer: Hey, it's the last chapter. No, I don't own Weiß.   
  
Summary: Here it comes, one last time. A mission leaves the four men of Weiß unconscious. When they awaken, they've switched bodies! Now Ken is in Aya's body, Omi is in Ken's body, Yohji is in Omi's body, and Aya is in Yohji's body. Will they fix the mix-up? (Begins to cry realizing this is the last time I will ever write this summary T_T)  
  
Pairings: Good old Ran x Ken and slight Brad x Schu. (Sniffle...last time I'll be saying this too!)  
  
* * *  
  
(Sigh)  
  
Well, this is it. I've written the last chapter to a long and complicated and confusing fanfic. Everything will end now. Now our guys will face off Schwarz and hopefully fix up the mix up.   
  
BIG LIST OF THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING (for everyone who reviewed both, 16 and 17 and more):  
  
CherubKatan, kami-chan, Nekocin, Mikoto the Gnome Girl, Sailor Panda, Riisha, Mids, IceAngel, Windy-kun, Melanie, Ayako, Meirelle Emeraldeyes, bluerock-nakie, Little Isa, Shaynie (if you looked in the previous chapter, the answer was there), Miss Vampire, Mizu 17, Olivia yuy-maxwell, asa-chan, Siberian, Moku, Neptican, Tears of Pluto, Lunatic, Krysana, and Midnight Katana. (If I left anyone out, I'm sorry^^)  
  
* * *  
  
It wasn't long before Weiß had to go and face their names at the given location. Lucky for all of them, no one seemed to be around to notice or care.   
  
"We're here!" 'Omi' yelled out. The other three glared at him and he knew he did something wrong. "What?"  
  
"We're assassins. We do not go calling out to the targets." 'Yohji' said firmly.  
  
"Are you trying get us killed or something?" 'Ken' added. "Remember what I said? We're supposed to 'surprise' Schwarz, not let them know that we're here."  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Sheesh, I hate being seventeen!" 'Omi' muttered. "I don't want to live through the teenage years again! Especially not in this stubby- toed, short, whiny-voiced_ "  
  
"Yohji-kun!" 'Ken' hissed. "Did you forget that it's *my* body you're talking about?!"  
  
"Be quiet, both of you!" 'Yohji' snapped. "They could be here."  
  
"Which we are!" A familiar, not-so-friendly voice rang out. The four of them paused in their tracks. "Good job, Weiß. You're on time!"   
  
They turned around to find all four Schwarz members behind them. Schuldig smirked, Nagi looked uninterested, Farfarello was licking his knife, and Crawford just looked smug.   
  
"What do you want?" 'Aya' asked, preparing to attack. The others followed his example.   
  
"I'm glad to see you heeded my orders." Crawford continued. That comment, unfortunately, set off an argument.   
  
*/Your orders? I was the one who came up with the brilliant plan!/* Schuldig retorted telepathically. Crawford gave him an annoyed look.   
  
*/You were also the one who came up with idiotic plan for killing people with the letter in E in their names./* He shot back.  
  
*/Hey, you agreed to it!/*  
  
*/I didn't have much of a choice! You stole my clothes while I was taking a shower and threatened not to give them back until I agreed!/*  
  
*/Well, yes. A part of the reason I stole your clothes was so you'd agree but the main reason so I could you see n-a-k-e-d! And damn, you have a fine ass!/* Schuldig smirk grew bigger when he said the last two words.   
  
*/Schuldig!/* Crawford turned red. Farfarello and Nagi just stared at them, knowing they were talking about something but weren't sure what. Weiss was also waiting down there, wondering why their enemies were taking forever to attack. Schuldig and Crawford finally realized that now wasn't exactly the time to talk about this.  
  
*/But enough talk, Braddykins. We got some kittens to torture!/*  
  
*/You've always got to have the last word, don't you?/*  
  
*/Of course!/*  
  
"Are you guys going to fight or not?" A bored 'Omi' asked.   
  
"That's what I'm wondering." Nagi added, glaring at the other two. Brad and Schuldig stopped staring at each other and turned their attention towards Weiß. Farfarello licked his knife one more time before saying two words.  
  
"Let's fight."   
  
And so the battle commenced.   
  
They paired off in their separate areas; 'Aya' versus Crawford, 'Yohji' versus Schuldig, 'Ken' versus Farfarello, and 'Omi' versus Nagi. No one was having good luck in fighting though. Omi charged towards Nagi in hopes of getting the boy down on the ground.   
  
Unfortunately, Nagi was prepared. Using his telekinetic powers, he picked 'Omi' up and slammed him into a wall. Omi let out a cry and Nagi thought he heard something crack. He hoped he hadn't broken any major bones. It would be a shame. He was looking forward to torturing him more. After showing off that stupid navel ring (which Nagi knew was fake) and tattoo, Bombay deserved a little more pain.   
  
"Why do you hate me?" 'Omi' moaned as he slid down that wall and into a heap on the ground.  
  
Nagi shrugged. "Because you are the enemy?"  
  
"Good point." He wheezed. "Just don't hit me in the stomach. Please? I got my bellybutton pierced. I even showed it to you."  
  
Nagi rolled his eyes. "Whatever."   
  
Meanwhile, 'Ken' wasn't having much luck with Farfarello. The Irishman may have been short a few nuts or two but he was strong. 'Ken' never had much experience fighting Farfarello but was wishing he had. Right now, he was pinned down by Farfarello's weight.  
  
"You're weak, kitten." Farfarello pointed out. He began breathing down 'Ken's' neck. "Very weak."  
  
"Get off of me!" 'Ken' choked out.   
  
"Why? Seeing you suffer is making God suffer."  
  
"Because I said so!" Then, using the strength he had, 'Ken' managed to push Farfarello off. The Irishman was a little shocked by this but soon recovered. If anything, he was pleased to see that 'Ken' wanted to fight him. He licked his knife as if to approve this behavior.   
  
"Let's fight, kitten." He said, taking the knife out of his mouth and charging towards 'Ken'. They both went all out and began attacking each other. Farfarello even managed to draw blood when he slashed 'Ken's' arm. Wincing in pain, 'Ken' kept on fighting back.   
  
Then there was 'Aya' and Crawford. Once again, 'Aya' was getting thrashed. Crawford was so fast, he couldn't lay a finger on him! From the number of hits he was receiving, he knew he'd be covered in bruises for weeks. This was not going to please his lover.   
  
*/Poor Ran. This is *his* body that's getting beaten and bruised./* 'Aya' would have felt more guilty if he wasn't being pounded to death at the moment.   
  
Out of all eight, Schuldig was having the most problem. He was fighting Balinese yet he still heard Abyssinian's thoughts! Every now and then, he'd hear something about a sister in a coma, which he knew Balinese didn't have. Then there was something about justice. No, there was none of the usual things: women, cigarettes, sex, etc. He only heard Balinese thinking about revenge and occasionally thinking about Ken.  
  
*/Who are you?/* He demanded. Once again, he managed to get wrapped up by wire.   
  
*/Who do you think I am?/* Was the response he got. Schuldig groaned.  
  
*/Look, kitten, I don't have time to waste. This place is set to blow_/*  
  
'Yohji couldn't believe what he head. "What?!"  
  
Schuldig grinned despite the fact he was still strung up. "Did we forget to tell you, little kitten? We wanted to make sure you died this time around. In case any of us failed to finish you off, we've set a bomb in one of the buildings to blow and destroy everything that surrounds it. And yes, dear kitten, that would include you."   
  
'Yohji' froze in place. This gave Schuldig enough time to break free from the wire and start fighting again. He managed to get 'Yohji' down on the ground and run off.   
  
"It was sure fun playing with you, kitten. I still don't know what's going on but who cares? You're going to die anyway." With that, Schuldig used his super speed to disappear from the scene.   
  
'Yohji' got up, angry with himself for letting the telepath escape. He ran out to find that everyone else was coming towards him. Schwarz was gone but they were still there, beaten and bruised. He ran up to them.   
  
"Guys!" 'Ken' shouted as they regrouped. "We gotta leave! This place is_"  
  
"Going to explode!" 'Aya' finished off. "I know. Crawford revealed that to me."  
  
"And Nagi told me." 'Omi' said. "Great! Just what I needed! Another explosion!"   
  
"Where did Schwarz go?" 'Yohji' demanded, looking around. He didn't see any sign of their enemies.  
  
"They were smart and escaped." 'Aya' sighed. "We should go too."   
  
"Then why are we still standing here for? Let's do what Schwarz did: make like bananas and split!" 'Omi' yelled. Ken   
  
"But they got away!" 'Yohji' grimaced.   
  
"Don't worry about them!" 'Aya' exclaimed, dragging his boyfriend away from the scene. Ken and Omi were already making a beeline towards a safer place. "We've got to escape, koi! Come on!"   
  
"Aw, man, I'm too young to die!" 'Omi' explained as he ran. "And this time, I'm telling the truth!"   
  
"Quick, guys!" 'Ken' yelled from up in front. "We have to get out before_"  
  
BOOM!  
  
* * *  
  
~A couple of minutes later...~  
  
"Oh, my head." Yohji moaned, sitting up. Leave it to Schwarz to pick a place like this. Their enemies had disappeared but they probably weren't dead. Rubbing his temples, he realized that the fight was over and he was lying next to a building that suffered minimal damaged. The sides were singed and few windows were broken but other than that, it was fine. It was certainly better than some of these other buildings, which were completely demolished. Getting strength to turn to the side, he stared into the window of that building.  
  
And Yohji stared back at him.   
  
He blinked two-three times, gaping at the reflection. Instead of a genki teenager, he was looking at a sexy young man. Same blond hair, same jade eyes, sunglasses...yes, he was staring at himself! He wasn't Omi anymore.  
  
*/I'm me again!/* He silently rejoiced, trying hard to hide his excitement. */No more exams! No more shorts! I can date women over 18 again! I can smoke and drink! I don't have to put up with Omi's torture anymore! I'm Yohji again!/*  
  
Then he remembered the torture he went through. Omi was always constantly pinching his side and whatnot when they were switched. Well, he'd show him!  
  
*/If I'm back to normal, Omi probably is too./* He assumed. Grinning wickedly, he made his way over to where the unconscious Omi was and pinched him in the arm.  
  
"OW!" It woke him up. Omi sat up and glared at him with those large blue eyes.   
  
"Serves you right, chibi." Yohji smirked.  
  
"Yohji-kun! That hurt!" Omi whined, rubbing his arm. "What did you do that for?"   
  
"Great! That means you're back to normal too!"   
  
"Huh?" Omi stopped wincing.  
  
"Don't you see, chibi? We've been switched back." Yohji pointed out. "Just look at yourself. You're Omi, not Ken."   
  
Omi looked at himself and saw he was indeed in his old body. "You're right, Yohji-kun! That explosion must have switched us back!" Then he frowned. "Why do I taste something like tobacco, alcohol, and wet crotch in my mouth?"  
  
Yohji decided it was wise not to tell him a thing. Meanwhile, Ken was getting up and rubbing the back of his head. He had landed on the worst part of his body.   
  
"Ow." He moaned. Then he did a double take. That wasn't Aya's voice coming out of his mouth. It was his own! He looked over himself to make sure this was for real. Yes, it was. He was wearing his clothes. He didn't have eartails anymore or an earring in one ear. He was back to normal.  
  
*/I don't believe it./* He began running his hands across his face. Then he also caught a reflection of himself. He had his brown hair, brown eyes, and lopsided grin back. He didn't look like Aya anymore. And that also meant_  
  
Aya grunted something unintelligible before sitting.   
  
"Ken-kun! Aya-kun! We got switched back!" Omi exclaimed, running up to them. "It was the explosion that did this! It was what got us switched and it's what us back."   
  
"Thank God!" Yohji added. "Remind me never to take a mission where explosives are involved. I was not looking forward to being 17 again!"   
  
"Oh, but you must have had some fun while you were in my body?" Omi pointed out. "You got to date girls under 18."  
  
"True but I still prefer women to high school girls. By the way, you may get some phone calls the next few days. Just know I had nothing to do with them."   
  
Omi groaned. "Oh, Yohji-kun!"   
  
They began bantering again but Ken didn't care. He was back in his old body again and so was Aya! Speaking of Aya, he was also checking himself over to make sure everything was all right. He seemed satisfied.  
  
"Isn't this great, koi?" Ken asked, excited about the new switch. "We don't have to worry about living in different bodies anymore!"   
  
"All's well that ends well." Aya murmured, wrapping his arms around Ken. "Personally, I'm glad to be back. And I'm glad you're back in your old body too."  
  
"Same here." Ken nodded. "Though I did learn a few things while I was in your body."  
  
"You did?"  
  
"Yup. For starters, I learned you have very sensitive and soft skin. I accidentally cut myself and, though it was a small cut, it began bleeding immediately. I also realized that you get burned easily too. You should never wear shorts on a sunny day, love. Oh, and I also realized how skinny you are. I've got to feed you something full of sugar or you'll starve!"   
  
"So I'll starve if I eat too little but I'll gain weight and possibly become hyper if I have too much sugar?" Aya raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you want?"   
  
"Um..." Ken blushed. "Forget about that. The bottom line is it was an interesting experience to be in your body."  
  
"Just be glad it wasn't Yohji's body." Aya shuddered. "I never want to go back there again."   
  
"But you *do* want to go home and make love, right?" Ken asked seductively.  
  
"Right." Aya nodded.  
  
Ken smiled. "I was hoping you'd agree with me."  
  
"But first, we talk about your punishment." Aya began.  
  
Ken paled. "Punishment?"  
  
"You still have to fix the scratch on my car, remember? Not to mention you did destroy my first sweater and try to cover it up by buying me a new one." Aya pointed out, half amused and half pissed.  
  
Ken groaned. "You *knew* about that? How?!"  
  
Aya smiled. "I have my ways."  
  
Ken looked over in Yohji and Omi's direction who were still arguing. "One of them told you, didn't they?"  
  
Aya nodded.   
  
"I'm going to torture them so much tomorrow." Ken frowned. "Just wait and see, koi. I'm going to_"   
  
"And", Aya held up a finger and put it to Ken's mouth, "you and I also have a little business to take care of tonight. When we go home, don't change."  
  
"But I smell like the inside of Yohji's mouth! Yuck!"  
  
"Trust me on this! Don't change." Aya then whispered into his lover's ear. "I want you to meet me in the shower, not in bed. Are you catching my drift?"  
  
Ken most certainly did catch the drift. "Yup!"   
  
The two of them kissed underneath the darkened sky while Yohji and Omi fought on. During the kiss, Ken was almost certain he heard Yohji say the words 'liposuction', 'ugly toes', and 'navel piercing'.   
  
* * *  
  
Meanwhile, back the Schwarz headquarters, thing weren't going quite as well.   
  
"I'm going to take a bath!" Schuldig announced. "I'm filthy from head to toe."  
  
"Funny. I was going to go in." Brad frowned.   
  
Schuldig scowled. "I'm sorry but I called dibs on the shower first."  
  
"You know I always go in now. Why couldn't you take one earlier?"   
  
"I did. I didn't expect to get dirty again."   
  
"You should. We were fighting Weiss, in case you forgot!"   
  
"I didn't forget!   
  
"Go in together!" Nagi exclaimed before either one could answer. Before they could react, he telekinetically shoved them into the bathroom and locked the door on them. Schuldig and Brad began banging on the door, begging to be let out. Things like "I'm not going to take a bath with him! I'm too young for this! You have no idea what happened!" were being heard from the other side. Farfarello and Nagi both listened to the commotion. The grin on Nagi's face widened.   
  
"Shouldn't you let them out?" Farfarello asked.   
  
"Nope!" Nagi shook his head. "I like this."   
  
Farfarello looked puzzled. "Why?"  
  
Nagi grinned. "Because spying on two men in the shower is a sin and God doesn't like sinners."   
  
~OWARI~  
  
Interpret that ending as you wish.   
  
Enter long, boring author notes...  
  
And so we have finished the lovely story, dear readers. What started in October (I think) has now finished in May. We laughed, we cried, and more than half of you begged to update this thing quickly. Well, now, it's done.   
  
Those of you who want to write a version starring Schwarz may do so. You can start from my ending or make up something completely different on your own. However, if no one ever does, come back to me in a few months and ask me to do one. I will try to write another fic.   
  
Thank you all for reading this. Whether you started reading this when I had the first chapter or when I was halfway or are reading for the first time now, I thank you. You've given me advice, pointed out where I was wrong, and encouraged me to keep writing. Being only my second Weiß fic, I'm pleased I have kept you till this point. I look forward to hearing from you guys again in the future.   
  
In the meantime, I have two new stories up (both are RanKens^_^), "White Surprise" and "Blank Pages". WS takes place after series and stars Kenken (we all love Kenken^^). BP is completely AU that even a person with no knowledge of Weiß can understand. In addition to RanKen, it has a Yohji/Schu/Brad triangle and Omi/Nagi. You can check them out if you wish.  
  
Now one more note: C-chan is going away in two weeks. I'm going to visit relatives who live out of the country and will have no Internet access T_T. So don't try emailing or IM-ing me from May 31 to July 22. You won't find me. But I will keep writing!  
  
Forgive any major errors. I did the best editing job I could.   
  
Take care, dear readers. Thank you for hanging on so long.   
  
Till next fic,   
  
~Carter-chan/Carter-kun/Carter-san/C-chan/Carter/CT 


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